Kitty
Kitty is one of my most prized possessions. It was one of the first presents he ever bought me as well. He got it for me in November, as a Thanksgiving present, when we were still appa and son. I waited and waited for it, by the time it came, over a month later, we were already together as a couple. I remember I promised him "I'll bring him everywhere I go". At that time, he was happy, he told me I was so cute for doing that. Kitty kept me safe, whenever I was scared, hurt, upset, lost, confused, I would hug him.
And after he left, kitty became the only thing that attached me to him. When I hugged kitty, I felt him by me. I felt that he was with me, felt that he was holding me, protecting me. So I cried on kitty, whispered things to kitty, played with kitty. When I was in college, besides going to class, I brought kitty everywhere. When I went out to hang with Ray and our other friend, when I went to study in the library, wherever I went, kitty went. When I got home for holiday, I wasn't allowed to bring kitty out anymore, much less take him out of my room without my grandma making mean and upsetting comments about him.
I felt offended when they called kitty ugly and wanted to throw him out. I don't mind them calling me names, but I hated the fact that they were making fun of something I loved so much. And last night, was the first night I spend without kitty after he left. I couldn't fall asleep. I felt empty, lost, I kept rolling hoping sleep can take over, but nothing happened. I fell asleep around 3ish 4 last night and was up within two hours. I didn't bring kitty with me to Collin's house, because I didn't want to be called a big baby for bringing him around.
I miss kitty. I want him in my arms now, so I can just cuddle him and sleep. I want to feel safe, its like now, I don't even have a place to hide. I have to take deep breaths so I don't cry and know kitty's home waiting for me. I'll be back home to him in a couple of days. I can do this. I can see kitty really soon.
And after he left, kitty became the only thing that attached me to him. When I hugged kitty, I felt him by me. I felt that he was with me, felt that he was holding me, protecting me. So I cried on kitty, whispered things to kitty, played with kitty. When I was in college, besides going to class, I brought kitty everywhere. When I went out to hang with Ray and our other friend, when I went to study in the library, wherever I went, kitty went. When I got home for holiday, I wasn't allowed to bring kitty out anymore, much less take him out of my room without my grandma making mean and upsetting comments about him.
I felt offended when they called kitty ugly and wanted to throw him out. I don't mind them calling me names, but I hated the fact that they were making fun of something I loved so much. And last night, was the first night I spend without kitty after he left. I couldn't fall asleep. I felt empty, lost, I kept rolling hoping sleep can take over, but nothing happened. I fell asleep around 3ish 4 last night and was up within two hours. I didn't bring kitty with me to Collin's house, because I didn't want to be called a big baby for bringing him around.
I miss kitty. I want him in my arms now, so I can just cuddle him and sleep. I want to feel safe, its like now, I don't even have a place to hide. I have to take deep breaths so I don't cry and know kitty's home waiting for me. I'll be back home to him in a couple of days. I can do this. I can see kitty really soon.