This might be irrational, even down right, borderline, bad-girlfriend crazy but every time he mentions something that happened while he was with his ex he says “we”. And every single time, those two tiny letters (which have such a massive connotation) make my skin crawl.  It’s jealousy. That I’m sure of. But, to be jealous of things that happened ( Read more... )

I won’t get angry...well, any angrier, anyway. I won’t spill your little secrets either, although I was tempted to. And it’s not the fact that you ended things - no, that would have been fine. It’s how you didn’t, but...

In the middle of some night, you’ll wake up drenched in a cold sweat, sickened by the knowledge that something is missing, ( Read more... )

I’ve been wondering, would it have made a difference if I had said something? If I had made a great declaration of how I felt, if I had just said something as you sat on my sofa and first told me about her. Were you waiting for me to say something, to react? I had been waiting since that night, long before, since I closed that door. Maybe, I’ve ( Read more... )

It was late, I was typing, and this is what happened. I think they call it poetry.

( 1:49AM and Counting )

Asking how I am is such a loaded question. Usually, I’m okay. Stable, to a point. Or at least highly functioning, which is my forte. That’s usually. That’s except on Wednesdays and Sundays. Those are the days I go to visit my grandmother in the nursing home. (For the record, when my papa was in a nursing home, while I was a child, I didn’t visit. ( Read more... )

For a shinning moment you think you see something. You think you have something figured out, and you’re even hopeful about it - which might be where the whole problem lies. You think you may have had a connection with someone, a little spark of something that for once in your life you think you’ll actually just go with it, and to hell with that ( Read more... )

I’m feeling hurt, used and stupid. Really stupid.

And angry.

I feel inadequate.

I feel like such a fool for lying with him, and for telling him anything. For being exposed. For being honest. For being me. For letting my guard slip.

I feel like a joke, and a pawn. Just pick on the weak one. The easy…target.

I feel labelled.

I’m an idiot for thinking ( Read more... )

Dear Universe,

I’m starting to notice that I’m being punished. I’m not sure by who or what, but that’s the only thing I can come up with. I’m being punished - or tested in a way that I’m only doing to fail. I must have accumulated a number of sins against the Universe, and I would like to apologise for those.

I am sorry for all my indiscretions ( Read more... )