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Dentist: I don’t know why people are so afraid of the dentist.
Me: Because you’ve got sharp pointy things aimed at my gums and I can’t see what you’re doing down there? No offense, man.

Not that I’m scared of the dentist, I’d just rather jump out of an airplane. Or hit my toe with a hammer. Today was the root scaling thing that I’ve been sort of ( Read more... )

Lemon-stealing fuckers strike again. And they were still sort of green-- I hope whoever eats them gets the runs ( Read more... )

I have a ton of grasshoppers in the yard, and OMG carnage.

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