[Rex is hanging out in the lab, decked out in his mad scientist outfit and fiddling with some complicated-looking machinery with Capa. He's recording SCIENCE NOTES for everyone, because you all care about SCIENCE, right? He grins excitedly ( Read more... )

[CLANG. Clatter. Something else is thrown.] --Y IS HE HERE[Rex is all in crazy supervillain mode right now. Even though he's not wearing any sort of modifier right now, his voice is so full of venom it's CLEARLY COBRA COMMANDERRRR MODE emerging after so many months of being pushed aside.] After everything the Joes did to ruin my plans, now I ( Read more... )

[HI. Rex-- er, Cobra Commander is currently standing atop the greenhouse, wielding a villainous remote control. Note that he's got guns on him, but he's a cartoon villain, so they fire 'energy', never seem to kill anybody, and always miss.]

Attention, muppetsss, puppetsss, mice and... Ugh. Whatever you areThisss ship is now under the control of ( Read more... )

Disregard everything that was said while I was under the influence of mistletoe. [Pause.] Especially the part about forgiveness. As the Barge has taught us, forgiveness is best left earned, rather than guaranteed. Grovelling would be a sufficient start.

( PRIVATE TO SANTA )

[Because supervillain transmissions always have to be in video form, you get a video of Rex COBRA COMMANDER standing on the deck, looking. Well. I'd say he looks smug, but you can't see his face. REST ASSURED, he is smug. And in his Cobra Commander costume, which is pretty cool except for... the mask. The stupid, stupid mask. Anyway, when he ( Read more... )

[So, what's Rex and Wichita been up to this evening? Why, Rex conned a nebulizer from the infirmary, and they got super high off some of Bill Murray's stash. So, the video cuts in with a fantastic close up of their faces, as Wichita's got his creepy mad scientist gear and ventilator on, and Rex has got the Cobra Commander hood which he was ( Read more... )

[Voice:]
Strange... There appears to be interference in my-- [LOL STATIC, SOME MORE STATIC, CUTS OUT.]

[VIDEO, transmitting live from the Terrordrome. Cartoon Cobra Commander up in heeeere.]
DESSSTRO! Come in, Destro! [He slams his fist on the controls, because he is an angry little man.] What is this, this... foolishness! Destro? Are you ( Read more... )

WICHITA! Come over and see my snake! You can help me name him.

[Pause. Oblivious to the fact that what he just said sounds kind of weird, then he begins to EXCITEDLY and drunkenly expound upon this.]

He's a Children's python! They're the world's, uhhh... SECOND smallest python! I think. Now-- and this is really fascinating-- the name comes ( Read more... )