Jim Halpert, The Office (US)
((Okayed by Michael and Dwight-muns! Also, in case it's not clear, the italics are the written application itself, the rest is just... color commentary. ;) Also also, here be spoilers through S3 -- you have been warned!))
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Yeah, I can see how that's an important piece of information to have. Well, there are many excellent varieties to choose from, but I usually bring a ham and cheese sandwich with me to work and it hasn't failed me yet, so... American.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
*raises his eyebrows, eyes widening, and glances off to the side, as if looking pointedly at someone next to him* "Uh... okay, that's quite a question."
*writes* I guess I'd take Carrot Top, because I bet Dwight would love to get first shot at the purple dinosaur, and I just can't deny him that.
3. What time is it where you are?
7 o'clock. I needed to wait till everyone was out of the office before... never mind.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"What?" *Jim looks up again at the mysterious other person, laughs in disbelief, and looks back down at the application* "Did Michael Scott write this? Um..." *writes*
I don't think any of them are really my type, sorry.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
I'm just going to go with: "Not Chili's Or Hooters". Coming from Scranton, that seems like a smart idea. Oh, and its sister establishment, "Not Benihana."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
I don't know, marriage seems like kind of a big thing. If you pick the wrong person, you could wind up unhappy, or bored or engaged for three years to some guy in Shipping or... you know, a lot of things can go wrong. And then you might miss out on something else that could be really good. That's just... a really big chance to take.
But then again, maybe the most important thing is just to pick someone who loves you back. You don't want to spend years pining after someone who's taken or not interested. The unrequited thing kind of sucks... so I've heard.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Clearly, you work in an office. And you're probably spending a lot of your time doing things that are better than work, like playing pranks on your coworkers.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
*glances off to the side, compressing his lips in an expression that's somewhere between "startled" and "amused"*
Sure, I think I have a lot of useful skills. I'm pretty good at sales. I just got promoted a while ago. And I can run events, like I co-hosted our first ever Office Olympics.
*grins* And I've gotten really, really good at moving things while no one's looking, and putting things in Jello, so there's that.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"A bribe?" *frowns and pats his pockets, fishing* "Let's see... I don't have a whole lot on me..." *looks around and suddenly spots Dwight and his box of supplies; his face lights up* "Hang on, just one second." *slips over to Dwight's side of the room*
*returns a few minutes later, carrying Dwight's box* *sets it down and resumes writing*
Edit: Office supplies! I have office supplies, if anyone wants anything.
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. JH
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. JH.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. JH.
One day, marmalade Dwight Schrute will rule the world. JH"
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Yeah, I can see how that's an important piece of information to have. Well, there are many excellent varieties to choose from, but I usually bring a ham and cheese sandwich with me to work and it hasn't failed me yet, so... American.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
*raises his eyebrows, eyes widening, and glances off to the side, as if looking pointedly at someone next to him* "Uh... okay, that's quite a question."
*writes* I guess I'd take Carrot Top, because I bet Dwight would love to get first shot at the purple dinosaur, and I just can't deny him that.
3. What time is it where you are?
7 o'clock. I needed to wait till everyone was out of the office before... never mind.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"What?" *Jim looks up again at the mysterious other person, laughs in disbelief, and looks back down at the application* "Did Michael Scott write this? Um..." *writes*
I don't think any of them are really my type, sorry.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
I'm just going to go with: "Not Chili's Or Hooters". Coming from Scranton, that seems like a smart idea. Oh, and its sister establishment, "Not Benihana."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
I don't know, marriage seems like kind of a big thing. If you pick the wrong person, you could wind up unhappy, or bored or engaged for three years to some guy in Shipping or... you know, a lot of things can go wrong. And then you might miss out on something else that could be really good. That's just... a really big chance to take.
But then again, maybe the most important thing is just to pick someone who loves you back. You don't want to spend years pining after someone who's taken or not interested. The unrequited thing kind of sucks... so I've heard.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Clearly, you work in an office. And you're probably spending a lot of your time doing things that are better than work, like playing pranks on your coworkers.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
*glances off to the side, compressing his lips in an expression that's somewhere between "startled" and "amused"*
Sure, I think I have a lot of useful skills. I'm pretty good at sales. I just got promoted a while ago. And I can run events, like I co-hosted our first ever Office Olympics.
*grins* And I've gotten really, really good at moving things while no one's looking, and putting things in Jello, so there's that.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"A bribe?" *frowns and pats his pockets, fishing* "Let's see... I don't have a whole lot on me..." *looks around and suddenly spots Dwight and his box of supplies; his face lights up* "Hang on, just one second." *slips over to Dwight's side of the room*
*returns a few minutes later, carrying Dwight's box* *sets it down and resumes writing*
Edit: Office supplies! I have office supplies, if anyone wants anything.
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. JH
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. JH.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. JH.
One day, marmalade Dwight Schrute will rule the world. JH"