One of the earliest discussions I had with the Irishman brough a central anxiety of mine to light that has been recently realized and caused considerable shame and doubt. He noted that I use my superficial intellect (my ability to do on a whim what other people need to take time, effort, and intense study to accomplish) as a guard. It guards me ( Read more... )

My four-year vacation from the realities of life is nearly over and the only thing keeping me from being exhilerated is the question of my fate looming above me like the gray skies of Meadville. Will I get into grad school? Where will I be living in four months? What am I going to do if all my best laid plans fall through? Is there love for this ( Read more... )

It was the same story. Sure, the details changed minorly from one night to the next, but ultimately it's the same. I was in Grounds for Change, chatting up a girl, thinking I was finally making progress, finally thinking that perhaps I'm not destined for a bachelor's life. Then Dick waltzes through to say hi and in those ten seconds, he made more ( Read more... )

The Brain came back to me. In the same way as college students from Allegheny bumping into one another in New York City, we didn't expect to see one another again, but we did. The recent agony of my life has begun to press against me steadily. It's not painful, but it's worrisome ( Read more... )

Postings 5.20-5.22 are omitted at present. The "Lake trilogy" detailing my trip with Maritza to the lake, my trip with Dixie to the lake, and my first night back in Meadville is still being written and will (most likely) be posted once completed.

AJW

Five days. I have five days until I am done with what is in essence my third year of college. Were I in a more philosophical mindset, I'd be inclined to review the past eight weeks, see what I've learned about myself and others, report those revelations to you, and we'd all be better for having learned it ( Read more... )

Lately, there's been plenty going on in my life. It's the sort of epic story that would be perfect for LiveJournal - if only I didn't have this pesky need to protect the privacy and autonomy of my friends. As I said to Liz, as we were driving at midnight toward the Cross farm, "This is the sort of stuff I would love to write about. But it's also ( Read more... )

Sunshine came back into my life at about the same time my summer fling prospects faded away. It's worth considering, though noting that I'm not more than superficially distraught by the whole thing ( Read more... )

I'm supposed to be writing a paper for my contemporary lit class and revising my second essay for rhetoric & comp. After the bad grade I received on the last paper, I should work harder to revise and better synthesize my argument. However, I'm feeling restless and decided to write instead of doing my work. Surprise, surprise, surprise ( Read more... )

Maybe it's the time of night. Maybe it's the fact that I haven't eaten anything substantial all day. Maybe it's loneliness. For whatever reason, I'm listening to a number of sad celtic tunes and feeling what I've termed aquamarine - the combination of blues and greens. It's like having the blues, or feeling blue, but with an Irish twist (green). ( Read more... )