so I started playing the "Rent" soundtrack only because I wanted to hear "La Vie Boheme" but it ended up making me feel shitty because on today, on this day, all the songs remind me of Mikael. I played my "favorite songs" playlist on my iPod and 90% of the songs on there are considered favorite songs because of Mikael. I couldn't sleep last night ( Read more... )

i really hate that i really like that song. it's so easy. "i'm hot cuz i'm fly, you ain't cuz you not... this is why, this is why, this is why i'm hot." i mean seriously? really? those are the lyrics you chose? but still. it comes on everyday while i'm driving home so I can't help but pick it up ( Read more... )

aww, can you say boo hoo? Jamiah just told me that we didn't get the Windsor apartment that we wanted so badly. Someone else handed in an application before we did so they had to give it to them. I'm praying that the other people will find another place, or back out, something of the sort. I'm not going to give up though, I have faith we'll find an ( Read more... )

The Will and Grace series finale is depressing me a little. I sort of thought it would. it's just a reminder that my Will is never coming back ( Read more... )

i had the best dream ever last night. it was about Mikael. We were somewhere, like in someone's den or basement just watching tv and being stupid and talking and laughing. nothing particularly special. it was so great. I had forgotten he was actually gone. I was telling him about things that were going on in my life, annoyances I had, people I was ( Read more... )

Through the grace of God I've made it through another week without going crazy. When that little girl stepped into my office, things really did look up. The next 3 days, for the most part, were great at work. I even helped some people and I was so busy today that I barely even lj'ed or myspaced. It was pretty good ( Read more... )

this week is never ending. i'm aware that it's tuesday ( Read more... )

i'm sorry for anyone who might try to call me today but I think I'm going to turn off my phone after work. I just need a day off from this and everytime I pick up the phone it's someone asking me "are you ok? are you ok?" and then when I think someone's going to talk about anything OTHER than this they want me to explain. "What really happened? ( Read more... )

I've been having freaky dreams when I do get to sleep. In between the ones that didn't make sense, I had a sex dream about a co-worker whom I'm not even attracted to ( Read more... )

thanks for all your kind words. here's a link to the story ( Read more... )