My mom told me not to burn bridges. It's hard. All I want to do is never see him again. I meant to talk to him again before deciding how I feel, but I know how I want to feel. I want to hate him. I want to believe he's never going to date me again. I want to believe he's just going to get back together with that psycho bitch of an ex of his. I don' ( Read more... )

I can only assume that the only way to make people like me is to be a completely insane bitch. It seems to be working for a whole lot of people. That, or be a completely amazing dancer.
I don't think I can be either of those.

I guess I've been depressed. I didn't even really notice for a while, and then I realized, hey, I think I'm depressed again.
I mean, maybe it's just hormones. I'm also eating uncontrollably and having mood swings.
I hate being a girl.
God I just. Hate so much right now. Everything is like it never was before, seems like. I'm just freaked out. I

I have had such discouraging dreams. I dreamed the boy I like but haven't seen in months turned out to be married, I dreamed that someone in the irc channel I go to told me he hates me and to leave and never come back, and I dreamed that someone told me I had put on a little weight. I guess this is what I need, or what I think I need. It's true ( Read more... )

Hanging out at a social place by yourself is just depressing. I am at Spider House, sitting in a corner, ljing and playing tetris on my phone. Ugh.
I can't wait to be skinny. I'd rather be The Weird Girl By Herself than The Weird Fat Girl Or Maybe It's A Guy By Her(Him?)self. No matter what happens or what anyone says, this is how I see myself. ( Read more... )

I wonder if I should start taking antidepressants again. I still have plenty from the last time I was supposed to start on them again, since I only took one or two before giving up. But then I think no, I can't afford to keep taking them when those run out. It's not like they work anyways ( Read more... )

Man how did I never notice that this is one of the best songs that has ever happened to me. Carla Bozulich, your voice is distinct and fills me with pleasure.

Next week is gonna rockI'm pretty excited about life in general. Work is pretty consistently unpleasant lately, but I have some really wonderful people in my life right now. Not really ( Read more... )

Pretty much everything has contributed to this being just about one of the worst days ever.
Why does this freak me out so much, why am I crying.

Yesterday was just a terrible day. Couldn't think or do anything right at work (where we were way understaffed but somehow managed not to die), got into an argument with Natasha that still gets to me if I think about it too long, and. Everything was just generally depressing and difficult. I'm hoping today will be better. I got a ton of sleep, I ( Read more... )

No song makes me cry and feel sorry for myself like this one does.

I feel like I am about ready to just give up on trying to care about people.