Sometimes I think maybe my whole life will be a series of situations in which I did not do enough, that I did less than I should have. And I don't think I'm ever going to learn.

I am probably going to punch the next person who complains about life being unfair, who complains about bad things happening to them, geez, like it is some unholy thing ( Read more... )

I'm not sure I've felt this miserable in a while, nor have I felt it necessary to express it in such a way as I've reverted to. I want to say that there's not really anyone I can talk to about this, but there is. But as much as I want to vent, it's so draining, the trust in another person to keep my words to themselves, to not judge me, to even ( Read more... )

I am feeling much better, for the most part. Cried a little to Jeremy, got some reassurance from him and others. Talked to Alex from Atsuicon on AIM, who is super wise, cool, and has a crazy last name (it's "Ng", and if I hadn't seen it on his college ID card, I'd think he was pulling my leg), and we talked about art a lot ( Read more... )

A post I meant to make a while ago:
This excites me.
Also check out the Cacophony Society. Or the official website. A notable member: chuck Palahniuk, author of Fight Club. The Cacophony Society was the basis for Project Mayhem ( Read more... )

I hate reading previous journal posts and finding typos. I also hate realizing that I left something out because it was in my head so well, I forgot to type it up. And that my metaphors for life have holes in them that I am blind to. I'm not sure I made it very obvious what I meant with the waking up and the band thing. I mean, it was crystal clear ( Read more... )

But there never seems to be enough time or memory.

I just finished I Am The Messenger by Marcus Zusak. Young adult-ish, with lots of sex and swearing, but I liked it. Well, I didn't like the erratically pseudo-poetic style much, and I kind of hated the ending. But so much of it perfectly embodied the way I perceive humanity and reality. How ( Read more... )