Intensely tired. Something won't let me sleep. God knows I've tried today. Finally crawled from bed a bit after 7 pm, my eyes scary blurry, trying to convince myself it's just from trying to sleep for so long unsuccessfully. I'm avoiding looking out of my left eye, just in case it's still blurry ( Read more... )

sun's setting now. my desk is still cluttered with everything imaginable and I'm going through a pink shoebox full of pictures and poetry, stripper memories and other people's wedding memorabilia. my soda is gone, my energy is wanning. R.E.M is playing, aptly, Everybody Hurts. i don't want to be doing this, but i don't know what else to do. at the ( Read more... )

I love being pregnant ( Read more... )

I slept to the point where the dreams were no longer mine. I knew I should know these people crowding the theater, but all of them were strangers. One was asking me difficult mathmatical questions--How many hours in a day? how many minutes in a day? do you want to be my friend--and we were all being evacuated because a fight had broken out during ( Read more... )

If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are ( Read more... )

After my two hour self-torture. Why did I keep those emails, why do I feel the need to pull them out when everything is going so well ( Read more... )

Sometimes I forget. I forget that I am weak, that I am too close to edge of life, that I can not handle the truth. I am on frontline, watching people struggle with problems imfathomable to me. I see suffering, I see how sometimes life is not fair to others ( Read more... )

it's one thing to know that you don't know, but it's quite another to almost be paralyzed by the thought that you don't know ( Read more... )