What I'm Most Proud Of
So, it's one of those I'm really tired and cranky but I can't fall asleep nights. So I decided to write this post. Today, Ruito-san posted a note on facebook, KpopJpop Addict's account, about the admins. One of the lines were what they were most proud of. Mind you, this was asked a long time ago, so because he was one of the admins, Mao answered that question as well. Mao's answer to the question "what you're most proud of" was "my wife YanYan aiwoni". We never really talked about what we were most proud of. I always thought it was his open minded self with being a fanboy.
So, I decided to answer that question myself. I'm most proud of my supporting and good friends that have came to become my family, and my deceased husband. They are all special and hold important places in my heart, even though I've never told them so. My friends, Katie, Tai, Jennifer, Ruito, Jo, Ray, Jiroh, Sai and Hika and my husband, Mao.
Katie, my hyung, the one that causes me to be gender confused. The one who I go to most often with my problems. The one who write journal entries about me and for me just to give me strength. The one I cry to, escape reality to whenever things get hard. Hyung always listens to me, regardless of problems, and is always willing to stand on my side. She always forgives me even if I do stupid things I promised not to do. When things get tough at home, or my sleeping pattern worsens she talks to me, soothes me, comfort me and does all she can to put me at ease. The one who skypes with me most often, and watches me sleep like he used to. I'm proud of hyung because of her strength. No matter what happens, she tries to not let those around her worry. She does her best to be strong and support everyone else. With all the stress she's going through, she's strong for holding on. If I was hyung, I would have ran away and hid from all of that, but hyung stands tall, fighting whatever comes. And for that, I'm proud to have her as my hyung.
Tai, my aniki, the one that woke me up in the beginning to my wrongdoings and is now the one that unconditionally protects me. He hacks onto my accounts, sometimes without my consent, okay, fine most of the time without my consent, to deal with people that hurt me. He blocks them, talks to them, yell at them, even if they hurt him, he stands up for me. Others know him as the mean Tai, the jerkface. I admit, in the beginning I was scared of him, his words hurt, it's not joke. But he has his reasonings and way of thinking that supports these arguments he have. But now, he's my caring gege, that hugs me and ruffles my hair when I'm in need of it. And when hyung's not around, he does the job of giving me reassurance, even to the point of snuggling me to sleep, which he hates, and I almost got gagged and tied up for. But that's Tai. I'm proud of aniki, because although he's a meanie once in awhile, he's a big softy on the inside, more of a softy than I am. He's playful, I mean, what kind of guy takes almost naked pictures of himself just to prove he has a good body? I'm proud to have him as my aniki, always protecting me and keeping others from hurting me. And I'll always stand behind him when things go wrong.
Jennifer, my yeodongsaeng, the one that forgets all the Japanese and Korean I ever teach her and comes back asking me again. She's patient and listens to my stories even though they don't make sense. She is always ready to sort through my confusion when I just blab stuff out randomly. I'm proud of her because of her patience and her strength. She's always patient regardless of what matter it is. Although she likes to dig into other's personal space sometimes because she wants to know what's wrong, it's all her way of showing she cares. She's strong for continuing with a relationship her parents will probably not approve of, and if they find out hell will probably break loose. But she's too adorable when she talks about her other half, about how in love she is, and the glory of watching her blush and squeal. She gives me strength, because being one of the younger ones and the more childish ones in the group, everyone else tends to protect me, but her, she allows me to lead her once in awhile, she listens to my advices and lets me help her work out her problems.
Ruito, my onii-chan, the one that delivered good and bad news to me and caught me up with what was going on. No matter how busy he was, how much work he had to do, he always came on to tell me what was going on and what they were going to do about it. He kept me updated so I wasn't confused and worried. I'm proud of him for fighting for what he loved. He fought down all barriers to get the person he loved. And now that he's with the person he loves, he supports that person every step of the way. He was strong for giving up his love for the person in the beginning, but I see him as stronger for fighting for that person so he can provide the person happiness. I'm no longer afraid of his messages because I don't think he can give me anymore bad news. Onii-chan, if you do continue to only tell me bad news I might have to take the next flight just to strangle you. Just saying.
