I'm really fucking tired of being so god damned inspirational to complete and total strangers.  You think its a coincidence that numerous people previously unknown to me go out of their way to tell me how heroic I am based on some projection of their psyche and my perceived inability to make a real connection with another human being?  I don't.

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 I don't know which is harder; starting or starting again.  At first blush it would seem an easy question to answer.  When one starts an endeavor the implication is that no previous attempt had been made.  Being completely new, the experience is prone to al the pitfalls and pratfalls that are common with the first encounter with something foreign ( Read more... )

I'm back. For those not in the know I took a little three week road trip because I needed to get the hell out of Dodge. Turns out, it is neither better nor worse there than it is here. Apparently your personal demons don't require a forwarding address to find you when you skip town. Here is the briefest of brief recaps ( Read more... )

I've been thinking a lot recent about artistic endeavors. I like to create. I write occasionally, sometimes short stories, other times songs. I currently have 2 novels, 1 movie script, 1 tv script (the pilot and first two episodes), and 1/2 a play completed. They are only completed in my head so they don't do anyone else much good. I've also ( Read more... )

I saw a shrink recently. He was a nice enough guy, as most are in a professional setting. He said something interesting which has been stuck in my head. I figured I'd let it run around here for a little while and see if its legs fall off ( Read more... )

There is a lock in my head which safeguards all that can make me complete. That is to say, the tools which can make me complete. This is not a magic potion to consume. I still have to do the work, but at least I'll be working with the proper gear. No more driving screws with a ping pong ball, no more pounding nails with a banana. I've been ( Read more... )

The sounds of bodies crashing, things breaking, and someone screaming, "fuck me, please fuck me harder" has been bouncing through the halls and into my apartment for the last half an hour. Its actually a fairly frequent occurrence and is actually rather tame this evening. It doesn't bother me. I just find it amusing. I often wonder why they don ( Read more... )

You sit on your board, gently bobbing up and down as waves roll into the shore. Every now and then you see a wave you like so you turn and paddle. Sometimes you catch it and sometimes you don't. When you catch that first wave you hardly know what to do. Frantic paddling followed by futile attempts to stand up. You collect your board and try ( Read more... )

I recently purchased an iBook off of eBay. As soon as I got it I bought more ram, a new battery, and set up a wireless network at home. Why did I make these purchases? Is my old computer dead? Do I have a need for portable computing power? I did have some great rationalizations, but truth be told there was no good reason ( Read more... )