A friend died this weekend. Not a good friend, but a friend. And her daughter posted on facebook this morning "I don't know how to live without my mom". Suddenly, I'm standing at the foot of my mom's hospital bed, sobbing on my dad's shoulder as she takes her last few gasps of life and I say, "I don't know how to live in a world without my mom ( Read more... )

It was three years ago today that we lost you. In some ways I can’t believe it’s been three years already and in others I swear I have felt every single minute of these years down to my bones. In this case time has been a healer though, because while I still think of you every day I do so now without as much pain. But while time has taken the ( Read more... )

Tonight I sat down with a CD your friend from work gave me shortly after you died. I haven't had the heart to go through it since your death, because I knew it was going to be extremely emotional for me ( Read more... )

Written by my Grandma Barr on February 18, 2003.

Without a Mother

Without a mother
one needs so much

And no other gives such a
gentle touch,

There's others who try to
fill the gap,

But nothing takes the place of
a mother's lap.

The role that God has given
to be a mother -
Can never be filled by another.

As one looks back over
the years,

You are ( Read more... )

Well, I have officially survived my first year without you. The first anniversary of your death was Saturday. I remember telling at the hospital last year that Dad I didn't know how to exist in a world that doesn't have you in it, and to be honest I still don't. I don't know how, but somehow I am. I guess it comes with the territory of waking ( Read more... )

I took Jessica out for "a drink" tonight in celebration of her passing her occupational therapy licensing exam and it struck me how glad I am to have her back in my life after all these years. And then it struck me how almost all the closest women in my life right now are women from my childhood. I think it says something about the purity of ( Read more... )

Josh fell down the stairs and re-injured his bad knee last night. I only bring this up because it reminded me of the time we went to visit him in the hospital after he had surgery on that knee about 10 years ago ( Read more... )

Wherever you are, I wanted to wish you a Happy Mother's Day. I'll never forget last year, having lunch just you, Josh and I.  You were so happy, and seemingly so healthy.  How could we have known that in 2 short months you'd be gone from us forever?  How does that even happen?


( Read more... )

Okay! Good, because I want to talk about it ( Read more... )

I had a really bad day yesterday, and as I was driving to school (because why not end a terrible day with algebra??) I had an urge to call you that was so strong my hand actually went for my phone before I realized what I was doing. It was one of those days where I needed to talk to you, not because there was anything specific wrong, but because ( Read more... )