Obscurity
Pairing: Ennis/Jack
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17 (Warning: violence !)
Summary: AU_AU. This is a story about fear, uncertainty and doubt but also about friendship and love. Ennis and Jack meet each other in the modern time.
Dedication: This story is dedicated to my German beta tanzmaeusi, who encouraged me to write this story. I also want to thank judy-blue-cat who helped me to understand the US-postal service and who also helped me to find the most suitable name for the city where this story takes place.
But tizi17 is the one you should thank the most if you like this story because she is the one who translates it. My special thank is dedicated to poppyhoney_67. She's our second native speaker besides Judy who is willing to help us catching the remaining errors. Thank you all !!
Feedback: Please !! It keeps all of us motivated...
* * *
Prologue: http://mel0804.livejournal.com/37179.html
1 Steel City: http://mel0804.livejournal.com/38777.html
2 Rust Town: http://mel0804.livejournal.com/46005.html
3 Iron District (part 1): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/51964.html
3 Iron District (part 2): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/52662.html
4 17, Allegheny Street, Rust Town (part 1): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/58027.html
4 17, Allegheny Street, Rust Town (part 1): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/58380.html
5 13, Monongahela Alley; Iron District (part 1): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/62609.html
5 13, Monongahela Alley; Iron District (part 2): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/63302.html
6 Jack Twist, 13, Monongahela Alley, Iron District (part 1): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/65673.html
6 Jack Twist, 13, Monongahela Alley, Iron District (part 2): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/68323.html
6
Jack Twist, 13, Monongahela Alley, Iron District (part 3):
"They stare at me Ennis"
"They stare at US, if they even do."
"I hate it. Why do people gawk if someone is different huh?"
"Jack, people see what they want to see. Nobody's interested in who you really are. They just see your defect and that's what diverts them."
"Divert from what?"
"From themselves. They got somebody else to talk about and to feel sorry for."
"Shit! I don't want nobody to feel sorry for me. That... that was a damn stupid idea to come here. I... I want to leave, Ennis..."
"You want them to win? You want to give those fuckers the feeling they had power over you?"
Ennis looked seriously into Jack's eyes and wished he would feel the sureness he tried to imply on Jack. In reality he felt like running away. His heart raced and his fingers were ice cold and bathed in sweat.
He didn't feel well among people. It gave him the irritating feeling to be different, not to be part of them. But he sensed that it had to be even worse for Jack right now. He writhed not only internally but also wore the hunted expression of a chased animal on his face which rose a deep rage in Ennis towards everyone standing around them and gawking more or less subtle. A consuming wish to protect Jack welled up in him.
And for the first time in his life he put his sensitivities behind him and he wanted to be strong for the man beside him who needed him and relied on his assurance.
"Fuck them... fuck everyone, Jack", he whispered into Jack's ear and both remembered the evening a few days ago.
Jack looked at him with glazed eyes and nodded bravely. "Ok", he whispered hoarsely. "I... I'm sorry Ennis. I didn't want to... I'm just so fed up with this... I wish we had met five years ago..."
"I guess five years ago you wouldn't have so much as even looked at me", Ennis mumbled and a bitter undertone swung with his voice.
"Don't say that", Jack answered quietly and leaned lightly towards Ennis' body. "You cast a poor light on me", he added and looked at him, grinning.
Ennis laughed silently. "You're right", he admitted and suddenly felt so light headed. "So, Jack, introduce me to the fascination of cinema..."
And Jack really didn't need to be told twice. Already on the drive to the cinema he could barely hide his excitement, and now he told Ennis about when he was last time at the movies and which film he had seen. And he confided in Ennis that his biggest dream as a child had been to once shake Superman's hand and be able to touch his emblem on his chest. Ennis listened. Astonished and amazed, he saw what changes appeared in Jack. He gleamed from inside, his face a blaze of enthusiasm and he spread the charm of childlike excitement that thrilled Ennis and carried him away, and he caught himself having the feeling to be with Jack at the beginning of a wonderful adventure.
