9 years ago this month, I suffered the momentous depressive episode that made me realize that therapy hadn't fixed me, and that I was probably going to need medication for the rest of my life ( Read more... )

I honestly tried to write and couldn't. I honestly tried to practice my violin on two separate occasions today and I couldn't- I keep fucking everything up, I can't do things I could do two days ago, and it's just making me more and more frustrated ( Read more... )

When I miss a day of my anti-depressant my withdrawal symptoms start within 12 hours of missing the dose: typically dizziness and sometimes tremors. I've never missed enough doses for it to get worse than that and some nausea. I took my last pill Sunday night and had no refills; Monday was crazy busy, I didn't make time to get on the phone with ( Read more... )

Penny Arcade had a comic on Monday addressing the issue of whether psychopharmaceuticals impact creativity. The comic plays it flippantly, because it is a comic, but the accompanying newspost was very thoughtful.

But that’s how this idea is generally presented: madness as a supernatural power source, as opposed to a seemingly inviting bowl of ( Read more... )

+ Two more days of work before my vacation ( Read more... )

I am finding this day so unendingly tedious, you would not believe. I feel as if I'm about to fly to pieces. Wish I had a handgun to shoot the wall with, perhaps it would give me focus.I may be about to pick a jury, which will not improve matters. If there's anything more tedious than selecting a jury, I do not know what it is ( Read more... )

Well I'm feeling better physically, so yay ( Read more... )

But wakes suck more. If I ran a funeral home, I'd put a wet bar in there. New York State health regulations be damned ( Read more... )

Gram died during the night. Mom called me while I was getting ready for work.

I haven't really cried but I'm still so fucking tense it's starting to feel like I'll never not be. I could crack walnuts with my neck muscles right now, honestly ( Read more... )

Still feeling undercurrents this morning. It'll probably be back for real tonight. I can't wait. :P