Application for Dwight Schrute

[schrute_dwight]

(Dwight Schrute; The Office (US Version))
((Minor spoilers up through the first part of S3. Any links in the application or comments will be spoilerific as well. You have been warned.))

((Approved by Michael- and Jim-muns))A man strode into the Sorting Room, dressed in khakis and a green dress shirt, tie carefully straight, a look of extreme

Comments

[fathalpert]

Jim is, of course, absolutely thrilled to spot Dwight across the Sorting Room, for a whole host of reasons -- not least of which is the fact that Dwight appears to have stuff to steal. He waits until Dwight is occupied with the application and therefore not looking; then he sneaks around behind the other man's back, grabs the supplies from the table, and silently sneaks off back to where his own application awaits.

[wh0_kill3d_m3]

*squees*

Pens! Ah, sweet mystery of life, at last I've found you!

I will vote you for Hufflepuff in exchange for a box of ballpoints and a box of felt-tips. Black, of course.

*on her shoulder, Galahad bleeks in her ear*

- and some deer jerky for the treecat here. Do we have a deal?

[schrute_dwight]

Oh. This was a problem. Looking embarrassed, Dwight sighed and shot a glare over towards Jim. "I'm afraid I don't have any pens," he muttered painfully. "They were," he cleared his throat, "misplaced. I can, however, give you the deer jerky." Damn you, Jim!

Vote: Hufflepuff

[wh0_kill3d_m3]

*glances over in Jim's direction*

Ahh. I should hit the other guy up for the pens, then? Gotcha. You don't know how weird it is living in a culture without little things you're used to like that.

Excellent! You can send it to Laura, in Hufflepuff. Which is where I'm voting you, of course.

Any thoughts on where I should vote the other guy?

Re: Vote: Hufflepuff

[schrute_dwight]

"Considering the fact that he stole them, yeah," Dwight muttered under his breath, favoring Jim with another glare. "He will rue the day."

Wait... Hufflepuff? Attention caught once more by Laura, Dwight turned back. "Laura. And cat...thing. A pleasure. Perhaps you can explain to me exactly what you're voting before I accept it." And where to vote Jim? A very devious smile crossed Dwight's face. "Do you have a house for scheming liars who waste time and like to prank innocent workers? That's where he should go," Dwight jerked his head towards Jim.

[office_michael]

Having just seen Jim, Michael was not nearly as excited to see Dwight. Not that he would have been anyway, because it was Dwight. Although somewhere in the back of his mind, Michael was actually elated. But he would never EVER admit that to himself, let alone Dwight.

Walking briskly over to Dwight, he simply said in a slightly irritated voice, "Wellllllll, wellllllll, Dwight. Nice of you to join me here. Took you long enough. I had to run The Dundies without you! Wheeeeeeeere have you been?"

[schrute_dwight]

There was no way to describe the relief and joy on Dwight's face. "Oh my God, Michael!" Rushing over, Dwight embraced his boss, leaning his head on Michael's shoulder. "I am so happy that you're here. We were worried. And I'm sorry I was negligent in my duties as Assistant Regional Manager." Dwight straightened up, the gleam of fervent devotion in his eyes. "I will never let you down again, Michael. Tell me what I can do."

His sooper sekrit mission was, for the moment, forgotten. His main job was to be there for Michael. And he couldn't be there for him while he was here for him. So, there he would be.

[office_michael]

Delicately, Michael patted Dwight on the back a few times and then carefully tried to extricate himself from the embrace. Dwight could be so pathetic. Michael would never throw himself all over someone like that. It just made Michael think about how much Dwight still had to learn from him.

"Yeah, well, I've been waiting here for you guys for MONTHS. I even had to do The Dundies without you - ALL of you! And that - that SUCKED, Dwight. That SUCKED, because doing my Ping impersonation for just myself was NOT fun, especially without your sound effects on the keyboard." That was the closest Michael would get to admitting that he had wanted Dwight there, and in spite of this veiled admission, Michael still looked pretty annoyed.

