Obscurity
Pairing: Ennis/Jack
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17 (Warning: violence, drug abuse !)
Summary: AU_AU. This is a story about fear, uncertainty and doubt but also about friendship and love. Ennis and Jack meet each other in the modern time.
Dedication: This story is dedicated to my German beta tanzmaeusi, who encouraged me to write this story. I also want to thank judy-blue-cat who helped me to understand the US-postal service and who also helped me to find the most suitable name for the city where this story takes place.
But tizi17 is the one you should thank the most if you like this story because she is the one who translates it. My special thank is dedicated to poppyhoney_67. She's our second native speaker besides Judy who is willing to help us catching the remaining errors. Thank you all !!
Feedback: Please !! It keeps all of us motivated...
* * *
Prologue: http://mel0804.livejournal.com/37179.html
1 Steel City: http://mel0804.livejournal.com/38777.html
2 Rust Town: http://mel0804.livejournal.com/46005.html
3 Iron District (part 1): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/51964.html
3 Iron District (part 2): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/52662.html
4
17, Allegheny Street, Rust Town
Millions of years ago the fogs cleared and the seething forces of Nature came to rest. The inhospitable world divided into Water and Air, Sky and Earth.
Continents formed, gave birth to mountains and created deep valleys. Lakes and rivers led the waters to giant oceans - the cradles of life. A tender green covered the plains and created a richness in species that bestowed the Earth its unique face.
The world was created, and the powers lost themselves in eternity; surviving as alerter of growth and decay in the memory of those winning the fight for survival during the following generations.
And as man conquered Nature, creating a living space to his imagination, the forces of aeons gone lost their power over their creation's souls, passing them the burden of life.
Fear and angst, regret and shame were testimonies of man's freedom, telling about misery of their forlornness.
The nurturing cordon was cut, the cosmic order interrupted.
+ + +
He watched impassively how his father's leather belt went down merciless on his twin brother's back.
By closing out of his consciousness the abhorrent sound of mistreated skin and his brother's pitiful whimpering, he learned during those minutes of painful watching that violence is a powerful language. He understood to have to be stronger than all the others to escape his father's drill and avoid his brother's fate. His heart shut closed and became as cold as stone.
Ignoring his sister's retching sounds and her trembling hand searching for help, he smiled down to her, untouched, took her bowed head with his hands and forced her to look up, denying her to retreat into oblivion and taking care that her brother's bleeding back would be burnt into her memory until the end of her days.
That was the moment he had lost respect of life.
+ + +
The air lay shimmering on the deserted plain. Crickets chirped lazily in the midday sun, birds tweeted tiredly against the oppressing sultriness and a warm wind blew restrainedly through the canyons, as a man walked over a stony path, accompanied by a boy.
Stones crunched quietly under the man's heavy steps who had his son clutched hard at his neck, keeping him with a steel hard grip.
The thirteen year old padded cowed, with bowed head, beside his father. They made their way without words, the boy's heart beating, frightened in his father's presence.
Finally the man stood, spat on the ground and turned his son's look down in a canyon.
The warm summer wind carried the scent of putrefaction. To the crickets' and birds' duet added the voracious humming of the death flies whose metal-blue behinds shimmered coldly in the sunlight as they bombarded aggressively the body lying lifelessly in the sun.
Numb of horror, the boy looked down the canyon and piece by piece his mind put together what his eyes were seeing. The corpse was naked before his eyes, his genitals chopped, the face atrociously disfigured to a mask of death - but yet he recognized the man down there. The inhuman visage of death was burnt forever in his memory.
As he caught the vultures' battle cry he woke from his numbness and turned around, retching, still feeling his father's cold grip on his neck.
And as he heard his scornful laughter he knew that he had lost. His heart shrunk in fear, knowing well that a failure would never be tolerated without punishment.
This very day he closed his heart and opted out of life.
+ + +
Both brothers were standing on the porch of the ranch house, smoking, the cigarette butts glowing red in the early dark of autumn, as a police car came up and stopped, crunching. Two officers got out. The dark uniforms became indistinct in the light of dusk, and like shapeless shadows they came towards the two men who were looking at them, wordlessly waiting.
One with a hint of fear in his eyes, the other one gazing impassively.
The policemen brought news about their parents' and their little sister's death with portly sympathy and obsequious respect for the bereaved.
None of the officers thought much about it as one brother listened mute to the words, and the other one burst into unrestrained laughter.
The face of grief had many shades.
+ + +
The weeks passed along and life continued. Both brothers tried to maintain the run of the ranch. But while one got up at sunrise and went to bed at night, the other one lost his rhythm of life.
It occurred more and more often that he stayed away for entire nights or stayed apathetically in bed during the day, beaten up by drugs. Tried one twin to talk to the other about it and move him with moral sustain to cooperation, the other one punched.
Merciless - because he had strength. Beefy and filled with hardly controllable aggression that came out undisguised in moments of confrontation, letting the one twin, rigid with fear, look into a face of hatred. A face so similar to his own.
