Obscurity
Pairing: Ennis/Jack
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17 (Warning: violence !)
Summary: AU_AU. This is a story about fear, uncertainty and doubt but also about friendship and love. Ennis and Jack meet each other in the modern time.
Dedication: This story is dedicated to my German beta tanzmaeusi, who encouraged me to write this story. I also want to thank judy-blue-cat who helped me to understand the US-postal service and who also helped me to find the most suitable name for the city where this story takes place.
But tizi17 is the one you should thank the most if you like this story because she is the one who translates it. My special thank is dedicated to poppyhoney_67 who is willing to help us catching the remaining errors. Thank you all !!
Feedback: Please !! It keeps all of us motivated...
* * *
Prologue: http://mel0804.livejournal.com/37179.html
1 Steel City: http://mel0804.livejournal.com/38777.html
2 Rust Town: http://mel0804.livejournal.com/46005.html
3 Iron District (part 1): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/51964.html
3 Iron District (part 2): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/52662.html
4 17, Allegheny Street, Rust Town (part 1): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/58027.html
4 17, Allegheny Street, Rust Town (part 1): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/58380.html
5
13 Monongahela Alley; Iron District
Cosmic storm relapsed into silence, forces were allayed and quiet spread over the Earth. The world held its breath as man took his first insecure steps exploring fearfully his living space.
At the beginning they were only few. Widely spread and connected loosely, they soon started to form into collectives. They learned that fighting was more effective in a group and deployed the power of the community for their expansion into foreign realm.
Generations came and went, settled vast parts of the earth subjugating it. But with banning the forces the conquerors - unity began to crumble. The victors cracked at their triumph and a time arrived where men had to fear nothing more than themselves.
Soulless they now lived in a world they had created to their imagination but which could not be more hostile. Again they were lonesome, in quest of fraternity and an accompaniment that could ease the pain of desolation.
+ + +
As Jack awoke he first of all felt his aching bones and a dull throbbing in his head. Whimpering quietly he dug out from under the pillows to get up, but his body was too weak.
Exhausted from the strain he slumped and looked up. Hundreds of cracks crossed the ceiling he was staring at and suddenly his memory was back. He wasn't at home, he wasn't laying in his bed and that weren't his sheet he was sleeping in..
He was with Ennis.
Ennis had found him yesterday and had taken him home with him. And he had gone with him. He had been so sick that he had clutched at every straw he could get. But now, in the light of day, a deep feeling of shame and embarrassment took hold of him. How could he have done this yesterday? How could he - sick and crippled as he was - have entrusted himself to a complete stranger and accept to be taken home by him? Because - effectively he barely knew Ennis.
Sure, they had been talking, had slowly shown tiny insights to their lives, but nothing you could really imply to the character of the man.
And yet Ennis had something that breathed trust to Jack - contrary to his fear of people that accompanied him since his assault. It was that aura of untouchable that conciliated strength. It was his quiet, calm and biding being that allowed Jack to breathe in his presence, and it was the soft and hesitant voice that encouraged him to open up.
Lost in thoughts Jack looked around the room he was in. Faded curtains covered little windows keeping away the daylight that lightened grey and diffusely the room. An old wardrobe stood in the room, a chequered shirt hanging on its door.
Probably one Ennis liked to wear often.
The wardrobe door was lightly ajar. The only sign of liveliness speaking in that room, showing that it was used by a human being. Loneliness talked to Jack from every corner of the room, and here in this room he heard the echo of his own four walls.
The clanging of cupboard doors and dishes drew from the kitchen to his ear, the smell of coffee seduced his nose and made his stomach growl.
Familiar sounds and smells that immediately brought up a sense of home that made him fear. He would not be here forever, was on a journey through. A host in a foreign life - no reason to feel more at home here than necessary. The pain would be bigger when he was back to his own apartment where the quiet sounded louder than the roar of an aeroplane flying over the houses.
