I tend to write a lot
Work sucked today. It really did. It wasn't too bad for the first two hours even though it was busy, but then again, I can't do any of the stuff I need to do in those first hours. After my break the shit hit the fan and I was running around getting things for people and trying to get my jobs done. I finished late, about twenty minutes, which isn't much, but seeing as I had my uncle waiting in the carpark to take me for a drive, it was a lot. I really, really hate the Sunday customers. And I hate being put on on a Sunday. Sunday isn't a rest day anymore. Sundays are more busy than Saturdays some weekends, and I can't get all my jobs done while serving in express. I can't cover people's breaks and serve for half an hour and then cram an hour's worth of work into an already overtime 20 minutes. It pisses me off because I'm expected to have everything done, and still serve at the same time. The manager who does the rosters doesn't know how busy it gets because she never works at this time. And it's not just me; Joe was in a shit of a mood all afternoon because it was busy and he wasn't getting his things done either. Sundays suck. Can't people rest? Why is it that the only ones who are hung over are working?
I stayed at Mark's last night. I had planned to do study, but of course I didn't. That's for tomorrow. Now I have to cram a whole lot in. I'll make it though; I have to. I might do some sociology when I get off this before I go to bed. The study itself is going alright; it's just the time I'm having problems with.
Louise has acquired a new boyfriend. We'll name him James. He seems pretty alright. A whole lot better than Andrew, that's certain. A big improvement. He seems nice enough. He's only new though, even though for some weird reason he stayed here last night. He's kinda country-ish looking. Apparently she's been "hooning" around the main street in his car, even though it's quite impossible to hoon in an auto. He reminds me a bit of a guy I had a fair bit of history with back in highschool, but only because of the way he looks. Hopefully he doesn't steal shit from us because then I would have to completely make Louise regret it.
I just had an MSN fight with Mark. He got the shits because I was eating dinner and it was too loud through the headset. Then he refused to call me back, and then got the shits and left. When I'm stressed out from work, he's not supposed to make me angrier.
We've had an up and down day though. He gets the shits because I don't ever really want to have sex. The truth is; I am sick of saying no. I am sick of being asked. I will go to him for sex when I feel like it. I'm stressed out. I shouldn't even have time to scratch myself at the moment with the amount of things I'm doing, but I don't committ easily to anything, and the fact that I'm behind is kind of screwing me up. I feel down a lot, and sometimes there isn't even a reason. I really am stressed out. I need a couple of days off (more than two, maybe a week?) to get everything sorted. And this driving test on Thursday isn't helping either.
He got upset today because apparently I was really distant in the shower. I stand on the wall alot, and now he's taking it to mean that I'm uncomfortable around him. If the truth be told; I'm uncomfortable in his shower, in his bedroom, in his house, and around his people. I don't like showering there knowing that Mischa, or anyone else, is only metres away. With everything they've put me through, the realisation that I am actually back inside that house kind of makes me jitter in my stomach a little bit. Sometimes I don't even know what I'm doing there with those people. I would definately much rather be at my house, but I'm trying to play the nice girlfriend and make a little compromise. We don't really stay there often, and we're usually locked away in his room for most of it. The main reason that I stay there is when I have to start work early (like 6 or 7am) and in that case no one else is awake when we have our showers.
He said that if I wasn't comfortable around him (I didn't tell him that I wasn't comfortable at his house) then how would I go living with him. That's something we've talked about a lot. He started looking up places to live on the net, and we actually found a pretty good one. It's about a five minute walk from where we both work, and is less than $200 a week. He did a rough calculation for rent, electricity, internet and food per week and it looks affordable. It would be hard though, considering we're not used to paying for things like that. I might talk to Melissa and see what she can tell us about renting and roughly how much things cost. We don't really have any furniture though, which kind of sucks. We wouldn't have any money to buy any either. He's got a double bed, a massive TV and cabinet, and I guess we could take the cupboards he has. There isn't a whole house of furniture between us though. He's going to ring the agent tomorrow to look at this house. I'm not sure, but I guess I could be a little excited. I'm more scared than anything about moving out. I can't cook, and I am so not domesticated. I don't know how we'd survive to be honest.
He's all for seriously looking into getting this place. I'm not so sure. Just scared really. Being out on my own is a little daunting, considering the lazy nature that I have when it comes to health and housework. I could try it, but I'm too worried about things that could happen but probably won't. We'll just see I guess. It could seriously happen like right now, but I don't know if I want it to. I want to be out of this house, and I kind of want to be in my own house, but I just don't know who I belong with at the moment. I would feel horrible for leaving Mum, even though I hate cleaning and looking after Bub. She would hate me for abandoning her and not being able to do the things that she's meant to be doing. Mark would be so hurt if he moved out and I didn't go with him. I'm just confused. I just don't want to think about that right now.
I'm going through my random friends on Bebo and deleting them and I've realised something; no one really uses Bebo anymore, except for Drena and OYETTS. But I guess that's cause I'm 19 and it's a 14 year old kid thing really. Oh well. I'm starting to use it more to talk to people on OYETTS and keep up with the page. I just thought I'd delete my 300+ random friends.
I'm kind of not really in a very good mood, which sucks. I don't know if I will get any study done. I'm not looking forward to getting up to drag a boy to school tomorrow.