I attended the VNV Nation concert tonight (August 23, 2017). Ashlie had originally agreed to join me, but due to lack of a babysitter and personal issues she cancelled at the last minute. What to do with this extra ticket then, I wondered? I didn't feel like I knew many people into VNV that weren't already going, but pondering the question soon ( Read more... )

I regret not keeping a journal in my youth, because I've learned that memories are our most valuable asset. I created my LiveJournal on 2003-01-13 and have kept a detailed record of events since then. Lately I've fallen behind - I'm as busy as ever, and I've had a lot on my mind. When the wheels are turning hard, sometimes I feel overwhelmed and I' ( Read more... )

( Understanding Tosha. )

I threw a party at my pad to prepare for Philter. I cooked up a few vials of ketamine to save for Saturday. I ate mushrooms and ecstasy. This was my first time hippie-flipping and my expectations were high. I wasn't let down in the least. My mind and body soared to an alternate realm of existence. I felt like a marshmellow, melting into position ( Read more... )

I haven't written much lately. I haven't really felt like sharing. It seems I've raised the bar on what qualifies as “significant enough to record”. Should I entertain every small detail, or reserve this space for life altering events? It seems the less I write, the more I'd have to explain for the present to make sense, and without time to recap, ( Read more... )

( . . . Waking Up Beside You . . . )

I hate the fact that LiveJournal is a forum through which bulletins or advertisements are posted - but I suppose this is obligatory. So here's the short and sweet public version: Ashlie and I broke up. I don't have the heart or energy to explain. I will save it for a time when I have found something positive to say. Goodnight.

( . . . Wicked Game . . . )

My serotonin levels are slowly rebuilding from this weekend's events. For now I am drained, and am left with little energy and much to contemplate. My birthday was on Monday. I have now officially been alive for 22 years ( Read more... )

Before she moved to Wisconsin, Ashlie left a shirt at my house. When she visited, I forgot to give it back, and I still had it when she told me to “forget about her”. Unfortunately, her abuse cycle psychosis led to a point of no return, where I was no longer able to assist. Knowing and accepting my failure, I withdrew ( Read more... )

( . . . Farewell . . . )