~.: Now that it's December, I feel the need to sort of reflect on the year. This year was the best and worst year of my life, which makes it really hard to fully appreciate the things that contribute to it being the worst and best. On the one hand, I ended a relationship that had been bad from the start. January started with drama in that ( Read more... )

~.: ... and the pain still throbs and aches as if it were fresh. For the most part, I don't really think about my brother being gone. For the most part, I don't really notice as much as my mom or brother and sister might, because I never got to see him that much. But that's part of the pain. Realizing that the last time I saw my brother was at ( Read more... )

~.: Today is Layne's birthday and alas, I am bitchy and irritable and in no mood to be doing anything or talking with anyone. My period started today, which left me cramped and exhausted, and irritable as anything. I feel ugly, and even moreso after yesterday's watching True Blood with Michael, during which we established how much hotter, ( Read more... )

~.: So today was a pretty productive day. I even went grocery shopping and everything! And I originally wanted to update with all the awesome that was this past weekend into today, but my ex decided to call me and ruin everything. Because he wanted to know what I was working next so he could stop in the store and I could "give him guidance for his ( Read more... )

~.: I wish I could move to a point of straight out hating Guille. The only time I don't feel like I should just call him is when I'm too distracted to think about it, or when I have good friends reminding me how it felt to be in a relationship with him that was full of double-standards, flip-flopping, and expectations I could just never meet. And I ( Read more... )

~.: I broke up with Guille. Cue post-breakup guilt and second thoughts. And of course he was as sweet as he ever was, telling me everything I wanted to hear months ago, and saying that in the past few days he's had an epiphany and understood everything he was doing wrong and everything that made me feel so guilty and nearly broke my resolve. But I ( Read more... )

~.: Actually, I'm in a really good mood, despite the fact that it's Monday, I'm sleepy, and don't really wanna be doing work right now (something more like watching movies and crocheting sounds more to my tastes about now). At any rate, I figured I'd post about my weekend, which I haven't done in a while, and only feel inspired to do so because it ( Read more... )

~.: My LJ is turning out to be a bipolar ranting space. 8D At any rate, I don't really wanna talk about how depressed I am over my finances for the umpteenth time. I have no money, you all know it, life goes on sucking ( Read more... )

~.: Guille and I took our lunch together, and at the urging of my anxiety, I sort of hastened our talk to take place on our lunch break, rather than tonight. It went surprisingly better than expected. I was able to keep my resolve, and presented him with my ultimatums, of which there are three: he has to let me set the pace of the relationship from ( Read more... )

~.: So I found this wonderful community on LJ call relationhelp, and posted my drama up there for some advice. One girl linked me to this site, and I took a look around. I clicked under the "defective" term, and read all the bullets. I feel each and every single one of those. Every. Single. One. I looked at the categories of abuse in the quiz section, and ( Read more... )