Is the true Self what one is, or what one wishes to be? And if the former is the case, then is it dishonest to try to change ( Read more... )

It was the middle of November last year when I had the closest thing to a real mental breakdown that I've ever experienced. For several nights in a row I lay on the thin Berber carpet in one of the lightless study lounges or on a low wall in a nearby parking garage, sobbing and wishing for some private space and for some respite from all of my ( Read more... )

I am beginning to develop a serious case of wanderlust. It frustrates me that hitchhiking is not only illegal, but also pretty much impossible for the most part thanks to low-budget Hollywood thrillers ( Read more... )

"There is an ecstasy that marks the summit of life, and beyond which life cannot rise. And such is the paradox of living, this ecstasy comes when one is most alive, and it comes as a complete forgetfulness that one is alive." - Jack London

These two sentences have profoundly affected my life.

I have a really difficult time coming up with honest opinions. I watched Adventureland today and when the movie was over, the people who were with me asked me what I thought of it. I could not give them a real opinion, so I just said it was average. The truth is that I don't know what I thought about it. I sat through it thinking, "I've given a lot ( Read more... )

I think I'm managing to get my life back in order (at least for now) after several weeks of intermittent depression. James and I cleaned up the room yesterday, I'm catching up on school work (I just wrote a three-page essay in about forty-five minutes), I signed up for counseling (first appointment is tomorrow, when they decide whether or not I ( Read more... )

My friend's brother-in-law is a professional photographer. He didn't go to college, and he is bringing in enough money to fully support himself, his wife, and his new son. And I don't mean that they're just scraping by.

I really don't even want to go to college, and I'm not sure I have the drive to get through four or more years of it in the first ( Read more... )

In the summer of 2004, I lost two friends due to a really horrific lapse of judgment on my part. That one event made my life, and probably the lives of several others, pretty hellish for the next two years due to constant anxiety, guilt, and fear. I won't go into what happened, and if you somehow manage to figure it out, please keep it to yourself ( Read more... )

I wish my friends were more spontaneous. I just want to be an idiot. I don't think anyone understands that, and I can't explain what I mean.

I sure hope the weird feeling in my stomach isn't an ulcer.