I decided to take the Peace Smart Relationship class as part of exploring the Restorative Justice Program CLI offers. I had no idea how much growth and introspection I would find in this class. I am truly enjoying the insight and perspective it is giving me. However, not all growth, insight and perspective comes free of growing pains.

One of the ( Read more... )

I have been thinking all day about what I should write about in my journal today. Truth is I just feel empty and numb. That sounds bad, but I am not so sure it is. I have plenty rolling around in my head. Things about training, past relationships, BDSM, the kids I work with, the situation with my neice, how everyone needs a part of me but I feel ( Read more... )

Call me a pessimist if you like. I find it truley ridiculous that people feel the need to wait for a new year in order to make changes they know they need to make. If our life needs a change, it is up to us to make it. I can see waiting for a new week, or maybe a new month if it is close....but a year? I think the reasons that New Years resolutions ( Read more... )

I think my friend, Token, may have said it best when he said something to the affect of:

There is always a tragedy. There is always senseless violence in the world. I honestly, do not have the energy to be outraged all the time. All we can do is live our life to the fullest, understanding that it can all be taken away in a single moment…because ( Read more... )

So last night there was suppose to be this big meteor shower. So we waited until the peak time and settled down on our sleeping bags in the freezing temperatures to look up at the night sky. We watched for about an hour as we shivered and our teeth chattered. During that time we saw a few. Some of the ones we saw were dim and barely able to be seen ( Read more... )

I really hate the way that I suddenly get overwhelmed with fear and anxiety about things that may or may not happen. When I feel like my world hinges on chance, I begin to fall apart inside. I drown myself in what ifs and lose all sense of logic. I feel like the world either is, or is about to spin out of control and I will be left behind; just a ( Read more... )

Today I was described as a bully. I was told that everyone in the house thinks that. Well, I know that isnt true of Randy or Anna. However, that leaves the person who said it and one other person. I suppose I will have to talk to that person. You see, I do not see myself as a bully. For many years, my entire life really, I have allowed others to ( Read more... )

In an effort to live a more stress free life and to defeat the despair and depression I have been feeling I have issued a 30 day challenge to myself"

I will have no expectation of truthfulness.

The quest for truth has been long and dark ( Read more... )

So, I was reminded this week that the world really isnt all about me. Apparently, I had a very self centered narcissistic moment while being completely unaware that I was only hurting myself by doing so. It isnt really like me to make things about me that are not. In fact, it is more my style to do the exact opposite. I tend to not allow anything ( Read more... )