Autumn tumbles down upon my home with sinister chills that precede the invasion of the mouse brigade, come to cause me eeks of shrieks while they scamper in rodent glory across the kitchen floor. There have been but two rodent scouts sent into my abode but I fear more, masses of them, since breeding conditions have been "bello!" and "perfecto!" for ( Read more... )

I am not in contact with many of my relatives in Kentucky. No doubt this occurs because my maternal grandmother and her siblings hightailed it out of there after World War Two for Ohio where their hardcore Baptists elders would not scold them for dancing, drinking, gambling, and smoking; no wonder my grandmother thought Catholicism was liberating! ( Read more... )

I was waiting in line at the café next door to my work when the prepossessing young lady in front of me was asking the baristas questions like "What's espresso?" and "What's a caramocha?" This young lady was in her mid-twenties like me, but how in the universe was she ignorant of what are mochas, lattés, and frappuccinos? I was inclined to shout, " ( Read more... )

I got a nice ole car insurance notice that says, "Your premium's going up fo'!" So, it's going up, but why? Really, I haven't done anything. It's true! The notice says "THE CONSUMER REPORTING AGENCY DID NOT MAKE THE DECISION REGARDING YOUR PREMIUM AND IS UNABLE TO PROVIDE SPECIFIC REASONS WHY THE ACTION WAS TAKEN." And then I say "WTF?!" Make that ( Read more... )

Three weerks ago my daily dose of mood-up medication lowered, but did this affect me? I am unsure. The last two weeks I have been listless in the sense I have been extraordinarily tired; I needed to sleep at least twelve hours per day or else. Dude, I was like so mellowed out as if I was like smoking some serious dubbers man. Then I did nothing for ( Read more... )

<--Insert Multiple Expletives Here.--> As blesséd as my new harddrive has proven itself to be, it has proven to be as curséd. I have beheld the latest and greatest in Windows, Vista!Alas, it is not compatible with the programming of my printer which is designed for that which now be deemed obsolete: XP. Woe am I and woe is me, so whatever shall I ( Read more... )

As slashers and their slashy fandoms flee from LiveJournal, I wonder if they are being reactionary. Reactionaries are associated with being conservative, therefore proponents of traditionalism. Then, are slashers conservative? In general, would they not loathe the label, associating it with that devil acronym WASP ( Read more... )

The Twin Cities has had its bridge catastrophe overglamourized by that Media which adores exaggeration. All the news analysts speak of the bridge collapse rising infrastructure questions, but that will be on the national conscience until Britney Spears distracts us again. Of course, some will say I demean the event that has wide implications for ( Read more... )

It is possible that the mystery rash afflicting my torso has been solved by my hypochondriac sister. She, who has reason to be paranoid, has had several skin conditions that cause more capsules to be added to her morning medical cocktail, and now she can enjoy dispensing her medical advice to me. What I have, according to her, is Pityriasis rosea, ( Read more... )

Ah, curse you Mr Computer! I don't know what's wrong with you, but you're uploading as slow as you did in the Dial-up Days. My Internet patience isn't as slow as it use to be, and my patience with your "technical difficulties" dwindles. I changed your lithium battery, but you still can't tell time; you think it's 2002 whenever I turn you on. I'm so ( Read more... )