Ever since i came home, I just felt like something was wrong.  Or that something was going to happen.

I even had this HUGE urge to call him when I came home but I managed to talk myself into not doing it... I kinda wish I had called now.

These long months apart are starting to really bring me down and I really hope he was serious ( Read more... )

Wow my month and a half at home has passed by quick. This is my last night in Fremont and then we’re all driving down to Vegas early tomorrow morning - with ME driving the first half of the leg! eek.

I’m not really sure how and where my time at home went. It really all does seem like a blur and that probably has something to do with the fact that I ( Read more... )

I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him.

Did I mention that I miss him?

The last few days have been a little rough and I’m not sure what triggered it; especially on his end, because I don’t think I’ve ever seen him like this before. And it really only has been about almost three weeks since we’ve had face-to-face cam time. But it certainly ( Read more... )

I’m excited about the possibility that he might be coming down next week to see me! I’m anxious to find out if he actually does because I would seriously be so ecstatically happy. It would be just what I need before the stress of finals and honestly, I just miss him and I have a “free” couple of days where I can probably enjoy myself a little bit. ( Read more... )

This visit... was... helpful.

Although it definitely didn't soothe all my fears and concerns, it helped me figure out that I'm willing to stick around for a little longer to see how things may pan out. Putting the last almost-five-years into perspective helped me get through the weekend and reminded me how genuinely happy he makes me (minus our ( Read more... )

He did it.

He booked a flight... leaving SFO at 6am and arriving in Vegas at 7:30am. Friggin early, but it's the only flight time left available for a reasonable price. But since he's leaving Saturday aftenoon, at least this will give us essentially two whole days together (Thursday & Friday) and before he leaves on Saturday, we can either spend ( Read more... )

I need his help to get through this.

I can't do this alone.

Help me turn this around.  Help me put this back in the right direction.

Help me rebuild what we have left.

I won't shut you out if you don't shut me out.

I can't do this alone.

Please work this out with me. Please help me make this right. It's not going to work with only one person ( Read more... )

I don't know how long I'll be able to go on. I don't know how long my doubt will last.. and I certainly don't know if it will grow stronger or weaker. Right now, I feel like I need to doubt everything you say. And I do.

But, I said one more time. One more try.

After that, I'm done. I will leave and I won't turn back.

If I ever feel that my doubts ( Read more... )

As much as I want to believe him, there's this huge DOUBT sign flashing in my head saying WATCH OUT, BEWARE, PROTECT YOURSELF, PROTECT YOUR HEART.

And that sign is so amazingly in the forefront of my thoughts...  so that whenever I don't/can't see him... I'm going to wonder.

I almost wish he had just cheated on me; or kissed another girl; or done ( Read more... )

Friggin bubblesticks. I miss Eric ( Read more... )