Frantically Jack tried to distance himself from everything that flew onto him, intimately connected to Ennis. And the fact that it was connected with Ennis brought up again the well known feeling of familiarity and congeniality he had felt since Ennis had been in front of his door for the first time.
In this bed he felt helpless and at mercy - sick and paralysed as he was - and yet so safe and welcome that he felt nausea.
Deadpan he stared at the door as he heard Ennis' steps get closer. Ennis pushed the door open with his foot. In his hand he balanced with utmost concentration a plate - which made Jack smile involuntarily - loaded with all you needed for breakfast.
With wide eyes Jack followed Ennis' every move who was smiling at him wordless, nearly shyly, put down the plate beside the bed and sat on a chair nearside.
“I... I made you breakfast,“ Ennis said and harrumphed. “I don't know what you eat so I did a bit of everything and... Well...“
He stopped embarrassed and looked at Jack. “You're hungry at all?“ he asked quietly. “How are you?“ he added hesitantly as if that question was an intrusion into his private space.
Jack looked at him smilingly. “I'm better, thank you. And yes, a bit hungry but... you needn't serve me like in a hotel... I can eat what you eat...“
Ennis laughed without humour. “That wouldn't be a good idea, Jack. I eat little, and the little I eat comes from cans. That's not how you get better, probably worse...“
“Where's all that stuff from then?“ Jack asked in surprise.
“Done shopping this morning,“ Ennis said reluctantly and a slight blush crept up his cheeks.
“Oh,“ said Jack and looked at him, baffled. “But... but don't you have to work? What time is it already?“
“I took time off today,“ Ennis whispered and looked to the floor.
“You did that?“ Jack asked aghast and leaned back powerless into the cushions. Ennis nodded.
“I... I can't accept this Ennis,“ Jack said decisive and got ready to stand up. “This is your life, I - I can't just gatecrash here and turn everything upside down and... I will never be able to pay you back for all of this. I appreciate what you did for me yesterday... really... and I'm in your debt for the rest of my life but... but... take me home Ennis,“ he added quietly and looked pleadingly at Ennis.
Lost in thoughts Ennis nibbled at his thumb nail and didn't talk for a while.
“Ennis... please...,“ whispered Jack and felt a lump spread in his throat that took away his air to breathe.
Ennis looked at him. “You're sick Jack,“ he finally said quietly. “Who takes care of you when you're at home, huh?“
“Me?“ Jack said softly and it was more a question than an answer, because he didn't really know at that moment if he would be able to care for himself. His body definitely spoke a different language.
“Damn, Jack,“ Ennis said with vehemence in his voice that surprised both of them. “Yesterday you nearly died under my hands. I would have taken you to a hospital if you hadn't asked me not to do it. It's a miracle you are so much better today. Now be reasonable and stay until you are ok...,“ he added and his words swung not so much of a request than a plea, as he watched Jack expectantly, his lips pressed closed.
Jack fumbled at the bed spread and some minutes passed until he looked up again.
“Why are you doing all this?“ he asked quietly and shrewd eyes looked at Ennis how shrugged embarrassed.
He answered Jack's intensive stare without a word and then looked around in his bedroom until his gaze fell back onto Jack looking quietly at him, seeing in Ennis' eyes what his heart had understood.
He had no debt to Ennis if he stayed with him until he was healthy enough to go back home. His acceptance to stay was his payback for Ennis' help to care for him. They were brothers in solitude and merciful. Samaritans in need.
Ennis for Jack and Jack for Ennis.
Smiling, Jack slumped back into the pillows. “Ok my friend,“ he whispered and took Ennis' hand. “I accept your offer. And now... let's eat breakfast ok?“
Ennis returned Jack's smile with relief, put the plate right on the bed, passed a mug of coffee to Jack, and in silence, they began to eat.
