me: *offers Ingrid some chocolate*

Ingrid: NO! I WANT SUCKER!

me: I don't have a sucker.

Ingrid: I'M GONNA THROW OUT THE WINDOW!

me: you're gonna throw my chocolate out the window?

Ingrid: NO!

me: what are you throwing out the window?

Ingrid: YOU!

Linus and Dietrich have found two empty pizza boxes, and turned them into laptops, drawing buttons for the keyboard, etc.

then Linus said, "I'm pretending my girlfriend is on here." I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE HE GOT AN IDEA LIKE THAT.

"I just proved my own point by completely failing to make it." (it being his point)

--my little brother, obviously.

Dietrich: *flails around a full bottle of salad dressing like he's trying to hit someone with it*

me: "that is NOT a weapon!"

Dietrich: "I'm weppin' BAD GUYS!"

"are you dad, mom?"

"uhh... no."

"are you mom?"

"yeah."

"oh."

my mom: "...and one of these days I still need to count all the sheets on a thousand-sheet roll of toilet paper. I bet they're only giving us 900." I think she was serious.

chris: (after D took off his diaper and jumped on L). "I know the greeks thought it was fun to wrestle naked, but you need a diaper. come here."

Dietrich (22 months old, if you remember) comes running into the kitchen with a wooden wrench and a wooden screwdriver. and says:

"I got TOOLS mommy. I wanna make a CAKE."

"Leading experts recommend having at least 2 or 3 mini techno parties every day."

"mom, when am I gonna be 5?"

"not for a long time."

"before my next birthday?"

"the cat is the only person around here who doesn't say something retarded every 5 minutes."

...oh, good. at least he's including himself in there!