owl to Sirius

[profmoony]

Padfoot -

I was wondering if I might stop by Gryffindor Slytherin wherever it is you're staying now and see how you're doing. Are you free this evening?

cheers,

Moony

Comments

[toujours_sirius]

Moony,

For a while, I was holing up in Ravenclaw, but now I'm back in Slytherin. You know, I'm really starting to get confused about what house I belong in...but apparently it's not Hufflepuff (or any of those new houses for the really crazy people).

And I'd love for you to come by. Harry, Ginny, and Ron are all out and about, so it'd be nice to have some company. I'll make sure to lower the wards.

Padfoot

[profmoony]

Remus hadn't been to Slytherin since the whole fuss about Voldemort being unpopcorned. He stepped into the common room with a slight expression of distaste - old habits died hard - and saw Sirius lying in a hammock (of all things), apparently waiting for Remus to show up. "Hello, Padfoot," he said. "How are you doing? I brought you a present." Under normal circumstances, he would've brought booze, but he didn't want to encourage Sirius. So instead, he'd brought the first Nick Drake album (he had two copies). He'd always found Nick Drake very soothing.

[toujours_sirius]

Unfortunately, the hammock in the Slythendor Common Room had never seen its intended use (at least as far as Sirius's own experiences went; he had no clue what Harry and Ginny might or might not have done in it), but it still made for a comfortable place to lie down and relax.

"Hey, Moony," Sirius said from his perch, turning his head to look over at Remus. "I'm actually doing...all right. Better, at least." He slid down off the hammock and took the offered album. After inspecting it, he smiled softly. "Thanks, man. I remember you dedicated one of his songs to me once. And I've even got a record player to play it on - just charmed it to work in here, actually. And to fly."

It was one of the several projects Sirius had involved himself in since he finally awoke from his potion-induced stupor.

"Care for a drink? It's pretty well stocked here, and I haven't dipped into it for some time now." This was Sirius's way of telling Remus he had been mostly prudent with the alcohol, just as he had promised.

[profmoony]

Remus actually did sort of want a drink, but once again he didn't want to provide any encouragement. "No thank you... but I wouldn't mind a cup of tea. You know, seeing as how I'm so tepid and all." He permitted himself a brief sardonic smile, then sat down on the couch and crossed his legs, regarding Sirius thoughtfully. "You do seem like you're doing better. How did things go with Lily?"

[toujours_sirius]

Sirius smirked at Remus and then went over to a small cabinet next to the locked unit where he stored his Firewhisky. Opening it, he pulled out a tea kettle and two mugs. As he poured water from his wand into the tea kettle and then tapped it to start it heating, he said, "Things...went with Lily. I mean, she took it well, for the most part. I think she was probably relieved, although she never said as much."

He turned around to face Remus and leant against the cabinet while the water heated. "Can't quite say the same for myself, though," he continued matter-of-factly. The grief was still there, but now that some time had passed, it was easier to keep it walled off. "Poor Lily ended up playing nursemaid to me for several days while I co-opted her room and subsisted on Dreamless Sleep Potion and the occasional meal."

The rather neutral look in his face shifted to something a little darker. "He was worse to her than what we had talked about - the other James, I mean. Some of it didn't make sense, and other parts were just plain mean

[profmoony]

"I'm all right. I've been working on some class plans and that sort of thing. Doing a lot of thinking. I played a good prank on Cox." Remus smiled, thinking about it. "You might have heard about it from him. He's probably still gnashing his teeth about it."

He leaned back on the couch and took a sip of tea, his smile fading as Sirius's words about Lily and the "other" James sank in. Every time he heard a new revelation about the person he thought had been his old friend, it made him feel more angry and sad and helpless - both for himself and for Lily and Sirius, who had been hurt far worse than he had been. "I suppose it shouldn't surprise me, that he said those things. But it still hasn't gotten any easier to hear about it." He paused, and added in a lowered voice, "Merlin, I miss James so much. The one we remember, I mean." It was the first time he'd said that out loud for a very long time.

[toujours_sirius]

"No, I didn't hear about this prank," Sirius said, his expression shifting to a look of amusement. "I reckon Cox probably doesn't want to give me any more ammunition. What'd you do to him?"

Sirius blew into his teacup, causing the steam to rise up and spread a warm, damp flush across his face. He was about to take a sip when he caught what Remus had said. It was a sentiment Sirius had expressed so many times, but he had always been one to wear his heart on his sleeve. Remus, on the other hand, was more guarded, and so the significance of the sentiment was not lost on Sirius.

He rested his cup on his knee and looked over at Remus. "I know." He did, even if Remus hadn't said it much before. "Me, too. All the time. He - he just always...he was a mate, you know?" It was impossible to sum up all of what James was in a few pithy words. "If he were the one who had come back...."

Sirius drifted off, shaking his head. After a moment, he picked up his cup of tea and took a sip.

[profmoony]

"He decided to leave his pony in my bedroom as a prank," Remus explained. "I'm not sure how he got in, but... anyway, after a bit of negotiation, I returned the pony - riding on it naked. The look on Cox's face was absolutely priceless. I wish I'd had a camera." He couldn't help laughing at the memory.

"James would've appreciated it, I'm sure." He took another sip of tea. "I thought I'd gotten over it, you know," he added. "I mean... him being gone. It was so long ago, but... I suppose you never really get over things like that. And having that -" He was about to say "imposter" but that wasn't the right word. It was James, in a manner of speaking, just not their James. "- that different version of him around, and realizing it wasn't the one we remembered... it sort of brought it all back. Missing him, I mean." He shrugged and sipped some more tea.