They talked less and less, and as the bank took the ranch in winter, the one brother hadn't showed up in three days.
Quietly, and full of a nameless grief that astonished himself, the other twin took out the remaining 24 Dollars from the coffee pot, took his little belongings in a rucksack and his brother's into a cardboard box which he left with a short message in front of the door, whose key the bank took immediately.
He didn't look back, as he walked along the dusty road with steps too tired for his age, hoping for a fortunate pickup.
He never saw his brother again.
+ + +
When Ennis came home that evening, solitude grabbed him with icy claws. For the first time in his life he felt the quiet in his life as oppressing and had the feeling he could still hear Jack's light breathing in his ears.
Sounds of life, sounds of human existence. He never missed them as much as that day as he sat on the couch with a headache and a dark blue coloured swelling under his eye, listening full of yearning to hear noises outside of his apartment which would show him that he wasn't alone.
But it stayed quiet around him, and the longer the evening went on the louder the echo of his heartbeat thumped through his body and he hated it. He hated the proof of life in his body, hated the power with which his heart pumped blood through his veins - a power of life which he didn't feel - and he hated it that his organs kept alive so easily what was not worth living for to him.
Mechanically he took the white powder on the table, dragged his line cold and unaffected and inhaled the poison deep and with a sense of secret triumph.
As he sank numb onto the cushions, forms and colours brilliant before his eyes, a feeling of total despise arose from the dusk of his drugged mind. Despise and profound disgust towards himself that apparently he hadn't managed this time, either, to draw a longer line to give him the ultimate, the final kick. To finish what long ago had stopped being.
Last thing he saw before sinking into an unconscious sleep was a brilliant blue, and in a touch of relief he asked himself if that was the colour of eternity.
+ + +
Life strode along for Ennis and Jack during the following weeks and months. They saw each other every day, exchanged a few words every time, and slowly, very slowly, their lives began to weave together.
They got used to each other, and although Ennis has not stepped further into the apartment than the corridor since that incident with Jack's neighbour, a quiet acquaintance developed between them and the knowledge that one was waiting for the other. Jack for Ennis to bring the mail, and Ennis was listening every day patiently to Jack's insecure steps and the light clacking of his crutch on the floor. More and more often he caught himself waiting with a smile for Jack to open the door.
Summer passed, autumn arrived and with it heavy storms, fierce rainfalls and way too early for that season the damp cold set in that crawled icily through clothes and congealed too early bodies heated by the summer.
One day by the end of October Ennis rang at Jack's door, but this time he waited in vain for the door to open.
+ + +
tbc with part 2
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17 (Warning: violence, drug abuse !)
Summary: AU_AU. This is a story about fear, uncertainty and doubt but also about friendship and love. Ennis and Jack meet each other in the modern time.
Dedication: This story is dedicated to my German beta tanzmaeusi, who encouraged me to write this story. I also want to thank judy-blue-cat who helped me to understand the US-postal service and who also helped me to find the most suitable name for the city where this story takes place.
But tizi17 is the one you should thank the most if you like this story because she is the one who translates it. My special thank is dedicated to poppyhoney_67. She's our second native speaker besides Judy who is willing to help us catching the remaining errors. Thank you all !!
Feedback: Please !! It keeps all of us motivated...
* * *
Prologue: http://mel0804.livejournal.com/37179.html
1 Steel City: http://mel0804.livejournal.com/38777.html
2 Rust Town: http://mel0804.livejournal.com/46005.html
3 Iron District (part 1): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/51964.html
3 Iron District (part 2): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/52662.html
4
17, Allegheny Street, Rust Town
Millions of years ago the fogs cleared and the seething forces of Nature came to rest. The inhospitable world divided into Water and Air, Sky and Earth.
Continents formed, gave birth to mountains and created deep valleys. Lakes and rivers led the waters to giant oceans - the cradles of life. A tender green covered the plains and created a richness in species that bestowed the Earth its unique face.
The world was created, and the powers lost themselves in eternity; surviving as alerter of growth and decay in the memory of those winning the fight for survival during the following generations.
And as man conquered Nature, creating a living space to his imagination, the forces of aeons gone lost their power over their creation's souls, passing them the burden of life.
Fear and angst, regret and shame were testimonies of man's freedom, telling about misery of their forlornness.
The nurturing cordon was cut, the cosmic order interrupted.
+ + +
He watched impassively how his father's leather belt went down merciless on his twin brother's back.
By closing out of his consciousness the abhorrent sound of mistreated skin and his brother's pitiful whimpering, he learned during those minutes of painful watching that violence is a powerful language. He understood to have to be stronger than all the others to escape his father's drill and avoid his brother's fate. His heart shut closed and became as cold as stone.
Ignoring his sister's retching sounds and her trembling hand searching for help, he smiled down to her, untouched, took her bowed head with his hands and forced her to look up, denying her to retreat into oblivion and taking care that her brother's bleeding back would be burnt into her memory until the end of her days.
That was the moment he had lost respect of life.
