what am i supposed to do now?
there's been alot going on....
jeff and i are together, again. the separation only lasted 2 months. i'm pretty stoked about that. i'm worried though; am i doing the right thing? waaay too much goin on upstairs. i think andy might be on the brink of leaving patty... or i could be reading too much into the situation. i hope that i am because if he does go he's coming back for me. he already said that he was gonna make one phone call... and it was gonna be to me. and we would most certainly pick up where we left off. that could be bad for jeff and i....
then let's see. i have feelings for mike... mike and i almost ended up together until jeff was honest with me about the way that he still felt about me... he really wants to get married. i get insanely jealous whenever i even think about another woman being with him... wtf!!! i can't have my cake and eat it too...i know that but i don't know what to do... i wanna marry jeff... hell. this morning i was so excited about it. now i'm worried that he may not be the one that i wanna wake up to for the rest of our lives. what the fuck is wrong with me? picturing myself not with him. having someone else's kids, marrying someone else, dreaming about this shit on a regular basis. i gotta get my head straight. i can't do this to him... even if he's done it to me quite a few times. it's still not ok. and i'm too scared that if i do make the decision to go and see if happiness is elsewhere, that i won't be able to get him back ever, not even as a friend.......
jeff and i are together, again. the separation only lasted 2 months. i'm pretty stoked about that. i'm worried though; am i doing the right thing? waaay too much goin on upstairs. i think andy might be on the brink of leaving patty... or i could be reading too much into the situation. i hope that i am because if he does go he's coming back for me. he already said that he was gonna make one phone call... and it was gonna be to me. and we would most certainly pick up where we left off. that could be bad for jeff and i....
then let's see. i have feelings for mike... mike and i almost ended up together until jeff was honest with me about the way that he still felt about me... he really wants to get married. i get insanely jealous whenever i even think about another woman being with him... wtf!!! i can't have my cake and eat it too...i know that but i don't know what to do... i wanna marry jeff... hell. this morning i was so excited about it. now i'm worried that he may not be the one that i wanna wake up to for the rest of our lives. what the fuck is wrong with me? picturing myself not with him. having someone else's kids, marrying someone else, dreaming about this shit on a regular basis. i gotta get my head straight. i can't do this to him... even if he's done it to me quite a few times. it's still not ok. and i'm too scared that if i do make the decision to go and see if happiness is elsewhere, that i won't be able to get him back ever, not even as a friend.......