i am just about out of ideas and out of willpower. the the window for me to freely leave this place is coming, and it is probably time for me to defenestrate ( Read more... )

hopefully, this will be the last thing i write about the war ( Read more... )

and i have no choice but to blame the Americans and their lawsuit fucking happy society...

I can't describe how much i fucking hate people like this. I really LOATHE THEM.

Hate inspiring drunk bitchShe should be fucking dead, and she shouldn't be fucking sueing anyone. She's wasting the genetic matter that was granted to her, and the air/food/ ( Read more... )

Shallow. Sooooo fucking shallow. Desperate to be seen, to be thought of as being seen. Makes whatever desperate connections to people just to be able to name drop them, and they are not even important enough to name drop - a prime time tv actor is someone you can name drop, a weirdo-hippy-student politician is not ( Read more... )

From Wednesday night
"It's good to be talking to you again, for what it's worth."
That's nice dear. I don't care. About you, about how nice you think it is talking to me.

From a couple of weeks ago...
"You sound like my ex-boyfriend."
"I am your ex-boyfriend."
"No, you're not. We weren't together long enough."
Whatever...

I lost the plot completely yesterday

3 red bulls, 1 large coffee and some fucking experimental jelly energy shot and i lost it.

I was barely able to control my phsyical shaking, i wanted to hit someone, and i wanted to scream.

As a consequence i am tired.

Not good.

Sigh.

I fell into a trough.

Four people have niggled me so far this morning. Eventhe presence of the tall and well spoken Anjuli has done little to pull me out of it.

SO why exactly tell me that she has a date on the weekend? What on earth would make anyone think that i would be the slightest bit fucking interested

One is happenstance
Twice is con-incidence
Three times in enemy action

Yes i'm fucking paranoid

Fuck you

IF she decides that she wants to restart the relationship then i will not stand for this bullshit again.

i keep myself busy to avoid the feelings of sorrow. Anything i can do to avoid it. That's dumb. I'll fish for CDs, i'll sleep, i'll watch tv, i'll sing, i'll write. Anything so that i don't consciously have to feel what my heart feels. The weight of a lost love ( Read more... )