I don't even know who reads this anymore. I just want to write, whether or not anyone see it. I was reading over old journal entries tonight, by the way not a smart thing to do when you are already in a melancholy mood. I seriously burst into tears when I read about going to the movies with the grams, even as I type this I'm near tears again. It's ( Read more... )

It's been probably over a month since I really updated. I guess I was to busy traveling the US to stop and write anything. But I think now I will be writing more. Ryan got a in store marketing job, so I'm home alone till 7:30 most days now. Today is his first day. Being home alone is hard, usually in times like this I'd get on the phone with my ( Read more... )

As a kid I never thought about what I would do when I live in a place where I could hear someone elses music through the WALL. Seriously how loud do you need it to hear the neighbors bass?!? It wouldn't be as bad, but it's all the time! it's not just weekends or just at night. It's all the time and today it started at 3:30pm. I even think it's the ( Read more... )

Saw Fast and Furious today. It was good. Not my favorite one, but still had the awesome action car scenes, so it did its job. The rest of the day Ryan and I hung out at the Alleys. We then headed out to the casino for dinner and a little gambling. We lost mainly. So all in all it wasn't that great of a night. Ryan and I are now home watching Step ( Read more... )

I went into one of my "depressed, antisocial, don't know what's going on" thing again. I really have no idea what brings them on. But when I have one I can't talk, I haven't a clue what to say. It hurts mentality and emotionally not being able to talk about it. I just seem to get so unhappy and cry and I don't know why. And because of it, I push ( Read more... )

I have just found this out about myself. I really do need to be needed. I like helping people and when I no longer feel needed I get very depressed. Maybe that's why I choose people who need to be fixed to have around me. Maybe I like fixing people. And I know that some people can't be fixed, but I certainly like to try. I worry constantly and then ( Read more... )

It's always about the over thinking. I need to just see where things go and not expect anything. So many things seem like they have shifted over the past year and I'm not sure how to get back to the way it was. It takes just a moment to have everything you thought you knew ripped away from you. Everything you cared about torn apart. Just one moment ( Read more... )

I wrote this the other night...and no I don't really care to hear anyone's comments on it.
Sometimes I can be so stupid. I want attention so bad. I really do hate myself at times. I throw myself at the first descent looking guy ever though I know that there is absolutely no interest on their part. I'm a fucking idiot. And now I get to cry myself to ( Read more... )

( is some answers. )

I am just so angry ( Read more... )