[toujours_sirius]

"I wish you'd had a camera, too," Sirius laughed. "Well, if such an opportunity ever comes up again, let me know and I'll join you on horseback...although, on second thought, I think that sight just might kill the poor man, and I rather like the bloke and would like to keep him around, you know?"

In spite of, or perhaps as a result of, their continual banter, Sirius genuinely liked Cox and considered him a good friend and a kindred spirit of sorts. And Cox had been good to Lily. Especially considering the tragic situation they currently found themselves in, Sirius really couldn't ask for more from him.

"James would have appreciated it," Sirius agreed in a quieter tone. "And...no, I don't think it's something any of us will ever truly be over. I know I'm not - and...and I don't want to be, because that would mean I've forgotten him, or I don't care, and

[profmoony]

Remus had to laugh again at the thought of the two of them both riding naked on Red Baron. "Cox would have a heart attack. And he'd deserve it, I think. I have no idea why you like him, honestly. Well... he is rather amusing, but I can't really have much affection for someone who thinks I'm an insufferable prick and refers to me as Hannibal Lecter

[toujours_sirius]

Sirius laughed again as well. "I don't understand why you don't like him. I mean, yeah, he's a pain in the arse, rough around the edges and all that, but he's got a good heart. He cares about his friends, you know? You two must've got off on the wrong foot. Either that or he's jealous because you got to sleep with me and he.... Never mind, that doesn't work." Sirius smirked triumphantly. "Eh, don't take his jibes seriously. He's the only person I'd let call me Fido, because I know it's all done out of love, or something resembling that, at the very least."

His smirk softened into a faraway, pensive expression, his gaze fixed on a point just past Remus's head. "You never really had anyone to talk to about it - what happened to James and Lily. I...dunno if there was even a funeral." He sighed. "I suppose neither of us had a chance to grieve properly."

His eyes shifted slightly so they were focusing on Remus's. "Maybe this time I should let myself heal and you should stop yourself covering it up. I mean, I don't know how. I don't know

[profmoony]

Remus didn't want to start an argument, but Sirius and Lily's constant insistence that Cox wasn't such a bad guy was really starting to get on his nerves. "Padfoot, he tried to kill me. He hates my guts. He's called me every foul name in the book and has been an utter arse to me ever since his Sorting. For Merlin's sake, why do you keep making excuses for him? Do you really think it's all right for him to treat me that way

[toujours_sirius]

Sirius shrugged. "I dunno, I don't take him very seriously. I mean, all that name calling and stuff - it's sort of a facade. It's his thing. But once you get past it, you realise he's just a regular bloke. The key is to give as good as he does - no, to give better. What exactly has he done to you, anyway? He can't honestly have tried to kill you. I mean, don't Muggle doctors have to take some sort of oath or something?"

He set his teacup down and leant forward. "Well, now that I'm around, you can always owl me if you fancy a chat about something that's, you know, bothering you. I promise not to head off towards Azkaban or Reno again anytime in the near future. Best not to pretend it'll go away, because it never really does." Sirius shot Remus a sympathetic glance.

Then, just as quickly, he burst into laughter. "Sorry, Moony - it's not you. It's just...oh, Merlin, I remembered something the other James said to me, and it was so utterly ridiculous. He - he said something about me having a stash of gay porn!" Sirius laughed harder. "

[profmoony]

"Look, he showed up in the radio studio with a fucking baseball bat and threatened to break my jaw with it. He's called me a cannibal. He's told me I was an incompetent professor. He's repeatedly told me I was an 'insufferable prick.' I don't like being treated like that, Padfoot. Goodness knows it's easy enough to get back at him, but I still don't find his behavior funny - or excusable."

The thought of Sirius reading gay porn, on the other hand, was pretty funny. "Goodness, I had no idea you went for gay porn. That's certainly news to me. You know, you do have a talent for writing gay porn - maybe you could make a few extra Galleons for yourself by writing articles for 'Playwitch.' Or maybe you could -" Remus started cracking up. "- you could write marshmallow porn for... for..." He couldn't think of a good title for a porn magazine about Homsar, and anyway, he was laughing too hard to get the words out.

[toujours_sirius]

"I think the day he's sugary sweet is the day anyone would really have to worry. Next time he decides to be obnoxious, just threaten to have sex with him. That's what works for me. Your horse prank blows all of the come-ons I've thrown at him waaaaay out of the water, but I suppose it's not practical on a more daily basis."

Sirius didn't know the details of the 'cannibal' thing, but he did know this was an issue Remus was particularly sensitive about, so he added, "And you're not a cannibal. He didn't know about all of the stuff you did for the Order. If he did, I don't think he would have said that. Even he wouldn't go that far. But if you want, I can ask him not to say things like that again. I wouldn't tell him why, of course. But...you shouldn't ever have to hear anything like that."

Remus's career advice to Sirius only made him laugh harder. "I suppose I do have a knack for writing the gay porn! Maybe that's my calling in life! But...but...the marshmallow porn...I refuse! I mean, putting the details of Jenga into words would be

[profmoony]

"I actually have threatened to have sex with him. Or close enough, anyway. He is awfully easy to rile up." Remus snorted. "The cannibal stuff really did rub me the wrong way - and when he said I was incompetent. That's just low. I don't know why he hates me so much - I never did anything to him, except in retaliation for things he did to me. I think he just needs someone to hate and I happened to be in the way. Pathetic." He made a disgusted face.

"Maybe you should try writing more gay porn," he suggested. "I'd be happy to proofread for you. And you do have my permission to use our exploits, as long as you change the identifying details. You could set the porn in a Muggle public school and have it be an ongoing series. I think you really could make some good money for yourself that way. But I think the Jenga would require too great a suspension of disbelief on the part of your readers." He started cracking up again.