Cup Day
Today is Melbourne Cup day, and I'm writing at 8am because I'm guessing I probably won't be able to write coherently by the end of the day. Especially seeing as we're starting drinking at 10am. I'm a little nervous, but trying to be hopeful. I resisted the urge to start my double dosage of medication this morning. I think one pill screws me up enough in relation to alcohol. At the moment I don't want to make an ass of myself. And I don't want to feel like shit tomorrow. Or this afternoon, for that matter.
Mark came home sick from work yesterday. He was home when I got home. He hasn't actually been sick yet, but he's just been resting and sleeping mostly. I really hope he doesn't have that nasty gastro bug. I couldn't handle that. He's still sticking with his plans for today, even though I warned him he could get busted by work because he was sick yesterday and partying today. He's remaining sober though, which is something.
My nose piercing is definately infected on the inside of my nose again. It hurts like hell. I'm thinking it could have something to do with the fact that I've just recently started washing my face with face was often again. I put some more metho on it, hoping it will get better really soon.
I'm still talking to that girl from last night. I went to sleep, woke up nine hours later, had a shower and she's still here. That counts for something I guess. She hasn't killed herself yet, and I'm really trying to convince her not to but she's not listening to me. It's not her fault though. I know exactly how she feels. After so many people telling you you're worthless and you don't deserve anything, it's a little weird to have someone try to talk you out of what everyone has talked you into. I really am worried. I don't want her to hurt herself. And I feel bad, because I know in about ten minutes or so I will be getting off the computer to go and get ready to go out.
As worried as I am about her, I'm really excited about Cup Day. Last year I had no definite plans, and was upset when no one seemed to want to do anything with me. This year I am involved in plan making, and we're all doing something. I'm leaning towards wearing my black dress that reminds me of Blair off Gossip Girl. I also have a pink dress that is a touch more flashy. I do not have a hat, or a fascinator, or anything at all. I bought a hat last year and ended up not wearing it. I figure I'll buy an awesome hat for one year when I actually go to Melbourne.
I didn't mention last night that after I wrote that letter to my younger self I went and posted it on Facebook and tagged a few people in it. Just the usual mostly, Mark, Dirk, Ally, Charlotte, a friend from uni, Claire and a Facebook friend. Dirk has commented on it already, and so has a man I did my digital photography course with at TAFE, who I found on Facebook a few days ago and have been chatting with. I tagged Melissa in the note, for no reason really. I haven't talked to her in ages, and she hasn't shown any inclination of feeling bad for practically ignoring me. Maybe I'm testing her, to see if she'll acknowledge my existence now. I only realised after I logged off that maybe I subconsciously tagged her to let her know how I feel about her. There's a fair few references to not wasting time on people who don't like you, and about how girls are just as bad as boys when it comes to screwing people over. I'm wondering if she'll notice that. Or if she'll even notice that I tagged her in it at all.
Now to get ready for the day. And yes, there will be many, many photos.