Obscurity
Pairing: Ennis/Jack
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17 (Warning: violence !)
Summary: AU_AU. This is a story about fear, uncertainty and doubt but also about friendship and love. Ennis and Jack meet each other in the modern time.
Dedication: This story is dedicated to my German beta tanzmaeusi, who encouraged me to write this story. I also want to thank judy-blue-cat who helped me to understand the US-postal service and who also helped me to find the most suitable name for the city where this story takes place.
But tizi17 is the one you should thank the most if you like this story because she is the one who translates it. My special thank is dedicated to poppyhoney_67. She's our second native speaker besides Judy who is willing to help us catching the remaining errors. Thank you all !!
Feedback: Please !! It keeps all of us motivated...
* * *
Prologue: http://mel0804.livejournal.com/37179.html
1 Steel City: http://mel0804.livejournal.com/38777.html
2 Rust Town: http://mel0804.livejournal.com/46005.html
3 Iron District (part 1): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/51964.html
3 Iron District (part 2): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/52662.html
4 17, Allegheny Street, Rust Town (part 1): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/58027.html
4
17, Allegheny Street, Rust Town (part 2)
The rain lashed on his face and glanced off his skin like bullets, as he arrived at the last block of his today's tour.
Ennis was chilled to the bone and drenched with rain by now, as he worked from floor to floor before arriving at the door he had been keeping to the end of his tour for many weeks now.
Last water drops dripped off his nose as he pushed the bell button. Trembling with cold, he waited for the sounds from inside while seconds passed and became minutes.
Insecure, Ennis pushed the button another time, listening attentively. The signal echoed out to him loud and clear. If Jack was there he had to hear it, but no sound was heard from inside.
The letters in his hand were soaked by now and with a feeling of initial worry he put them back into his waterproofed bag. He rang again, but Jack didn't show.
He looked around carefully before knocking tentatively on the door. “Jack,“ he called cautiously. There was no answer, though. Tingling nervousness spread in his body, clutching to his stomach that tightened painfully.
It was unusual that Jack wasn't there. And Ennis was sure Jack would have made a remark about a possible trip or absence. There was something wrong...
Ennis looked haggardly at his watch which Aguirre had ordered him to wear. His shift was nearly over. He was expected at the post office, and after the accident with Victor Sevchenko he was under special observation of his boss. He had to go back.
He rang one last time with the dying hope Jack might still open the door, but as more minutes passed he turned around with bowed head and went back to his pickup with heavy steps, not feeling the icy rain any more that pattered to his unshielded face.
+ + +
As he sat in his kitchen that afternoon, lost in thoughts and scratching listlessly at the label of an unopened beer, a dumb sense of presage crept up in him that made him shiver. His fingers cramped around the bottle as if searching for support and in front of his eyes appeared the two officers that had brought the news about his parents' and little sister's death many years ago.
Nausea welled up in him and he managed to get to the bath in time before he vomited, retching and panting until his stomach had only bitter bile left to send up.
Moaning, he let cold water run into his hands, washed his overheated face and rinsed his mouth.
He went to the hallway, numb, put on his boots and a rain jacket, set up his cowboy hat to catch the worst of the rain and left his apartment.
Half an hour later he stood again in front of Jack's door and kept ringing the bell. And as Jack didn't again open the door, he searched hectically in the big pockets of his parka for his wallet, taking out an unused credit card, and drew it between doorframe and door.
With a slight clatter the old lock gave in and Ennis stepped into the apartment. As he closed the door quietly behind him and padded for the light switch he knew there was something wrong.
A sinister quiet was in the air. Panic crept up his back and left a tickling feeling on his skin. His breath came fitfully as he moved slowly in the apartment, throwing a look into the living room and from there to the kitchen - no trace of Jack.
He went back to the hallway, passed the mirror near the door and padded hesitantly into the bedroom.
And there he saw him.
Quietly moaning he went to the mattress where Jack lay without moving. “Jack,“ he whispered of fear to interrupt the dead silence filling the room.