"Why do you like the movies so much, Jack?" Ennis wanted to know curiously as Jack had to catch his breath in-between.
"Why?" Jack looked at him with wide eyes. "Because... Ennis, there's no better place to escape from the world. This big screen, the sound, the actors - everything seems so real and so... ohh Ennis, come here... come back here a minute...," he called after Ennis who was walking slowly towards the cinema hall.
Ennis turned around and came back. "What?"
"Get us a big bucket of pop corn - that goes with the movies. Money's in my back pocket, it's on me... Come on Ennis, let me pay for it - you brought me here..."
Jack looked pleading at Ennis who wanted to take his own money. "I would have brought you anyway", he mumbled offended. "No need to pay for me..."
"Please Ennis don't make it difficult for me. I... I can't return the favour by driving you somewhere the next time...," Jack said quietly and angled towards Ennis' wallet.
Ennis looked up and saw in Jack's eyes how important it was to him to be able to invite Ennis, and he gave in. "Ok," he mumbled quietly. "Where did you say your money was?"
"In my back pocket... Wait..."
Jack tried to fetch the wallet from his pocket in the back and at the same time lean on the crutches but he failed. Cursing softly he swayed and Ennis held him.
"Easy my friend," he quietly mumbled in Jack's ear and grabbed the wallet unerringly out of his pocket.
Both men froze for a split second as their bodies touched, and as Ennis pulled out the wallet from Jack's back pocket for a moment he pressed his hand onto Jack's bottom cheek. He heard Jack take a sharp breath and smiled shyly at him.
"So you want popcorn, right?" he asked with rough voice. Jack nodded and looked wordless after him as he walked to the stall.
A tall grown man, slender nearly lanky, with dark blonde locks that felt so velvety under his hands. Broad shoulders with strong arms that caught him so many times - and to Jack it seemed that very moment that no movie in the world could mirror better a projection of his personal hero.
He had found his Superman.
+ + +
A few hours later Ennis stopped in front of Jack's door and stalled the spluttering engine.
It was deathly quiet.
Softly some first snowflakes swayed through the grey night and settled down on the landscape as white filigree dots.
Everything seemed so peaceful and yet shivers were running down Ennis' spine.
He felt as if an icy hand would grab him.
It had been in one of those nights - a night that should have been so peaceful, a night were Nature started its hibernation and gathered strength for the new beginning in Spring - as three brutal men destroyed Jack's life in a few minutes.
The life of a man that was sleeping quietly in his lap and whose sleep released him from his pain for some merciful moment.
And Ennis knew this very moment that he would never be able again to watch the falling snowflakes with a sense of quiet and peace.
It had been years since he had consciously lived the beginning of winter. During the last years the changing of season had passed him unnoticed, and he only knew about it when doing his lonely tour around the deserted blocks either sweating or freezing.
He had long given up checking on the weather. Since he had to leave his parents' ranch atmospheric conditions were little more than an inconvenient side effect. It didn't decide over his or his animals' existence any more.
But this night everything was different.
The evening at the movies had been a very impressive experience for him. He couldn't even remember which film they had seen. The actors weren't known to him and sometimes it was hard for him to follow the story line - but that didn't matter.
He enjoyed the sensual experience of colours and music. No comparison to his derelict tube - even Jack's TV set couldn't stand the pace, he thought astonished.
And during the entire film he sat near Jack, shared his excitement, quietly laughed at his mumbled comments he couldn't even suppress at the most thrilling moments; and as Jack's remarks sounded more suppressed and he began to fidget around on his seat, he took him in his arms, supported his body, felt his heart beat, nuzzled into Jack's hair and thought that this was by far the best evening he had ever had.
On their way home Jack was quiet and pale and Ennis sensed that he was in pain from that long sitting. He wordlessly patted his lap. Jack followed the mute invitation, put his head on Ennis' right thigh and stretched out his legs as well as possible on the seat.
Ennis drove carefully and cradled Jack in his sleep. And now he was looking down on him while thick snow flakes covered the car and wove a cotton like cocoon over the two in the car.
