Conversations in my house

[seryan]

Me: Well, I have no idea how the mustard teleported in there, but think about it: have you seen me leave the kitchen or living room since I handled the mustard pickles?
Steve: Well, there was that brief period where I was unconscious and thought I was being abducted by aliens.
Me: That happens every time you blink.
Steve: Huh. ... OH MY GOD IT HAPPENED AGAIN!