“Jack...!“
He touched carefully the man's forehead and drew back his hand, startled. He burnt up. “Oh my God,“ Ennis mumbled and drew away the blanket. Jack was sweat soaked and as the cold air hit his body he began to tremble uncontrollably. His teeth clattered and quickly Ennis covered him back again.
“Damn, what am I gonna do?“ he asked himself quietly and pulled a string of damp hair out of Jack's face.
“Ma...,“ Jack mumbled dazed and tried to open his eyes.
“Shhh... Jack, it's me, Ennis. You're sick friend. Got to go to a hospital...“
Jack opened his eyes and focussed painfully on the man near his bedside.
“E-Ennis..? Wha..what happened?“ he croaked with rough voice.
“You're sick, Jack. You... you hurt?“ Ennis asked with quiet voice and nobody would have thought that his heart beat in his breast hectically for fear.
“My head... my throat.. my legs...,“ Jack whispered and his eyelids fluttered.
“Jack... Jack... don't go back to sleep. Got to go to a hospital,“ he repeated and tried to bring Jack to a sitting position, but suddenly and without a warning Jack punched away the helping hands.
“No hospital,“ he panted with wide open eyes and trembling body and withdrew to the farthest corner of his bed with a painful face.
Ennis startled. “But...,“ he began, unsure how to react to Jack's panicked resistance.
“No hospital,“ Jack repeated his request, looking at him with pleading eyes. “No hospital,“ he mumbled again and again before twisting his eyes and drifting into a restless sleep in sitting position.
Ennis sat before him, clueless. He had no idea what was wrong with Jack. He thought of a heavy influenza but wasn't sure because Jack's medical history was completely unknown to him.
As he looked at the feverishly shaking body tossing and turning restlessly in his sleep, mumbling from time to time, he at least knew one thing for sure. Jack couldn't stay on his own.
As far as Ennis knew, Jack had no friends or acquaintances in town, and he never talked about a family. Ennis suspected that if he had one they surely would live in Wyoming - too far away therefore to get them to help.
And at this moment it dawned to him that Jack was as alone in this desolate town as Ennis was and that he, Ennis, was the only one to be able to help Jack now.
He was horrified by the thought what would have happened to Jack if Ennis hadn't come back, and a nameless fear grabbed him as he thought what might happen to him if he ever needed sudden help.
Who would come and take care of him? Who would even notice that he was missing somewhere? Aguirre would surely ask where Ennis was, but Ennis knew with cast-iron certainty that his boss would hire a substitute without batting an eye if Ennis didn't call in sick but just disappeared.
No, nobody would miss him. He was - as Jack - a useless subject of society. Loved by no one - and not mourned by one single soul. Bitterness welled up in Ennis - and a well known sense of defiance and rebellion.
He got up resolutely, went to the kitchen, fetched Jack's medicine and threw it in a plastic bag he found in one of the few drawers.
In the bathroom, which he entered with a shameful feeling to decisively enter Jack's private space, he found washing and shaving stuff that landed in the bag, too.
Back to the bedroom he found Jack still asleep. His chest had slid aside meanwhile and lay on the bed in an unhealthy angle.
Ennis grimaced and hurried to pack some of Jack's clothes into the bag. He couldn't see that Jack's sleeping position was all too good for him.
“Jack,“ Ennis whispered as everything was packed. He shook Jack carefully at his shoulder. “Jack, wake up.“
Jack moved in his sleep, and Ennis took the chance to pull one arm under his head and raise him slightly.
“Jack, wake up. I can't do that on my own“, Ennis mumbled and sat Jack up.
“Let me be,“ Jack whimpered, half conscious. “Not to the hospital... you hurt me...“
Ennis sighed heavily. He had no idea where and how to touch Jack without adding more pain to his body.
“Jack, help me here,“ he pleaded quietly. “I'll take you home with me, but you have to get up to do so. Think you can manage?“
Jack opened his eyes fluttering and looked at him with a glassy gaze. “What are you doing?“ he asked bewildered, and for a short moment his feverish mind was clear and open.