Jack looked peaceful and relaxed in his sleep. He breathed calmly, his chest rising and falling softly and as if guided by a ghost's hand Ennis caressed carefully Jack's face and pulled his hair feather like away from his forehead.
Jack moved a little and Ennis stopped in his movements, startled.
"Don't stop Ennis," Jack whispered so quietly that Ennis had thought he had just imagined it, but as he looked down on Jack he was looking up at him with dark eyes.
Eyes in which Ennis could read like a book and his heart stopped for a moment, filled with a feeling he had never had before but which he knew instinctively that was right and good.
He leaned down carefully, hesitating a bit, before he softly kissed Jack. And this time their lips didn't open in passion but in the deep need to welcome the other one, to offer him entrance to heart and soul.
Their lips melted together and Ennis pulled up Jack's chest, pressing it to him. With trembling hands he dove under Jack's jacket, burrowed under the layers of fabric until he finally finally felt Jack's naked skin. Warm and soft it felt beneath his searching fingers and deep joy welled through him as he sensed Jack tremble under his touch and moan out quietly.
"Jack... Jack...," Ennis whispered and pressed his cheek to Jack's face, clung to his hair and strongly held the body of the man near him who meant so much to him. So infinitely much...
"We shouldn't be doing this here Ennis...," Jack whispered breathlessly and looked at him with hazy eyes. "Come with me... Come home with me...," he pleaded, and Ennis faltered a moment.
Put everything he had to lose in the balance, and everything he had to win. And he saw that it continued to snow outside - white and soft, but not peacefully. Not peacefully at all.
He looked at Jack looking at him anxiously and he knew that his nightmares would be worse that night than in all other nights that had been and were to follow.
Winter had made his entry - the fateful day was getting closer, and Ennis made a decision.
He pulled the key out of the lock, opened the door and trembling from the cold, he jumped on the street, ran around the car and helped Jack get out.
Wordlessly they looked at each other as Ennis took the crutches and Jack clung to Ennis' hip that was seeking sustanance. Together they walked into the house to seek shelter from a night that could hardly be any colder.
tbc with chapter 7
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17 (Warning: violence !)
Summary: AU_AU. This is a story about fear, uncertainty and doubt but also about friendship and love. Ennis and Jack meet each other in the modern time.
Dedication: This story is dedicated to my German beta tanzmaeusi, who encouraged me to write this story. I also want to thank judy-blue-cat who helped me to understand the US-postal service and who also helped me to find the most suitable name for the city where this story takes place.
But tizi17 is the one you should thank the most if you like this story because she is the one who translates it. My special thank is dedicated to poppyhoney_67. She's our second native speaker besides Judy who is willing to help us catching the remaining errors. Thank you all !!
Feedback: Please !! It keeps all of us motivated...
* * *
Prologue: http://mel0804.livejournal.com/37179.html
1 Steel City: http://mel0804.livejournal.com/38777.html
2 Rust Town: http://mel0804.livejournal.com/46005.html
3 Iron District (part 1): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/51964.html
3 Iron District (part 2): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/52662.html
4 17, Allegheny Street, Rust Town (part 1): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/58027.html
4 17, Allegheny Street, Rust Town (part 1): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/58380.html
5 13, Monongahela Alley; Iron District (part 1): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/62609.html
5 13, Monongahela Alley; Iron District (part 2): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/63302.html
6 Jack Twist, 13, Monongahela Alley, Iron District (part 1): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/65673.html
6 Jack Twist, 13, Monongahela Alley, Iron District (part 2): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/68323.html
6
Jack Twist, 13, Monongahela Alley, Iron District (part 3):
"They stare at me Ennis"
"They stare at US, if they even do."
"I hate it. Why do people gawk if someone is different huh?"
"Jack, people see what they want to see. Nobody's interested in who you really are. They just see your defect and that's what diverts them."
"Divert from what?"
"From themselves. They got somebody else to talk about and to feel sorry for."
"Shit! I don't want nobody to feel sorry for me. That... that was a damn stupid idea to come here. I... I want to leave, Ennis..."