It was as if they had always had breakfast together. One passed on to the other what he needed. Often a look was enough, a quiet anticipating, and the other one received what he wanted. Sometimes their fingers touched when Jack took the salt from Ennis or Ennis got the honey from Jack, and every time it happened they held their breath for a moment, looked in each other's eyes and smiled, embarrassed.
But never - never once - one of them lowered the gaze.
When they were sated and Ennis had taken the plate back to the kitchen taking Jack's medication with him, Jack taking them without complaints, Ennis sat on the bed near Jack and they talked about this and that quietly until Jack said after some time:
“Friend, that's more words than you've spoken in the last months.“
And Ennis replied: “That's the most I've spoken in the entire year...“
They smiled at each other and a familiar peace settled over them. They let their eyes talk, lived with a sense of quiet wonder that harmony of togetherness, and slowly, slowly their hearts accepted that they had found what they had stopped looking for a long time ago.
A friend.
+ + +
Ennis was sitting on his sofa late at night and listened to the silence that didn't sound as void as it had only a few days ago, now as it was protecting the sleep of a sick man in the next room.
He was exhausted but for the first time in a long time he felt satisfied with it. His day had been full of daily chores, as usual. Shopping, cooking - he even cleaned some - and in between he had taken care that Jack took his pills and slept enough. And when the patient had showed signs of boredom he sat near his bed and they played cards.
Ennis quickly had found out that Jack not only was a lousy player but also a lousy loser, and they spent some hour playing and arguing over some move until Ennis had had enough and let Jack win at every third hand.
Jack did as if he hadn't noticed that Ennis let him gain one victory after the other - and Ennis didn't lose a word about Jack trying to cheat from time to time to be able to save his face and score a win without anybody's help.
Ennis smiled as he thought back at this, and he was able to say with certainty that he hadn't lived a day in his life where he had been more satisfied in the evening than today.
He lay on the sofa relaxed and let his head drop onto the soft pillow he had taken from the bedroom. His eyes drifted to the familiar white substance untouched on the table, and with a sense of inner calm he turned the other way and closed his eyes.
+ + +
tbc
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17 (Warning: violence !)
Summary: AU_AU. This is a story about fear, uncertainty and doubt but also about friendship and love. Ennis and Jack meet each other in the modern time.
Dedication: This story is dedicated to my German beta tanzmaeusi, who encouraged me to write this story. I also want to thank judy-blue-cat who helped me to understand the US-postal service and who also helped me to find the most suitable name for the city where this story takes place.
But tizi17 is the one you should thank the most if you like this story because she is the one who translates it. My special thank is dedicated to poppyhoney_67 who is willing to help us catching the remaining errors. Thank you all !!
Feedback: Please !! It keeps all of us motivated...
* * *
Prologue: http://mel0804.livejournal.com/37179.html
1 Steel City: http://mel0804.livejournal.com/38777.html
2 Rust Town: http://mel0804.livejournal.com/46005.html
3 Iron District (part 1): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/51964.html
3 Iron District (part 2): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/52662.html
4 17, Allegheny Street, Rust Town (part 1): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/58027.html
4 17, Allegheny Street, Rust Town (part 1): http://mel0804.livejournal.com/58380.html
5
13 Monongahela Alley; Iron District
Cosmic storm relapsed into silence, forces were allayed and quiet spread over the Earth. The world held its breath as man took his first insecure steps exploring fearfully his living space.
At the beginning they were only few. Widely spread and connected loosely, they soon started to form into collectives. They learned that fighting was more effective in a group and deployed the power of the community for their expansion into foreign realm.
Generations came and went, settled vast parts of the earth subjugating it. But with banning the forces the conquerors - unity began to crumble. The victors cracked at their triumph and a time arrived where men had to fear nothing more than themselves.
Soulless they now lived in a world they had created to their imagination but which could not be more hostile. Again they were lonesome, in quest of fraternity and an accompaniment that could ease the pain of desolation.
+ + +
As Jack awoke he first of all felt his aching bones and a dull throbbing in his head. Whimpering quietly he dug out from under the pillows to get up, but his body was too weak.