“You're sick,“ Ennis mumbled shyly. “You don't want no hospital, but you can't stay here on your own either. I got to work, so I thought... but if you don't want to I can...“
Jack shook his head slowly. “No,“ he said with rough voice. “I... I'm coming with you.“
Ennis nodded and lowered his gaze. Jack's devoted and thankful look touched him and made him feel ashamed at the same time. Wordlessly he handed him his jacket, helped him to dress and finally put Jack's arm around his shoulder to ease his getting up.
Painfully and exhausted Jack trudged out of bed and finally stood - the whole body trembling - near Ennis who kept him strong in his arms and who became aware right then how fragile Jack's body was in his arms. He felt this man's fragility and admired at the same time his dignity and nearly stubborn willpower he had to have to stand upright near him.
Instinctively he intensified his grip around Jack's body, and for a split second he felt that Jack let himself go - as if he wanted to test if Ennis' strength was enough for the both of them.
Ennis closed his eyes as he felt the man's weight in his arms, and instinctively he bowed his head and pressed his face to Jack's sweaty hair.
Jack froze for a breath's length before the feeling of protection put his body into a state of carefree weightlessness. Carefully he turned around, and hesitantly, nearly questioningly, he drew his arms around Ennis who returned the embrace without a word.
It seemed like eternity to them as they were standing in the room embraced, listening to their breathing. One of them quiet and full of strength, the other one trembling and forced, they melted together and became one rich sound of life and the proof of the fact that they were not alone.
Not today.
+ + +
As Ennis sat in his kitchen a little later he looked back in awe at those past hours.
He had brought Jack back home, put him to his bed he previously had changed sheets and given him medication he had provided at a drugstore on the way home - the elder lady's strict instruction still in his ear that said to consult a physician if Jack's symptoms were not to improve during the night.
For the moment Jack was sleeping and Ennis sat exhausted on his chair - too tired to move and too restless to go to sleep on the couch.
Slowly the fear started to ooze into his mind; fear he had had for Jack as he had found him dead still in his apartment. Fear and a terrible sense of pain had taken his breath away for seconds. Seconds where he did not know if Jack was still alive.
He had the impression that his life passed in front of him the moment he neared Jack. His life that had seemed so senseless to him those last years. A burden he carried because he was expected to - not because he wanted to.
For years he had been getting up in the morning because it was part of life to get up in the morning. He had taken a shower, brushed his teeth, gone to work, done shopping, washed his clothes, watched TV with his lousy TV set - a lonesome circle of pathetic dullness.
And the more time passed by the more absurd it seemed to him that there was obviously some sort of power that kept him alive, preventing him again and again from drowning in a whirl of destroying addiction by his drug use but rather bestowing him a feeling of liveliness.
And today he had found the answer. Today he sensed that those years of emptiness had had a meaning. The day today was more reward for the pain of loneliness than he had ever dared to hope for. More than he had ever thought to earn.
Slowly Ennis stood up and went to his bedroom with hesitant steps. He stood still in the door frame and looked at the sleeping figure in his bed.
Peacefully Jack's chest rose and fell and his face lay on the pillow, relaxed. Nearly a child he seemed when his face was not driven by pain, and a feeling of warmth flooded through Ennis that made him dizzy.
Laboriously he held tight to the door frame and took a deep breath as the emotions menaced to suffocate him, surging up in his breast and shattering his shell of self control.
He went to his bed with trembling legs and set on the side. His hand grazed Jack's forehead feather like. The fever had gone down, and a surge of relief and deep thankfulness took hold of him.
He took Jack's hand carefully in his that felt warm and dry as he pressed it shyly to his cheek. Unwittingly he huddled against the warm skin. His lips trembled softly under the throbbing of the vein that announced strongly and quietly that Jack was alive, and with both hands he clasped Jack's hand like a precious treasure, burying his face in it.
That night Ennis didn't leave Jack's side.
