I start taking Rudy Rucker’s, class today. It is at a lousy time, 4PM ( Read more... )

Today I am getting it together a bit, though the day did not start that way. I planned to work at home this morning but instead fucked around playing Internet spades from 6 to 8 AM. I decided that I would go into work because that was sure to be more productive but I had to go by UPS after 9AM. So at 8AM I was getting ready to take a shower. I ( Read more... )

It feels like it. She is so distant, and I cannot seem to reach her to make any contact. I can’t imagine what it is like to want distance like that. Even when I knew I wanted out of a relationship I never felt that kind of distance. When I left my first wife I had to learn to keep a great distance because she would violate my boundaries. I am ( Read more... )

In this blog, I am striving to be real and interesting at the same time. I reveal much about my life and my struggles but really so much is not put into words ( Read more... )

This morning, the day after Father’s Day, I feel anxiety. I have not been writing for more than a week so if feels hard to start again because there is so much I want to catch my mythical reader up on. So, what has been happening? Only a list will do.

I no longer have my full-time job
I am working on a contract
I may be going to Florida ( Read more... )

Today my body is aching. This happens sometimes. I’m not sure why. It might be some allergic response. It saps my energy. I will take a nap in a little while and then hopefully have the energy to work into the night ( Read more... )

I feel it coming up right now. I am loaded with uncertainty at the moment. I am about to call into a conference call that represents the real start of the new contract, but it is not quite a done deal, and I don’t know how many hours I will get from it. They will pay at a good rate, but there is some possibility I will need to go get some ( Read more... )

Let me set the stage. My daughter came to me last night in tears. “I don’t want you and mommy to get a divorce.” Her mother angry with me had said something about divorce to her. There had been a painful dialog between mother and daughter about telling lies. I had intervened, a real no-no, by asking my daughter if she was afraid. When I did ( Read more... )

My daughter got a B+ on here science project. That is fucking great! I feel the space opening to allow her complete freedom to drive her life. I will stand and watch as audience and mentor.

r.slime

4 AM, I’ve been working most of the night ( Read more... )