But his expression softened slightly into something more benevolent - something deliberately benevolent, in fact - in light of Dwight's apologies and sworn allegiance. After all, a good manager makes his employees feel as though there is honor in groveling. Of course, everyone knows that groveling makes one look

[schrute_dwight]

Pulling out a pocket-sized notepad and a pen that had escaped Jim's treachery, Dwight began scribbling notes. "Right, sound effects, got it. I did not bring my keyboard, but I can send back for it. It wouldn't fit in my duffel bag and my instructions were specific that I was only allowed one checked bag. And we can re-do the Dundies with sound effects and people laughing at your Ping impression."

At Michael's mention of the demotion, though, Dwight's pen stilled for a second and he glanced up at Michael. "I think you mean Assistant Regional Manager, Michael. Or have you forgotten my promotion?"

That tone of voice he knew well and Dwight's expression got intense. "Tell me everything. You can trust me. Just tell me what you need me to do, Michael." He paused. "Question: Does this involve disposal of bodies? If so, how many and how deep in the ground do I need to go to avoid upheaval?"

[fine_eyes_lizzy]

*stifling giggles over the gimmicky card* Might I see that card, sir? The, ah... the one that declared your status as a deadly weapon?

[schrute_dwight]

Blinking once, slowly, at the giggles - Dwight Schrute was unused to being giggled at - he pulled out his wallet with a slow, small smile. "I got it from my cousin," he told Elizabeth as he held out the card again. "For Christmas."

[fine_eyes_lizzy]

*takes the card, shaking a bit with suppressed laughter* That's quite... Well! I have never seen anything like it. That is very kind of your cousin. *hands back the card, biting her lip to keep from laughing* Here. I would not want to deprive you of such a treasure for too long.

[schrute_dwight]

Dwight was...slightly out of his element. Glancing around to make sure Jim wasn't standing behind him, holding a bucket or a crude sign, then down at his shirt and pants to make sure nothing was unbuttoned or unzipped, he looked back up at Lizzy. "Thanks." He took the card back, placing it carefully in his wallet.

"Yes, Mose is my best friend." Dwight's face relaxed into a smile and he looked around the room. "Or, at least, he is unless I find someone here to be my best friend. Then I probably won't talk to him much anymore."

[every_daae]

*self-consciously pushes blonde hair out of her eyes* Um... you- *distracted by the last bit of the application* You iron your boxers?

I mean-! *blushes furiously* You grew up on a farm? Where? That's what I really meant to say. I didn't mean to say what I did before. Um. I don't think. But... you- you do?

[schrute_dwight]

Not embarrassed in the least - in fact, looking delighted to talk about his farm - Dwight grinned at Christine. "Yes, I do. It makes them more seamless under my pants. Also, fact, warm boxers feel nice in the morning. And my farm is outside of Scranton. It has forty acres. I have pictures, if you want to see them!" He pulled out his wallet and flipped through to a photograph of a field. "Do you like farms?" Hmmm...curly hair, blonde, nice breasts (for the thirsty Schrute children!)... If Angela forgot him while he was serving God and country (and Dunder-Mifflin), this woman might make an excellent prospect.

[every_daae]

*still blushing furiously* Um, that's good. I suppose.

*politely looks at the picture and struggle for words- what can you say about a photo of a field?* That looks very... very pleasant. It reminds me of when I was younger. *smiles* My father and I used to perform at country fairs in France. We staid at farmhouses until the fairs moved on. Everyone was always so kind and welcoming! So, yes, I do like farms. Where's Scranton?

[schrute_dwight]

"Oh, it is. There is no shame in preferring a well ironed set of boxers." Dwight smiled a bit wistfully at the picture. "It is pleasant. Very peaceful. God's own country, out there. You're a performer? What do you perform? My boss, Michael, is a comedian. He's hilarious, you should meet him! Oh, and Scranton is in Pennsylvania."