+ + +
tbc with chapter 5
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17 (Warning: violence !)
Summary: AU_AU. This is a story about fear, uncertainty and doubt but also about friendship and love. Ennis and Jack meet each other in the modern time.
Dedication: This story is dedicated to my German beta tanzmaeusi, who encouraged me to write this story. I also want to thank judy-blue-cat who helped me to understand the US-postal service and who also helped me to find the most suitable name for the city where this story takes place.
But tizi17 is the one you should thank the most if you like this story because she is the one who translates it. My special thank is dedicated to poppyhoney_67. She's our second native speaker besides Judy who is willing to help us catching the remaining errors. Thank you all !!
Feedback: Please !! It keeps all of us motivated...
* * *
Prologue: http://mel0804.livejournal.com/37179.html
1 Steel City: http://mel0804.livejournal.com/38777.html
2 Rust Town: http://mel0804.livejournal.com/46005.html
3 Iron District (part 1): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/51964.html
3 Iron District (part 2): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/52662.html
4 17, Allegheny Street, Rust Town (part 1): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/58027.html
4
17, Allegheny Street, Rust Town (part 2)
The rain lashed on his face and glanced off his skin like bullets, as he arrived at the last block of his today's tour.
Ennis was chilled to the bone and drenched with rain by now, as he worked from floor to floor before arriving at the door he had been keeping to the end of his tour for many weeks now.
Last water drops dripped off his nose as he pushed the bell button. Trembling with cold, he waited for the sounds from inside while seconds passed and became minutes.
Insecure, Ennis pushed the button another time, listening attentively. The signal echoed out to him loud and clear. If Jack was there he had to hear it, but no sound was heard from inside.
The letters in his hand were soaked by now and with a feeling of initial worry he put them back into his waterproofed bag. He rang again, but Jack didn't show.
He looked around carefully before knocking tentatively on the door. “Jack,“ he called cautiously. There was no answer, though. Tingling nervousness spread in his body, clutching to his stomach that tightened painfully.
It was unusual that Jack wasn't there. And Ennis was sure Jack would have made a remark about a possible trip or absence. There was something wrong...
Ennis looked haggardly at his watch which Aguirre had ordered him to wear. His shift was nearly over. He was expected at the post office, and after the accident with Victor Sevchenko he was under special observation of his boss. He had to go back.
He rang one last time with the dying hope Jack might still open the door, but as more minutes passed he turned around with bowed head and went back to his pickup with heavy steps, not feeling the icy rain any more that pattered to his unshielded face.
+ + +
As he sat in his kitchen that afternoon, lost in thoughts and scratching listlessly at the label of an unopened beer, a dumb sense of presage crept up in him that made him shiver. His fingers cramped around the bottle as if searching for support and in front of his eyes appeared the two officers that had brought the news about his parents' and little sister's death many years ago.
Nausea welled up in him and he managed to get to the bath in time before he vomited, retching and panting until his stomach had only bitter bile left to send up.
Moaning, he let cold water run into his hands, washed his overheated face and rinsed his mouth.
He went to the hallway, numb, put on his boots and a rain jacket, set up his cowboy hat to catch the worst of the rain and left his apartment.
Half an hour later he stood again in front of Jack's door and kept ringing the bell. And as Jack didn't again open the door, he searched hectically in the big pockets of his parka for his wallet, taking out an unused credit card, and drew it between doorframe and door.
With a slight clatter the old lock gave in and Ennis stepped into the apartment. As he closed the door quietly behind him and padded for the light switch he knew there was something wrong.
A sinister quiet was in the air. Panic crept up his back and left a tickling feeling on his skin. His breath came fitfully as he moved slowly in the apartment, throwing a look into the living room and from there to the kitchen - no trace of Jack.
He went back to the hallway, passed the mirror near the door and padded hesitantly into the bedroom.
And there he saw him.
Quietly moaning he went to the mattress where Jack lay without moving. “Jack,“ he whispered of fear to interrupt the dead silence filling the room.