Exhausted from the strain he slumped and looked up. Hundreds of cracks crossed the ceiling he was staring at and suddenly his memory was back. He wasn't at home, he wasn't laying in his bed and that weren't his sheet he was sleeping in..
He was with Ennis.
Ennis had found him yesterday and had taken him home with him. And he had gone with him. He had been so sick that he had clutched at every straw he could get. But now, in the light of day, a deep feeling of shame and embarrassment took hold of him. How could he have done this yesterday? How could he - sick and crippled as he was - have entrusted himself to a complete stranger and accept to be taken home by him? Because - effectively he barely knew Ennis.
Sure, they had been talking, had slowly shown tiny insights to their lives, but nothing you could really imply to the character of the man.
And yet Ennis had something that breathed trust to Jack - contrary to his fear of people that accompanied him since his assault. It was that aura of untouchable that conciliated strength. It was his quiet, calm and biding being that allowed Jack to breathe in his presence, and it was the soft and hesitant voice that encouraged him to open up.
Lost in thoughts Jack looked around the room he was in. Faded curtains covered little windows keeping away the daylight that lightened grey and diffusely the room. An old wardrobe stood in the room, a chequered shirt hanging on its door.
Probably one Ennis liked to wear often.
The wardrobe door was lightly ajar. The only sign of liveliness speaking in that room, showing that it was used by a human being. Loneliness talked to Jack from every corner of the room, and here in this room he heard the echo of his own four walls.
The clanging of cupboard doors and dishes drew from the kitchen to his ear, the smell of coffee seduced his nose and made his stomach growl.
Familiar sounds and smells that immediately brought up a sense of home that made him fear. He would not be here forever, was on a journey through. A host in a foreign life - no reason to feel more at home here than necessary. The pain would be bigger when he was back to his own apartment where the quiet sounded louder than the roar of an aeroplane flying over the houses.
Frantically Jack tried to distance himself from everything that flew onto him, intimately connected to Ennis. And the fact that it was connected with Ennis brought up again the well known feeling of familiarity and congeniality he had felt since Ennis had been in front of his door for the first time.
In this bed he felt helpless and at mercy - sick and paralysed as he was - and yet so safe and welcome that he felt nausea.
Deadpan he stared at the door as he heard Ennis' steps get closer. Ennis pushed the door open with his foot. In his hand he balanced with utmost concentration a plate - which made Jack smile involuntarily - loaded with all you needed for breakfast.
With wide eyes Jack followed Ennis' every move who was smiling at him wordless, nearly shyly, put down the plate beside the bed and sat on a chair nearside.
“I... I made you breakfast,“ Ennis said and harrumphed. “I don't know what you eat so I did a bit of everything and... Well...“
He stopped embarrassed and looked at Jack. “You're hungry at all?“ he asked quietly. “How are you?“ he added hesitantly as if that question was an intrusion into his private space.
Jack looked at him smilingly. “I'm better, thank you. And yes, a bit hungry but... you needn't serve me like in a hotel... I can eat what you eat...“
Ennis laughed without humour. “That wouldn't be a good idea, Jack. I eat little, and the little I eat comes from cans. That's not how you get better, probably worse...“
“Where's all that stuff from then?“ Jack asked in surprise.
“Done shopping this morning,“ Ennis said reluctantly and a slight blush crept up his cheeks.
“Oh,“ said Jack and looked at him, baffled. “But... but don't you have to work? What time is it already?“
“I took time off today,“ Ennis whispered and looked to the floor.
“You did that?“ Jack asked aghast and leaned back powerless into the cushions. Ennis nodded.
“I... I can't accept this Ennis,“ Jack said decisive and got ready to stand up. “This is your life, I - I can't just gatecrash here and turn everything upside down and... I will never be able to pay you back for all of this. I appreciate what you did for me yesterday... really... and I'm in your debt for the rest of my life but... but... take me home Ennis,“ he added quietly and looked pleadingly at Ennis.
