sexuality intro
I don't even know where to begin!
I'm bi. I've been with my boyfriend for four years, but in that time I've been with a few girls. Nothing too serious though. I love my boyfriend, and everything about girls is just so different, you can't even compare. I prefer girls though, but I'm not leaving my boyfriend any time soon, especially not while I love him.
I think sexuality is a fluid thing. That is, I don't think that there are "set" sexualities. I only say I'm bisexual because that's how society's labelled how I feel. I love girls, I love boys, I love sex, I'd fall in love with anyone. The terms "straight", "homosexual" and "bisexual" annoy me. There are other terms too, like "pansexual" which I do like more (it means that you're up for any sort of sex with anyone just as long as all parties consent). I don't think that sexuality is set because I don't think it's possible to just be one thing for your whole existence. I think that's where most people get confused with the whole bisexual thing. People doubt you because they don't understand how you can be with a person of one sex, but still be attracted to the other. I think sexuality changes, and that at one point in your life you could be classed as one sexuality, and then your feelings and emotions can change and you can be classed as another sexuality. I think that attractions can come and go and at times be more strong then other times.
Sexuality is natural. If you look back in history (and I'm not sure exactly where to look but I know it's there!) there are examples of changing sexualities (I am going to research this for the dot com!). I think it's only in modern society that sexuality has become a touchy subject and that people of sexualities that don't fit what's "socially acceptable" have been cast out.
It really irritates me when people criticise people for just being who they are. Sexuality has a lot to do with genetics and a lot to do with nurture. It hasn't been pin pointed yet (I'll research this too!). People are who they are, and you can't change that. And when you're "different" it takes courage to be who you are. How can you criticise someone for having courage that you couldn't dream of? Unfortunately, a lot of people don't see it that way.
I had a relatively easy "coming out". I never really did actually. I told my boyfriend without a second's thought, because we were together, and I knew he wouldn't mind. He was all for the whole "we can have threesomes" thing, which is typical I guess. I remember worrying about telling my friends, and told them all one by one when I'd figured out where they stood on the matter. I lost one, but that was something that didn't bother me as we weren't that close anyway. I remember waiting for ages to tell one friend (one of my closest) because I wasn't sure how she woud react, but by the time I got around to telling her she'd figured it out anyway and was cool with it. We actually talk about it a fair bit. She's always excited to hear about when I fall in "like" with a girl.
I haven't told my family, but I doubt they are so stupid as to not figure it out. I doubt they'd care if I brought a girl home one day. They might, but I dont' even really know. I don't broadcast it out there because it's not something that affects who I am. If people want to know then I'll answer questions, but when I meet new people I'm not "hey I'm Trina I'm bisexual blah blah blah". It doesn't matter. I don't make a point of telling people. I figure that my work friends might actually realise it one day when I start making out with a girl at the pub, because I don't think they've noticed that it says it on my Facebook page.
My boyfriend's family has had a lot of trouble with it. I invited a girl down and we were going to have some fun and that started a whole lot of problems for us, which have lead us to break up several times (we're good now though, had a lot of rough patches), have lead both of us to be a little depressed (and I do remember taking a whole lot of painkillers one afternoon). There was a very long time (this all happened about a year ago) where I wasn't allowed at my boyfriend's house, and with the way I was being treated I didn't want to go there anyway. It's only been in the last two months that they've apologised for the way they've treated me (I didn't apologise to them, everything I said I meant and was only in retalliation) and only in the last month that I've began to feel comfortable in his house. I still don't really, but I am happy to stay locked away in his room. They treated me in a not very family like manner at all, and it was surprising how some little tiny words could cause so much damage. I'm not changing who I am for them at all, and they don't realise that my boyfriend was actually going to be with this girl as well. I wasn't cheating, it was all sorted. Even now, I haven't technically cheated; I've always been allowed to be with girls to an extent.
It hurts to have experienced first hand just how hurtful some people can be when it comes to not being "like everyone else". The worst has been my boyfriend's little sister, who is only 14 and thinks she owns everything. She really is a brat. They spied on me for the longest time. I don't regret what happened though. I am who I am and people like it, and some don't. It doesn't bother me really. I know who they are and where they stand now, and as long as I'm in love my boyfriend will stand by me.