"You want them to win? You want to give those fuckers the feeling they had power over you?"
Ennis looked seriously into Jack's eyes and wished he would feel the sureness he tried to imply on Jack. In reality he felt like running away. His heart raced and his fingers were ice cold and bathed in sweat.
He didn't feel well among people. It gave him the irritating feeling to be different, not to be part of them. But he sensed that it had to be even worse for Jack right now. He writhed not only internally but also wore the hunted expression of a chased animal on his face which rose a deep rage in Ennis towards everyone standing around them and gawking more or less subtle. A consuming wish to protect Jack welled up in him.
And for the first time in his life he put his sensitivities behind him and he wanted to be strong for the man beside him who needed him and relied on his assurance.
"Fuck them... fuck everyone, Jack", he whispered into Jack's ear and both remembered the evening a few days ago.
Jack looked at him with glazed eyes and nodded bravely. "Ok", he whispered hoarsely. "I... I'm sorry Ennis. I didn't want to... I'm just so fed up with this... I wish we had met five years ago..."
"I guess five years ago you wouldn't have so much as even looked at me", Ennis mumbled and a bitter undertone swung with his voice.
"Don't say that", Jack answered quietly and leaned lightly towards Ennis' body. "You cast a poor light on me", he added and looked at him, grinning.
Ennis laughed silently. "You're right", he admitted and suddenly felt so light headed. "So, Jack, introduce me to the fascination of cinema..."
And Jack really didn't need to be told twice. Already on the drive to the cinema he could barely hide his excitement, and now he told Ennis about when he was last time at the movies and which film he had seen. And he confided in Ennis that his biggest dream as a child had been to once shake Superman's hand and be able to touch his emblem on his chest. Ennis listened. Astonished and amazed, he saw what changes appeared in Jack. He gleamed from inside, his face a blaze of enthusiasm and he spread the charm of childlike excitement that thrilled Ennis and carried him away, and he caught himself having the feeling to be with Jack at the beginning of a wonderful adventure.
"Why do you like the movies so much, Jack?" Ennis wanted to know curiously as Jack had to catch his breath in-between.
"Why?" Jack looked at him with wide eyes. "Because... Ennis, there's no better place to escape from the world. This big screen, the sound, the actors - everything seems so real and so... ohh Ennis, come here... come back here a minute...," he called after Ennis who was walking slowly towards the cinema hall.
Ennis turned around and came back. "What?"
"Get us a big bucket of pop corn - that goes with the movies. Money's in my back pocket, it's on me... Come on Ennis, let me pay for it - you brought me here..."
Jack looked pleading at Ennis who wanted to take his own money. "I would have brought you anyway", he mumbled offended. "No need to pay for me..."
"Please Ennis don't make it difficult for me. I... I can't return the favour by driving you somewhere the next time...," Jack said quietly and angled towards Ennis' wallet.
Ennis looked up and saw in Jack's eyes how important it was to him to be able to invite Ennis, and he gave in. "Ok," he mumbled quietly. "Where did you say your money was?"
"In my back pocket... Wait..."
Jack tried to fetch the wallet from his pocket in the back and at the same time lean on the crutches but he failed. Cursing softly he swayed and Ennis held him.
"Easy my friend," he quietly mumbled in Jack's ear and grabbed the wallet unerringly out of his pocket.
Both men froze for a split second as their bodies touched, and as Ennis pulled out the wallet from Jack's back pocket for a moment he pressed his hand onto Jack's bottom cheek. He heard Jack take a sharp breath and smiled shyly at him.
"So you want popcorn, right?" he asked with rough voice. Jack nodded and looked wordless after him as he walked to the stall.
A tall grown man, slender nearly lanky, with dark blonde locks that felt so velvety under his hands. Broad shoulders with strong arms that caught him so many times - and to Jack it seemed that very moment that no movie in the world could mirror better a projection of his personal hero.
He had found his Superman.
+ + +
A few hours later Ennis stopped in front of Jack's door and stalled the spluttering engine.
It was deathly quiet.
Softly some first snowflakes swayed through the grey night and settled down on the landscape as white filigree dots.