Jo, my dongsaengie, the one that I worry for most out of everyone. He's my dongsaengie, the one I care for most because he's younger than me, because my motherly/older sister instincts kick in when I'm with him. Maybe it's his weight issues that make me worry most. I miss talking to him. We used to be the closest, as he was first friend of Mao's that I met, and then because of misunderstanding and drama in between, we stopped talking. We were supposed to talk more often, but was postponed again. He's cheerful, unique, and a pleasant person to be around. I understand why aniki calls him chatterbox, but I don't mind it, I like that he talks. I'm proud of him for living his dream. He got into dancing academy, and before we know it, he'll be a big star, living his dream. He worked and fought hard to get to where he is today, and I know he won't give up. With the help of his significant other, and those that care about him, he'll make it all the way. I know he can, I have faith in him.
Ray, my oppa, the one that teases me and makes fun of me the most. He's the only one on here, that's not met through Mao, and the only one I physically see and touch. During my hard times, he'll sleep with me in the lounge and hug me when I need a shoulder to cry. He treated me to lots of food, and took care of me. When Mao left, I didn't want to go out, I didn't want to talk to anyone, but Ray would come and pull me out as much as I was unwilling. He made sure I ate, even the tiniest bit and took me to the doctors when my body was giving in. I'm proud of him for always taking care of others even when he had to balance all his work. He tried his best through everything and regardless of what happened, he was always there.
Jiroh, the ugly tall thing, the one that calls me short and is mean to me. According to me and Mao's dictionary definition of him, Jiroh is the ultimate perverted, stingy and open uke there is. I'm probably mean to only him, probably because his teasings are too much to handle sometimes, so I make fun of his pervertedness. I never heard of a person that can have a go in the places he can. I guess in Jiroh land, there's no privacy, all out in the open is fine too. He may be a jerk and a prick but he's nice sometimes. It makes me happy that even though he's afraid of girls, he's able to talk to me and "hugged" me once. Maybe it's over cyber that he was able to do it, but still made me happy. Although the things he say still make me shiver, I know he means well. I'm proud of him for being able to sleep all the time. Just kidding, I'm proud of him for his openess. Most people are against being so open like he is, but he is. He expresses himself however the hell he wants to, and if others don't approve of it, well to hell with it. He cares for you in his own way, maybe tossing in a tease here and there, but he does care and worry.
Sai, the weird guy, but the one that took the time to reply to my video. I'm not going into why he's weird, but he is. He's over eight months younger than me, but he acts like he's eight years older than me. He's like the head of the group. The way he thinks, the way he acts is very mature. So, I was shocked to know he was younger than me. I don't talk much with him as we don't talk much except that one time, but it's nice to know him. I'm proud of his leadership skills. Because I know I will never be a leader, instead, I will always follow them behind.
Hika, the gamer, the one that teased me and Mao once, and that was the end of our conversation. He send me chocolate as a white day's present even though I was only kidding about it. Till today, I still haven't eaten those chocolate. I should really eat it before it expires. He probably enjoys gaming more than anything else in the world. He's protective of his brother and his sleep. I heard stories about those unfortunate beings that had to wake him up from his sleep. He seems fun, and it would be nice to get to know him better. And because of that, I have a blank reason to why I'm proud to be his friend.
And now my husband. I don't think you guys really need to know what makes me so proud of him, because I'm simply proud of everything that has to do with him. If I was to list everything, I might never be able to sleep, and that won't be good would it? I know he knows, what I'm proud of him for. He was the best thing that happened to me. Because of him, I met majority of my family friends now. And they are all very important to me. I still miss him, and every fifth and twentieth and twenty ninth and first are hard, but I'll get through it. I just need more hugs and kitty by my side. Just right now, without either, it's hard to fall asleep.