“Jack...!“
He touched carefully the man's forehead and drew back his hand, startled. He burnt up. “Oh my God,“ Ennis mumbled and drew away the blanket. Jack was sweat soaked and as the cold air hit his body he began to tremble uncontrollably. His teeth clattered and quickly Ennis covered him back again.
“Damn, what am I gonna do?“ he asked himself quietly and pulled a string of damp hair out of Jack's face.
“Ma...,“ Jack mumbled dazed and tried to open his eyes.
“Shhh... Jack, it's me, Ennis. You're sick friend. Got to go to a hospital...“
Jack opened his eyes and focussed painfully on the man near his bedside.
“E-Ennis..? Wha..what happened?“ he croaked with rough voice.
“You're sick, Jack. You... you hurt?“ Ennis asked with quiet voice and nobody would have thought that his heart beat in his breast hectically for fear.
“My head... my throat.. my legs...,“ Jack whispered and his eyelids fluttered.
“Jack... Jack... don't go back to sleep. Got to go to a hospital,“ he repeated and tried to bring Jack to a sitting position, but suddenly and without a warning Jack punched away the helping hands.
“No hospital,“ he panted with wide open eyes and trembling body and withdrew to the farthest corner of his bed with a painful face.
Ennis startled. “But...,“ he began, unsure how to react to Jack's panicked resistance.
“No hospital,“ Jack repeated his request, looking at him with pleading eyes. “No hospital,“ he mumbled again and again before twisting his eyes and drifting into a restless sleep in sitting position.
Ennis sat before him, clueless. He had no idea what was wrong with Jack. He thought of a heavy influenza but wasn't sure because Jack's medical history was completely unknown to him.
As he looked at the feverishly shaking body tossing and turning restlessly in his sleep, mumbling from time to time, he at least knew one thing for sure. Jack couldn't stay on his own.
As far as Ennis knew, Jack had no friends or acquaintances in town, and he never talked about a family. Ennis suspected that if he had one they surely would live in Wyoming - too far away therefore to get them to help.
And at this moment it dawned to him that Jack was as alone in this desolate town as Ennis was and that he, Ennis, was the only one to be able to help Jack now.
He was horrified by the thought what would have happened to Jack if Ennis hadn't come back, and a nameless fear grabbed him as he thought what might happen to him if he ever needed sudden help.
Who would come and take care of him? Who would even notice that he was missing somewhere? Aguirre would surely ask where Ennis was, but Ennis knew with cast-iron certainty that his boss would hire a substitute without batting an eye if Ennis didn't call in sick but just disappeared.
No, nobody would miss him. He was - as Jack - a useless subject of society. Loved by no one - and not mourned by one single soul. Bitterness welled up in Ennis - and a well known sense of defiance and rebellion.
He got up resolutely, went to the kitchen, fetched Jack's medicine and threw it in a plastic bag he found in one of the few drawers.
In the bathroom, which he entered with a shameful feeling to decisively enter Jack's private space, he found washing and shaving stuff that landed in the bag, too.
Back to the bedroom he found Jack still asleep. His chest had slid aside meanwhile and lay on the bed in an unhealthy angle.
Ennis grimaced and hurried to pack some of Jack's clothes into the bag. He couldn't see that Jack's sleeping position was all too good for him.
“Jack,“ Ennis whispered as everything was packed. He shook Jack carefully at his shoulder. “Jack, wake up.“
Jack moved in his sleep, and Ennis took the chance to pull one arm under his head and raise him slightly.
“Jack, wake up. I can't do that on my own“, Ennis mumbled and sat Jack up.
“Let me be,“ Jack whimpered, half conscious. “Not to the hospital... you hurt me...“
Ennis sighed heavily. He had no idea where and how to touch Jack without adding more pain to his body.
“Jack, help me here,“ he pleaded quietly. “I'll take you home with me, but you have to get up to do so. Think you can manage?“
Jack opened his eyes fluttering and looked at him with a glassy gaze. “What are you doing?“ he asked bewildered, and for a short moment his feverish mind was clear and open.
