From bad to worse...
First of all, thank you so much for your responses to my previous post. I will reply to you all eventually, in fact I was planning to, but now something terrible happened and I don't think I can respond coherently right now.
I came home from work early today because something didn't feel right and my smallest cat hadn't come to breakfast, so I wanted to go look for her. While I was doing so I noticed someone had tried to call me, so I called them and to my horror was connected with Pet Rescue, and my beautiful baby is no more. She was hit by a speeder last night.
She was only 18 months old, and when I adopted her at 8 weeks she was underdeveloped and sick, and I thought she wouldn't make it but she did, and she was the sweetest little cat ever and why, WHY THE FUCK, does this need to happen to us right now?
The people who have her keep asking me what I want to do with her, and I just don't know, and all I can do is shake and cry and take valium, because I've never had to think about funerals and cremations and viewing the body because she was only 18 fucking months old, damn it! And my best friend is sick and my parents and brother are all working, and all I have here is one very confused kitty who doesn't understand why I'm so upset and where her sister's got to.
I know to other people this may sound pathetic, but I love my cats like they're my babies, and I just don't know what to do with myself now. I keep thinking I will wake up and it won't be true. She was alive yesterday and now she's gone, and I still have to go to work tomorrow and plan my trip to Berlin and do stupid, unimportant things, and my baby's never coming home again.
I came home from work early today because something didn't feel right and my smallest cat hadn't come to breakfast, so I wanted to go look for her. While I was doing so I noticed someone had tried to call me, so I called them and to my horror was connected with Pet Rescue, and my beautiful baby is no more. She was hit by a speeder last night.
She was only 18 months old, and when I adopted her at 8 weeks she was underdeveloped and sick, and I thought she wouldn't make it but she did, and she was the sweetest little cat ever and why, WHY THE FUCK, does this need to happen to us right now?
The people who have her keep asking me what I want to do with her, and I just don't know, and all I can do is shake and cry and take valium, because I've never had to think about funerals and cremations and viewing the body because she was only 18 fucking months old, damn it! And my best friend is sick and my parents and brother are all working, and all I have here is one very confused kitty who doesn't understand why I'm so upset and where her sister's got to.
I know to other people this may sound pathetic, but I love my cats like they're my babies, and I just don't know what to do with myself now. I keep thinking I will wake up and it won't be true. She was alive yesterday and now she's gone, and I still have to go to work tomorrow and plan my trip to Berlin and do stupid, unimportant things, and my baby's never coming home again.