Lost in thoughts Ennis nibbled at his thumb nail and didn't talk for a while.
“Ennis... please...,“ whispered Jack and felt a lump spread in his throat that took away his air to breathe.
Ennis looked at him. “You're sick Jack,“ he finally said quietly. “Who takes care of you when you're at home, huh?“
“Me?“ Jack said softly and it was more a question than an answer, because he didn't really know at that moment if he would be able to care for himself. His body definitely spoke a different language.
“Damn, Jack,“ Ennis said with vehemence in his voice that surprised both of them. “Yesterday you nearly died under my hands. I would have taken you to a hospital if you hadn't asked me not to do it. It's a miracle you are so much better today. Now be reasonable and stay until you are ok...,“ he added and his words swung not so much of a request than a plea, as he watched Jack expectantly, his lips pressed closed.
Jack fumbled at the bed spread and some minutes passed until he looked up again.
“Why are you doing all this?“ he asked quietly and shrewd eyes looked at Ennis how shrugged embarrassed.
He answered Jack's intensive stare without a word and then looked around in his bedroom until his gaze fell back onto Jack looking quietly at him, seeing in Ennis' eyes what his heart had understood.
He had no debt to Ennis if he stayed with him until he was healthy enough to go back home. His acceptance to stay was his payback for Ennis' help to care for him. They were brothers in solitude and merciful. Samaritans in need.
Ennis for Jack and Jack for Ennis.
Smiling, Jack slumped back into the pillows. “Ok my friend,“ he whispered and took Ennis' hand. “I accept your offer. And now... let's eat breakfast ok?“
Ennis returned Jack's smile with relief, put the plate right on the bed, passed a mug of coffee to Jack, and in silence, they began to eat.
It was as if they had always had breakfast together. One passed on to the other what he needed. Often a look was enough, a quiet anticipating, and the other one received what he wanted. Sometimes their fingers touched when Jack took the salt from Ennis or Ennis got the honey from Jack, and every time it happened they held their breath for a moment, looked in each other's eyes and smiled, embarrassed.
But never - never once - one of them lowered the gaze.
When they were sated and Ennis had taken the plate back to the kitchen taking Jack's medication with him, Jack taking them without complaints, Ennis sat on the bed near Jack and they talked about this and that quietly until Jack said after some time:
“Friend, that's more words than you've spoken in the last months.“
And Ennis replied: “That's the most I've spoken in the entire year...“
They smiled at each other and a familiar peace settled over them. They let their eyes talk, lived with a sense of quiet wonder that harmony of togetherness, and slowly, slowly their hearts accepted that they had found what they had stopped looking for a long time ago.
A friend.
+ + +
Ennis was sitting on his sofa late at night and listened to the silence that didn't sound as void as it had only a few days ago, now as it was protecting the sleep of a sick man in the next room.
He was exhausted but for the first time in a long time he felt satisfied with it. His day had been full of daily chores, as usual. Shopping, cooking - he even cleaned some - and in between he had taken care that Jack took his pills and slept enough. And when the patient had showed signs of boredom he sat near his bed and they played cards.
Ennis quickly had found out that Jack not only was a lousy player but also a lousy loser, and they spent some hour playing and arguing over some move until Ennis had had enough and let Jack win at every third hand.
Jack did as if he hadn't noticed that Ennis let him gain one victory after the other - and Ennis didn't lose a word about Jack trying to cheat from time to time to be able to save his face and score a win without anybody's help.
Ennis smiled as he thought back at this, and he was able to say with certainty that he hadn't lived a day in his life where he had been more satisfied in the evening than today.
He lay on the sofa relaxed and let his head drop onto the soft pillow he had taken from the bedroom. His eyes drifted to the familiar white substance untouched on the table, and with a sense of inner calm he turned the other way and closed his eyes.
+ + +
tbc