I spent a good portion - ok most - of my life depressed and wishing it was.over already and tonight I realized that I no longer feel that way. In fact I'm extremely happy, so much so that I'm not ready to go because I have so much to live for. It's a weird feeling, alien, but nice.

The world won't be ending in December, and for once I'm pretty ( Read more... )

 God dammit I want pizza.  But I'm trying to die-t.  I'm always trying to die-t.  I even took out some shrimp to make a spicy shrimpy food thing.  But I don't feel like cooking.  Besides, nothing fills up the big black hole of negativity inside me like pizza.  I can pack it in like so much paste, and forget how much I hate myself in the resulting ( Read more... )

A company I applied to in Asheville, contacted me for a phone interview. Huh. Of course I did the interview - thought it went rather well actually. Was supposed to hear from him today (yesterday as I post this), to schedule either a face-to-face or conference call interview with the bosses - but no dice. The job sounds great, the salary is ( Read more... )

Truthfully I did nothing but read HP fan fics. I stopped paying any attention to the news. Stopped watching tv. Stopped thinking about how I fucked up my life etc. Just read fan fiction. It was very therapeutic actually. My anxiety was very, very low - I didn't need to take ONE ativan the entire time. My stress level was a lot lower as I ( Read more... )

I've gone to ground - I guess I do it to a certain extent every year, but this year I've gone a bit overboard. So I've been isolating, stopped reading the news or trying to leave the house. Don't have the desire to care, so I don't. Depressed? Of course! What else is new? Although what I noticed for the first time in my recollection is that I'm ( Read more... )

I am SO sleepy. I barely made it out of bed this morning. I'm on my second cup of coffee - and I NEVER do that. I'm drowsing at my desk. Unfortunately my work is quite boring, and that's so not helping. I just woke up from one of those drowsing spells to find coffee, that I forgot to swallow, still in my mouth! That was an odd experience. I ( Read more... )

Many things going through my head today - don't really know where to start in writing things down ( Read more... )

I did nothing over the weekend. I hopped out quickly to the post office around 10am on Sat, and that was it ( Read more... )