+ + +
The air lay shimmering on the deserted plain. Crickets chirped lazily in the midday sun, birds tweeted tiredly against the oppressing sultriness and a warm wind blew restrainedly through the canyons, as a man walked over a stony path, accompanied by a boy.
Stones crunched quietly under the man's heavy steps who had his son clutched hard at his neck, keeping him with a steel hard grip.
The thirteen year old padded cowed, with bowed head, beside his father. They made their way without words, the boy's heart beating, frightened in his father's presence.
Finally the man stood, spat on the ground and turned his son's look down in a canyon.
The warm summer wind carried the scent of putrefaction. To the crickets' and birds' duet added the voracious humming of the death flies whose metal-blue behinds shimmered coldly in the sunlight as they bombarded aggressively the body lying lifelessly in the sun.
Numb of horror, the boy looked down the canyon and piece by piece his mind put together what his eyes were seeing. The corpse was naked before his eyes, his genitals chopped, the face atrociously disfigured to a mask of death - but yet he recognized the man down there. The inhuman visage of death was burnt forever in his memory.
As he caught the vultures' battle cry he woke from his numbness and turned around, retching, still feeling his father's cold grip on his neck.
And as he heard his scornful laughter he knew that he had lost. His heart shrunk in fear, knowing well that a failure would never be tolerated without punishment.
This very day he closed his heart and opted out of life.
+ + +
Both brothers were standing on the porch of the ranch house, smoking, the cigarette butts glowing red in the early dark of autumn, as a police car came up and stopped, crunching. Two officers got out. The dark uniforms became indistinct in the light of dusk, and like shapeless shadows they came towards the two men who were looking at them, wordlessly waiting.
One with a hint of fear in his eyes, the other one gazing impassively.
The policemen brought news about their parents' and their little sister's death with portly sympathy and obsequious respect for the bereaved.
None of the officers thought much about it as one brother listened mute to the words, and the other one burst into unrestrained laughter.
The face of grief had many shades.
+ + +
The weeks passed along and life continued. Both brothers tried to maintain the run of the ranch. But while one got up at sunrise and went to bed at night, the other one lost his rhythm of life.
It occurred more and more often that he stayed away for entire nights or stayed apathetically in bed during the day, beaten up by drugs. Tried one twin to talk to the other about it and move him with moral sustain to cooperation, the other one punched.
Merciless - because he had strength. Beefy and filled with hardly controllable aggression that came out undisguised in moments of confrontation, letting the one twin, rigid with fear, look into a face of hatred. A face so similar to his own.
They talked less and less, and as the bank took the ranch in winter, the one brother hadn't showed up in three days.
Quietly, and full of a nameless grief that astonished himself, the other twin took out the remaining 24 Dollars from the coffee pot, took his little belongings in a rucksack and his brother's into a cardboard box which he left with a short message in front of the door, whose key the bank took immediately.
He didn't look back, as he walked along the dusty road with steps too tired for his age, hoping for a fortunate pickup.
He never saw his brother again.
+ + +
When Ennis came home that evening, solitude grabbed him with icy claws. For the first time in his life he felt the quiet in his life as oppressing and had the feeling he could still hear Jack's light breathing in his ears.
Sounds of life, sounds of human existence. He never missed them as much as that day as he sat on the couch with a headache and a dark blue coloured swelling under his eye, listening full of yearning to hear noises outside of his apartment which would show him that he wasn't alone.
But it stayed quiet around him, and the longer the evening went on the louder the echo of his heartbeat thumped through his body and he hated it. He hated the proof of life in his body, hated the power with which his heart pumped blood through his veins - a power of life which he didn't feel - and he hated it that his organs kept alive so easily what was not worth living for to him.
Mechanically he took the white powder on the table, dragged his line cold and unaffected and inhaled the poison deep and with a sense of secret triumph.
As he sank numb onto the cushions, forms and colours brilliant before his eyes, a feeling of total despise arose from the dusk of his drugged mind. Despise and profound disgust towards himself that apparently he hadn't managed this time, either, to draw a longer line to give him the ultimate, the final kick. To finish what long ago had stopped being.
Last thing he saw before sinking into an unconscious sleep was a brilliant blue, and in a touch of relief he asked himself if that was the colour of eternity.
+ + +
Life strode along for Ennis and Jack during the following weeks and months. They saw each other every day, exchanged a few words every time, and slowly, very slowly, their lives began to weave together.
They got used to each other, and although Ennis has not stepped further into the apartment than the corridor since that incident with Jack's neighbour, a quiet acquaintance developed between them and the knowledge that one was waiting for the other. Jack for Ennis to bring the mail, and Ennis was listening every day patiently to Jack's insecure steps and the light clacking of his crutch on the floor. More and more often he caught himself waiting with a smile for Jack to open the door.
Summer passed, autumn arrived and with it heavy storms, fierce rainfalls and way too early for that season the damp cold set in that crawled icily through clothes and congealed too early bodies heated by the summer.
One day by the end of October Ennis rang at Jack's door, but this time he waited in vain for the door to open.
+ + +
tbc with part 2