"Hey, Kelli. I'm thinking about you a lot right now, as my cousin has just lost the second of her twins, born prematurely last month ( Read more... )

On Christmas Eve, a woman at work asked me if I had any kids. I paused for a moment ( Read more... )

It's getting close to that day... the anniversary of that horrible day. Less than a month. I usually make an event for it on Facebook. Luke's Birthday in "heaven"... If there is a heaven, he's there. Not sure if I will this year. People are so judgmental ( Read more... )

I just go through phases where every birth announcement I see is a dart to the heart and other times, it's not as difficult. Never easy, but less difficult. Right now, for a reason I can't explain, it's a tough time. And then there's the guilt for not being ecstatic for the new mom, especially the ones who have given birth to their rainbow baby. ( ( Read more... )

My mom and I went to Calvary Cemetery a couple of days ago. I had gotten Christmas flowers to put at Luke's grave. His resting place is among many others of babies. When I rounded the corner and saw the graveyard I was amazed at all the Christmas decorations all over. Wreathes, little Christmas trees, toys, stuffed animals, reindeer made out of ( Read more... )

Watched for a second time. The first time I told the internet it made me wish I had spent my high school years with kindhearted people. I feel the need to clarify ( Read more... )

This morning I am thankful for lots of things. I'm not in the greatest of moods, but I'm still thankful ( Read more... )

I don't feel like the part of myself that feels low is my true self. Most of my life I have been a content person. Really, my mood and lack of motivation started around 2005--after the last true summer on The Hill in Cherokee. Immediately after I was diagnosed with Diabetes. A few months after that, I was in the major car accident with my parents ( Read more... )

I posted this in the Grieving Mothers group on Facebook. I just wanted to document it here and I can't write about it any more right now ( Read more... )

So many things remind me of Luke, which leads to to thinking of how I was treated after he died ( Read more... )