( possible trigger warning )

It was my mom's birthday yesterday. Everyone got her great gifts except me because I don't have a lot of money and I don't have the time required to finish painting her gift. Everyone pretty much ignored me anyway, not engaging me in conversation and such, until it was time to clean up - then they couldn't engage me enough to clean up the mess. I ( Read more... )

I hate feeling unreal when i dissociate/depersonalize/derealize (whatever the fuck it's called!) but despite how unreal i feel, i am still aware of the world around me. I guess what i am trying to say is that i still acknowledge and understand reality even if i do not feel apart of it sometimes ( Read more... )

( my floaty weekend - may be triggering? )

Was at the doctor's the other day and they increased my medication yet again. It frustrates the heck out of me because it's not going to get rid of all the bad memories that contribute to my depression and ptsd. Supposedly the meds are supposed to help control my mood swings, but all of my raging and constantly fluctuating emotions are on the ( Read more... )

My internet has been reconnected and i'm glad that it didn't take as long as i thought it would. I seriously think that i am addicted to the internet because it's my only social network. It was less than a week without the net and i though i was going to go crazy. I was alone with my own dark thoughts and there isn't much scarier than that for me ( Read more... )