“You're sick,“ Ennis mumbled shyly. “You don't want no hospital, but you can't stay here on your own either. I got to work, so I thought... but if you don't want to I can...“
Jack shook his head slowly. “No,“ he said with rough voice. “I... I'm coming with you.“
Ennis nodded and lowered his gaze. Jack's devoted and thankful look touched him and made him feel ashamed at the same time. Wordlessly he handed him his jacket, helped him to dress and finally put Jack's arm around his shoulder to ease his getting up.
Painfully and exhausted Jack trudged out of bed and finally stood - the whole body trembling - near Ennis who kept him strong in his arms and who became aware right then how fragile Jack's body was in his arms. He felt this man's fragility and admired at the same time his dignity and nearly stubborn willpower he had to have to stand upright near him.
Instinctively he intensified his grip around Jack's body, and for a split second he felt that Jack let himself go - as if he wanted to test if Ennis' strength was enough for the both of them.
Ennis closed his eyes as he felt the man's weight in his arms, and instinctively he bowed his head and pressed his face to Jack's sweaty hair.
Jack froze for a breath's length before the feeling of protection put his body into a state of carefree weightlessness. Carefully he turned around, and hesitantly, nearly questioningly, he drew his arms around Ennis who returned the embrace without a word.
It seemed like eternity to them as they were standing in the room embraced, listening to their breathing. One of them quiet and full of strength, the other one trembling and forced, they melted together and became one rich sound of life and the proof of the fact that they were not alone.
Not today.
+ + +
As Ennis sat in his kitchen a little later he looked back in awe at those past hours.
He had brought Jack back home, put him to his bed he previously had changed sheets and given him medication he had provided at a drugstore on the way home - the elder lady's strict instruction still in his ear that said to consult a physician if Jack's symptoms were not to improve during the night.
For the moment Jack was sleeping and Ennis sat exhausted on his chair - too tired to move and too restless to go to sleep on the couch.
Slowly the fear started to ooze into his mind; fear he had had for Jack as he had found him dead still in his apartment. Fear and a terrible sense of pain had taken his breath away for seconds. Seconds where he did not know if Jack was still alive.
He had the impression that his life passed in front of him the moment he neared Jack. His life that had seemed so senseless to him those last years. A burden he carried because he was expected to - not because he wanted to.
For years he had been getting up in the morning because it was part of life to get up in the morning. He had taken a shower, brushed his teeth, gone to work, done shopping, washed his clothes, watched TV with his lousy TV set - a lonesome circle of pathetic dullness.
And the more time passed by the more absurd it seemed to him that there was obviously some sort of power that kept him alive, preventing him again and again from drowning in a whirl of destroying addiction by his drug use but rather bestowing him a feeling of liveliness.
And today he had found the answer. Today he sensed that those years of emptiness had had a meaning. The day today was more reward for the pain of loneliness than he had ever dared to hope for. More than he had ever thought to earn.
Slowly Ennis stood up and went to his bedroom with hesitant steps. He stood still in the door frame and looked at the sleeping figure in his bed.
Peacefully Jack's chest rose and fell and his face lay on the pillow, relaxed. Nearly a child he seemed when his face was not driven by pain, and a feeling of warmth flooded through Ennis that made him dizzy.
Laboriously he held tight to the door frame and took a deep breath as the emotions menaced to suffocate him, surging up in his breast and shattering his shell of self control.
He went to his bed with trembling legs and set on the side. His hand grazed Jack's forehead feather like. The fever had gone down, and a surge of relief and deep thankfulness took hold of him.
He took Jack's hand carefully in his that felt warm and dry as he pressed it shyly to his cheek. Unwittingly he huddled against the warm skin. His lips trembled softly under the throbbing of the vein that announced strongly and quietly that Jack was alive, and with both hands he clasped Jack's hand like a precious treasure, burying his face in it.
That night Ennis didn't leave Jack's side.
+ + +
tbc with chapter 5