Soon I will have lived FUCKING EVERYWHERE in London

Squeak and I have been sort of hypothetically peering at post codes because we think it'd be rad to get a place together next year if I am still here (HOPEFULLY) but the place I wanna go to school at is in like SE-fucking-19 and that's absurd so it'd have to be somewhere kinda southerly and on ( Read more... )

CONTEXT: My mother and I are watching I Claudius and Augustus is being treated for a ~mysterious illness~

My Mother: They should use leeches!
Me: Oh, no, this is pre-leeches.
My Mother: HOW PRIMITIVE.

Was makin myself a milkshake this morning when this happened ( Read more... )

I'M SITTING IN MY BACKYARD ON THE GRASS NEAR THE WILDFLOWER GARDEN WITH MY CATS ( Read more... )

So I'm havin' dinner with my parents, and dad is talking about his business, blah blah blah, and then he is like OH BY THE WAY I HAVE A MEETING WITH THE FBI TOMORROW ( Read more... )

My dog is pretty old and has been getting steadily deafer for a while now, so she can really only hear things that are either really loud or in a certain pitch.

...So my mom has started trying to teach her sign language

No joke of a lie

Dear father,

When you are on the phone with someone and they ask what is new in your life, saying "my growth is benign!" is probably not the best answer. I am not always entirely sure what acceptable smalltalk entails, but I am pretty certain it is not that.

Fondly,
Hannah.

p.s. It's a wonder that there is not more wrong with me, honestly.

Oh jesus, my parents are so psychotic. My mom's birthday is tomorrow, and she keeps referring to today as "birthday eve" and insisting that if she hangs cake pans over the fireplace the birthday fairy will come and fill them with cake ( Read more... )

MY KINGDOM FOR A BATMAN SHIRT! :(

In other news: Aww. My dad interpreted my mother's request to redecorate the living room to mean "put a bunch of old filing cabinets and office chairs in it".

Aww.

He does try bless him ( Read more... )