5.19 - Last Hurrah
Five days. I have five days until I am done with what is in essence my third year of college. Were I in a more philosophical mindset, I'd be inclined to review the past eight weeks, see what I've learned about myself and others, report those revelations to you, and we'd all be better for having learned it.
As it is, I'm just kind of stressed out.
I have four paper drafts that really have to be done by tomorrow, I have three final exams this week beginning on Thursday, and otherwise I have to go through another five days (read 'em - five, not four) of classes. I'm used to my mind becoming knotted at this point in the semester, but now...I wish it weren't for reasons that have nothing to do with the academic.
Did I miss something by compressing a year into eight weeks? Should I have stuck around for another year, lived with some of my contemporaries instead of the monastary I call home? Should I have taken the time...put my social life before my career?
I spent ten minutes outside last night, on a break from my R&C paper for the Dragon Lady. There was some lightning phenomenon that was lighting up the night sky in irregular bolts. The insects were singing, the humidity was down, and the air was warm. The sort of night I would have liked to sit down with a novel and some Mt. Dew and just absorbed. Instead, I cut my ruminations short in order to be back at my desk, burning the oil at 2am.
The upside of all this is my master plan has taken a decided turn and I will be able to shift something which will give me more power. The fall semester is upon me and in a moment of weakness, the same moment I suspect an actor experiences in that split second before the curtain rises on opening night, I feel like dashing, slashing and burning, and indulging my youth.
Then the curtain rises and I step confidently onto the stage.
As it is, I'm just kind of stressed out.
I have four paper drafts that really have to be done by tomorrow, I have three final exams this week beginning on Thursday, and otherwise I have to go through another five days (read 'em - five, not four) of classes. I'm used to my mind becoming knotted at this point in the semester, but now...I wish it weren't for reasons that have nothing to do with the academic.
Did I miss something by compressing a year into eight weeks? Should I have stuck around for another year, lived with some of my contemporaries instead of the monastary I call home? Should I have taken the time...put my social life before my career?
I spent ten minutes outside last night, on a break from my R&C paper for the Dragon Lady. There was some lightning phenomenon that was lighting up the night sky in irregular bolts. The insects were singing, the humidity was down, and the air was warm. The sort of night I would have liked to sit down with a novel and some Mt. Dew and just absorbed. Instead, I cut my ruminations short in order to be back at my desk, burning the oil at 2am.
The upside of all this is my master plan has taken a decided turn and I will be able to shift something which will give me more power. The fall semester is upon me and in a moment of weakness, the same moment I suspect an actor experiences in that split second before the curtain rises on opening night, I feel like dashing, slashing and burning, and indulging my youth.
Then the curtain rises and I step confidently onto the stage.