So I woke up around 5am this morning. It wasn't a bad dream. It might have been a full bladder (it probably was), of course I miggt have just awoken. Only five hours of sleep, but since i don't feel particularly sleepy, I'm going to try staying up and see what happens. I may even go workout, but that would mean leaving now, since Cha needs to be at ( Read more... )

I’m so depressed. Or maybe it’s frustration. I think it’s frustration fueling my depression. All I know is I’d rather kill myself than go to work this evening. I worked 8 hours last night. I don’t think I can handle six hours tonight. Then there’s another eight hours tomorrow night. I just can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep pretending to be ( Read more... )

Today I finally, four months after moving into this apartment, cleaned off my kitchen/dining room table. It took me about half an hour because I did my best to put things up as opposed to just moving the mess elsewhere. Then I roasted chicken. It had been air-drying in my fridge for the last two days. Why two days? Because Wednesday was the only ( Read more... )

I had a very minor epiphany a few minutes ago, I realized I don’t know what I want relationship-wise. It’s kind of problematic because it leaves me unable to proceed in that front. Right now, Cha is trying to be friends (so she says) though some of her actions lead me to believe she wants to be more than friends. She has repeatedly assured me she’s ( Read more... )

I hate my job. Not that it’s a bad job, it’s actually a pretty decent job. It’s just that I’m so manifestly unsuited for it that it sucks the will to live right out of me. Not to mention the will to do anything else. I wish I could find a different job, but most every job I qualify for is going to want me to work the hours they set as opposed to my ( Read more... )

Today wasn’t a bad day. It wasn’t a good day either. It was a day. Work wasn’t too bad, it was pretty slow most of the night, just a few rushes now and then. I was working with Steve, and we seem to get along ( Read more... )

It's been over four years since I last posted here. That's quite a while. A lot has happened since then. For one thing I've found out that I suffer from depression, PTSD, anger issues, and Asperger (autism). The latter discovery explained a lot about me. It might be of some wonder why I'm writing here, as I'm quite sure all of the friends I had on ( Read more... )

Yeah, it’s been a while. Wish I could say I’ve been too busy to post, but that’s not the truth. Truth is I just haven’t felt like it. I mean I can spend only so much time narrating my boring workdays before I realize I’m writing the same dreck every day. I mean anyone who knows me and especially anyone with the patience to read my ramblings knows ( Read more... )