I'm going to stop here. I'm proud of friends I have that we barely talk anymore, but am still happy to be their friend. Mai, Sha-Sha, noona and Yunho. Friends that used to talk with everyday, but probably because I'm annoying and a pain in the ass that they no longer want to talk with me.
So, I decided to answer that question myself. I'm most proud of my supporting and good friends that have came to become my family, and my deceased husband. They are all special and hold important places in my heart, even though I've never told them so. My friends, Katie, Tai, Jennifer, Ruito, Jo, Ray, Jiroh, Sai and Hika and my husband, Mao.
Katie, my hyung, the one that causes me to be gender confused. The one who I go to most often with my problems. The one who write journal entries about me and for me just to give me strength. The one I cry to, escape reality to whenever things get hard. Hyung always listens to me, regardless of problems, and is always willing to stand on my side. She always forgives me even if I do stupid things I promised not to do. When things get tough at home, or my sleeping pattern worsens she talks to me, soothes me, comfort me and does all she can to put me at ease. The one who skypes with me most often, and watches me sleep like he used to. I'm proud of hyung because of her strength. No matter what happens, she tries to not let those around her worry. She does her best to be strong and support everyone else. With all the stress she's going through, she's strong for holding on. If I was hyung, I would have ran away and hid from all of that, but hyung stands tall, fighting whatever comes. And for that, I'm proud to have her as my hyung.
Tai, my aniki, the one that woke me up in the beginning to my wrongdoings and is now the one that unconditionally protects me. He hacks onto my accounts, sometimes without my consent, okay, fine most of the time without my consent, to deal with people that hurt me. He blocks them, talks to them, yell at them, even if they hurt him, he stands up for me. Others know him as the mean Tai, the jerkface. I admit, in the beginning I was scared of him, his words hurt, it's not joke. But he has his reasonings and way of thinking that supports these arguments he have. But now, he's my caring gege, that hugs me and ruffles my hair when I'm in need of it. And when hyung's not around, he does the job of giving me reassurance, even to the point of snuggling me to sleep, which he hates, and I almost got gagged and tied up for. But that's Tai. I'm proud of aniki, because although he's a meanie once in awhile, he's a big softy on the inside, more of a softy than I am. He's playful, I mean, what kind of guy takes almost naked pictures of himself just to prove he has a good body? I'm proud to have him as my aniki, always protecting me and keeping others from hurting me. And I'll always stand behind him when things go wrong.
Jennifer, my yeodongsaeng, the one that forgets all the Japanese and Korean I ever teach her and comes back asking me again. She's patient and listens to my stories even though they don't make sense. She is always ready to sort through my confusion when I just blab stuff out randomly. I'm proud of her because of her patience and her strength. She's always patient regardless of what matter it is. Although she likes to dig into other's personal space sometimes because she wants to know what's wrong, it's all her way of showing she cares. She's strong for continuing with a relationship her parents will probably not approve of, and if they find out hell will probably break loose. But she's too adorable when she talks about her other half, about how in love she is, and the glory of watching her blush and squeal. She gives me strength, because being one of the younger ones and the more childish ones in the group, everyone else tends to protect me, but her, she allows me to lead her once in awhile, she listens to my advices and lets me help her work out her problems.
Ruito, my onii-chan, the one that delivered good and bad news to me and caught me up with what was going on. No matter how busy he was, how much work he had to do, he always came on to tell me what was going on and what they were going to do about it. He kept me updated so I wasn't confused and worried. I'm proud of him for fighting for what he loved. He fought down all barriers to get the person he loved. And now that he's with the person he loves, he supports that person every step of the way. He was strong for giving up his love for the person in the beginning, but I see him as stronger for fighting for that person so he can provide the person happiness. I'm no longer afraid of his messages because I don't think he can give me anymore bad news. Onii-chan, if you do continue to only tell me bad news I might have to take the next flight just to strangle you. Just saying.
