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...in which I am covered in material wealth.
It's the day after Christmas and I am suddenly rich. I am now the proud owner of a toaster, which is terribly exciting. I never eat sandwiches at home anymore 'cause I ahve been unable to toast the bread, but now I can toast to my little heart's content. The toaster was from my lovely sister Debby, who I promise to be more fond of in the future.
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...in which, okay, can we be done now?
Remember how pissed off I was about the movie being made here all summer? Remember all the complaining I did, that they were killing me with traffic, that they were filming too close to my apartment, that if I heard Matthew McWhatever's name again I was gonna scream?
Well, I got over all that. After seeing the trailer I decided that maybe I was ( Read more... ) -
...in which there are three things I know for sure.
1. Steve Reed is a big pansy.
2. The Marx Brothers are absolute geniuses.
3. Hope springs eternal in the human heart, or at least in my own.
That's it. I'm going to bed. -
...in which I have discovered the perfect food.
I have, in my possession, the finest food on Earth. It's the Caribou Coffee brand chewy granola bars, and they're made with coffee beans. That's right, for those of you like me who are too lazy to make your own coffee, you can now EAT COFFEE BEANS.
The bars come in Chocolate Mocha, which is very good, and Vanilla Latte, which is absolutely ( Read more... ) -
...in which Reed just about kills me and Sarah.
Reed tried to tell us a joke last night.
I don't remember the context, but he and I and Sarah had already been laughing like drunken fools (which, you know...). And he said, “I'm gonna tell you guys a joke.”
“Okay,” I said.
“This isn't a very nice joke.”
“That's okay, baby. Tell it.”
“Probably both of you will be mad at me for this joke.”
“We won't ( Read more... ) -
...in which, no, once again, you have failed to realize that it's all about ME.
Sarah says she needs to put minutes on her phone so that, when Reed wants to call someone that he shouldn't be calling, he can call her instead.
I think Sarah needs to put minutes on her phone so that, when I'm done smoking, I can call her to come let me back into the Study Center. -
...in which I wrestle with realism and declare myself the winner.
You know what I hate? Well, that's a lot to ask, really. Lemme rephrase that question. Do you know what item #17846 is on my hate inventory? It's semi-realism in movies.
I don't object to realism. I'm not a huge fan of it, of course...after all, my favorite movies are zombie movies. Realism, however, is okay. But incomplete, half-assed ( Read more... )
