:: LV visit #2 ::
This visit... was... helpful.
Although it definitely didn't soothe all my fears and concerns, it helped me figure out that I'm willing to stick around for a little longer to see how things may pan out. Putting the last almost-five-years into perspective helped me get through the weekend and reminded me how genuinely happy he makes me (minus our current issues).
Thursday and Friday were two great days that we got to spend together, albeit extremely cold when we were out last night.
I just hope that he doesn't go home thinking that just because I'm "better" now after this visit that he can go back to his old ways. Quite the contrary. Even though he makes me happy, I'm not willing to go through all that pain again just for the sake of being happy. At that point, if it happened again, the amount of times I've been hurt would overshadow anything I feel or want for the future.
So although this Valentine's wasn't exactly how I imagined it feeling or being (for the first time in three years, no flowers... =( ), considering the circumstances, the distance, the heartache and trouble, this visit resolved quite a few numbers of things. And that's all I needed.
I needed to see him to get that feeling back. That feeling of committment, understanding, devotion, respect, longing, love etc.
And for the most part, I got that back.
_