Hansel & Gretel: the Folgers Commercial with more blood and less coffee
(titled stolen from a tumblr post, my bad!)
HI! SORRY! I JUST! I WILL BE BETTER! AT POSTING! YES!
But oh maaaan Hansel & Gretel.
Let me be clear, this is not a movie that is going to go down in the history books for being critically acclaimed. But it is so unapologetically ITSELF, EXACTLY WHAT IT WANTS TO BE, that I promise you will enjoy it if only you will give it a chaaaance.
ALSO it's pretty much Sam/Dean with more touching. I WANT FIC. I CAN'T GET FIC FROM YOU UNLESS YOU SEE THE MOVIE.*
I was laughing a lot more than I expected to, especially at the gore? Like. Seriously, if you've seen The Brothers Grimm with Heath Ledger and Matt Damon--this is the exaaaact same style, but they gave it an R rating so the director threw his arms in the air and went, "GORE! ALL THE GORE! AND NAKED LADY BUTT LET'S HAVE A NAKED LADY BUTT! AND CUSSING, FUCK YEAH! BUT MOSTLY GORE! \O/" Soooo much fun, you could just tell everyone was having so much fun.
Gretel was fucking BADASS. Absofuckinglutely at the head of their relationship--I mean at one point, Hansel is sleeping on the floor beside her bed, I just. Did they not have two beds in the village? Could they not share? Does he hate beds? OR WAS IT A CLEVER PLOY TO MELT MY HEART AND ILLUSTRATE THEIR CODEPENDENT SIBLING DYNAMICS. (jfc that scene, hands down my favorite. When she reaches for him her hand lands on his leg until he pulls it closer to his chest and folds his arms across it, aaaaaaaalkadsjf. All of their easy touching, completely familiar with each other. Even from a non-shipping standpoint, it was flawless and beautiful)
Let's see, what else? I'm pretty sure the people who designed the evil witches are huge Adam Lambert fans, tbh. But they were awesome, so it's not even a complaint!
*I would also absolutely fall for a Sam/Dean AU of this, oh my fucking god, so hard, i want it i need it oh baby oh baby