The legacy of a father moves on to his son as he passes on into the next world... I hope you find the peace you never found in life. It has been ugly watching you disintegrate before my very eyes, but I can only imagine how you feel. I wish you could still communicate so that we could have a proper good-bye. I guess life is full of unfinished ( Read more... )

I woke up yesterday morning with the vivid memory of a dream. Most of it seemed unremarkable, but I remembered an acquaintance from school, Lynae, making an appearance. It was her, but in the dream she was an actress. I saw her in class later and approached her about it. She looked surprised and said that she had just landed two acting gigs. I had ( Read more... )

It's late. I'm sitting here reading through journal entries written years ago by people I sometimes wonder about. These were the "troubled" ones. I wonder if they got locked up too. If they got hurt, maybe. If they're even still alive. I wonder if maybe they were just tired of this life and decided to leave it behind. Figuratively or literally. I ( Read more... )

( Venting thoughts on drinking and relationships. )

Sometimes my transition back to the free world seems so complete as to be seamless, and then I am reminded of my misdeeds by what stings like a slap in the face. I understand that there are people from my old life who may never welcome me back into their circles... people that I love that keep me far from sight. I understand that I have been ( Read more... )

I'm sitting at my brother's apartment catching up on all the music I've missed, and tuning into old favorites. Oh, industrial, how I've missed you ( Read more... )

I woke up in a portrait of chaos that could not be real. Surely this was one of my twisted HR Geiger-esque dreams, filled with shadowy, grotesque metallic tubes, piping, and chrome-plated metallic vents; tunnels leading to worlds unknown. But no, cogent awareness sequentially began to take hold as the dream-world unraveled into a sick and confusing ( Read more... )

( 2006-02-28 (Tuesday) - Coincidences )

I'm fresh out of surgery and the local anesthetic still hasn't worn off. Both teeth were on the right side of my mouth, which is now very swollen. I've strapped an ice pack to the side of my face and set my watch timer for 30 minutes. Doctor says 30 minutes on, 30 minutes off for the next 48 hours. I've been prescribed Roxicet for pain. I think I'm ( Read more... )

I really need something to focus on right now. I'm falling apart at the seams. I have never cried so hard, for so long, in my life. I've forsaken my vices and refuse to fall back into them simply for an escape. There's a maelstrom of thoughts in my mind, and not one that I'm ready to face ( Read more... )