Everything seemed so peaceful and yet shivers were running down Ennis' spine.
He felt as if an icy hand would grab him.
It had been in one of those nights - a night that should have been so peaceful, a night were Nature started its hibernation and gathered strength for the new beginning in Spring - as three brutal men destroyed Jack's life in a few minutes.
The life of a man that was sleeping quietly in his lap and whose sleep released him from his pain for some merciful moment.
And Ennis knew this very moment that he would never be able again to watch the falling snowflakes with a sense of quiet and peace.
It had been years since he had consciously lived the beginning of winter. During the last years the changing of season had passed him unnoticed, and he only knew about it when doing his lonely tour around the deserted blocks either sweating or freezing.
He had long given up checking on the weather. Since he had to leave his parents' ranch atmospheric conditions were little more than an inconvenient side effect. It didn't decide over his or his animals' existence any more.
But this night everything was different.
The evening at the movies had been a very impressive experience for him. He couldn't even remember which film they had seen. The actors weren't known to him and sometimes it was hard for him to follow the story line - but that didn't matter.
He enjoyed the sensual experience of colours and music. No comparison to his derelict tube - even Jack's TV set couldn't stand the pace, he thought astonished.
And during the entire film he sat near Jack, shared his excitement, quietly laughed at his mumbled comments he couldn't even suppress at the most thrilling moments; and as Jack's remarks sounded more suppressed and he began to fidget around on his seat, he took him in his arms, supported his body, felt his heart beat, nuzzled into Jack's hair and thought that this was by far the best evening he had ever had.
On their way home Jack was quiet and pale and Ennis sensed that he was in pain from that long sitting. He wordlessly patted his lap. Jack followed the mute invitation, put his head on Ennis' right thigh and stretched out his legs as well as possible on the seat.
Ennis drove carefully and cradled Jack in his sleep. And now he was looking down on him while thick snow flakes covered the car and wove a cotton like cocoon over the two in the car.
Jack looked peaceful and relaxed in his sleep. He breathed calmly, his chest rising and falling softly and as if guided by a ghost's hand Ennis caressed carefully Jack's face and pulled his hair feather like away from his forehead.
Jack moved a little and Ennis stopped in his movements, startled.
"Don't stop Ennis," Jack whispered so quietly that Ennis had thought he had just imagined it, but as he looked down on Jack he was looking up at him with dark eyes.
Eyes in which Ennis could read like a book and his heart stopped for a moment, filled with a feeling he had never had before but which he knew instinctively that was right and good.
He leaned down carefully, hesitating a bit, before he softly kissed Jack. And this time their lips didn't open in passion but in the deep need to welcome the other one, to offer him entrance to heart and soul.
Their lips melted together and Ennis pulled up Jack's chest, pressing it to him. With trembling hands he dove under Jack's jacket, burrowed under the layers of fabric until he finally finally felt Jack's naked skin. Warm and soft it felt beneath his searching fingers and deep joy welled through him as he sensed Jack tremble under his touch and moan out quietly.
"Jack... Jack...," Ennis whispered and pressed his cheek to Jack's face, clung to his hair and strongly held the body of the man near him who meant so much to him. So infinitely much...
"We shouldn't be doing this here Ennis...," Jack whispered breathlessly and looked at him with hazy eyes. "Come with me... Come home with me...," he pleaded, and Ennis faltered a moment.
Put everything he had to lose in the balance, and everything he had to win. And he saw that it continued to snow outside - white and soft, but not peacefully. Not peacefully at all.
He looked at Jack looking at him anxiously and he knew that his nightmares would be worse that night than in all other nights that had been and were to follow.
Winter had made his entry - the fateful day was getting closer, and Ennis made a decision.
He pulled the key out of the lock, opened the door and trembling from the cold, he jumped on the street, ran around the car and helped Jack get out.
Wordlessly they looked at each other as Ennis took the crutches and Jack clung to Ennis' hip that was seeking sustanance. Together they walked into the house to seek shelter from a night that could hardly be any colder.
tbc with chapter 7