i've figured things out. i guess that's quite the start. let's see... andii always my best friend and never anything else; we both know that and i'm soooo ok with that ( Read more... )

there's been alot going on ( Read more... )

so jeff and i are in an "open relationship". him and crystal are finished. he has made that perfectly clear to her. he's admitted that neither of us can be anything close to apart from each other and that if it's ever gonna be totally over it'd gonna be me that ends all of it... we still split all of our bills. still bang and mess around on a ( Read more... )

i really don't know what i'm gonna do. i'm tired of hurting. i'm tired of not being able to do anything. how the fuck does she just invite herslef in my house. it's really getting on my last nerve. i'm trying to be nice at this point and just leave the room when she comes around. that way he doesn't fell like i'm disrespecting her by being short ( Read more... )

last night and this morning were like old times between us. i guess this is ok for now. God knows i want so much more for us. but that won't happen. at least not now anyway. i want to just grab him and say looky here white boy.. i'm ur i always have been and ur mine. u said it yourself.... all roads lead to me. and if that's the case u should've ( Read more... )

crystal finally made up her mind as to what she was gonna do with her and jeff. she's gonna stay with her boyfriend. i guess i'm kinda happy about that but it would've been nice for him if he could've been happy with her. that would've eventually made me happy too i guess even though i despise her. so last night right after she told him no he ( Read more... )

day 8 alone and i'm not exactly sure what i'm gonna do.. it's very difficult to try to make plans for when we go our separate ways. trying to imagine my life without jeff around at all isn't getting any easier. the material things aren't too difficult. our animals are gonna go with him. i got him the ferrets and the cats. even my cat is going with ( Read more... )

IF THIS HEART WOULD CEASE TO BEAT ( Read more... )

i'm single now. it's rough because there's already someone after him. and i know he might want to test the waters. they'd been writing letters to each other for a couple weeks. she still has a boyfriend though. and they haven't done anything other than hug. that kinda makes me feel better but not much. he says that with all the problems we were ( Read more... )

i work at dunkin donuts now. that's cool. all the coffee i can handle. took a major pay cut though. i need to get another job.. this one isn't gonna make enough money so that i can pay all my bills AND live pretty comfy. probably an overnite job. i need to put some money away. just in case of anything. maybe a trip to jersey so i can see my family ( Read more... )