Jo, my dongsaengie, the one that I worry for most out of everyone. He's my dongsaengie, the one I care for most because he's younger than me, because my motherly/older sister instincts kick in when I'm with him. Maybe it's his weight issues that make me worry most. I miss talking to him. We used to be the closest, as he was first friend of Mao's that I met, and then because of misunderstanding and drama in between, we stopped talking. We were supposed to talk more often, but was postponed again. He's cheerful, unique, and a pleasant person to be around. I understand why aniki calls him chatterbox, but I don't mind it, I like that he talks. I'm proud of him for living his dream. He got into dancing academy, and before we know it, he'll be a big star, living his dream. He worked and fought hard to get to where he is today, and I know he won't give up. With the help of his significant other, and those that care about him, he'll make it all the way. I know he can, I have faith in him.
Ray, my oppa, the one that teases me and makes fun of me the most. He's the only one on here, that's not met through Mao, and the only one I physically see and touch. During my hard times, he'll sleep with me in the lounge and hug me when I need a shoulder to cry. He treated me to lots of food, and took care of me. When Mao left, I didn't want to go out, I didn't want to talk to anyone, but Ray would come and pull me out as much as I was unwilling. He made sure I ate, even the tiniest bit and took me to the doctors when my body was giving in. I'm proud of him for always taking care of others even when he had to balance all his work. He tried his best through everything and regardless of what happened, he was always there.
Jiroh, the ugly tall thing, the one that calls me short and is mean to me. According to me and Mao's dictionary definition of him, Jiroh is the ultimate perverted, stingy and open uke there is. I'm probably mean to only him, probably because his teasings are too much to handle sometimes, so I make fun of his pervertedness. I never heard of a person that can have a go in the places he can. I guess in Jiroh land, there's no privacy, all out in the open is fine too. He may be a jerk and a prick but he's nice sometimes. It makes me happy that even though he's afraid of girls, he's able to talk to me and "hugged" me once. Maybe it's over cyber that he was able to do it, but still made me happy. Although the things he say still make me shiver, I know he means well. I'm proud of him for being able to sleep all the time. Just kidding, I'm proud of him for his openess. Most people are against being so open like he is, but he is. He expresses himself however the hell he wants to, and if others don't approve of it, well to hell with it. He cares for you in his own way, maybe tossing in a tease here and there, but he does care and worry.
Sai, the weird guy, but the one that took the time to reply to my video. I'm not going into why he's weird, but he is. He's over eight months younger than me, but he acts like he's eight years older than me. He's like the head of the group. The way he thinks, the way he acts is very mature. So, I was shocked to know he was younger than me. I don't talk much with him as we don't talk much except that one time, but it's nice to know him. I'm proud of his leadership skills. Because I know I will never be a leader, instead, I will always follow them behind.
Hika, the gamer, the one that teased me and Mao once, and that was the end of our conversation. He send me chocolate as a white day's present even though I was only kidding about it. Till today, I still haven't eaten those chocolate. I should really eat it before it expires. He probably enjoys gaming more than anything else in the world. He's protective of his brother and his sleep. I heard stories about those unfortunate beings that had to wake him up from his sleep. He seems fun, and it would be nice to get to know him better. And because of that, I have a blank reason to why I'm proud to be his friend.
And now my husband. I don't think you guys really need to know what makes me so proud of him, because I'm simply proud of everything that has to do with him. If I was to list everything, I might never be able to sleep, and that won't be good would it? I know he knows, what I'm proud of him for. He was the best thing that happened to me. Because of him, I met majority of my family friends now. And they are all very important to me. I still miss him, and every fifth and twentieth and twenty ninth and first are hard, but I'll get through it. I just need more hugs and kitty by my side. Just right now, without either, it's hard to fall asleep.
I'm going to stop here. I'm proud of friends I have that we barely talk anymore, but am still happy to be their friend. Mai, Sha-Sha, noona and Yunho. Friends that used to talk with everyday, but probably because I'm annoying and a pain in the ass that they no longer want to talk with me.