I know that I need to post more often, but I've been having trouble updating since Mariah died. And this recent suicide of Robin Williams has just got me spinning, thinking about it over and over again.

Depression is humiliating. It turns intelligent, kind people into zombies who can’t wash a dish or change their socks. It affects the ability to think clearly, to feel anything, to ascribe value to your children, your lifelong passions, your relative good fortune. It scoops out your normal healthy ability to cope with bad days and bad news, and ( Read more... )

I'm beyond stressed out right now. My summative is later today and my unit test is on Wednesday, and I don't understand fucking any of it. My only chance is to throw myself at the mercy of my teacher and beg him let me to do a different summative than the one we're doing, because I'm pretty sure I'm going to fail unless he takes pity on me. I'm ( Read more... )

• 1: what have you been diagnosed with, (and possibly self diagnosed with)?: In order: generalized anxiety disorder (true), depression (true), agoraphobia (untrue), borderline personality disorder (very untrue), social anxiety (untrue), misophonia (true, and related to the anxiety).
• 2: what will you tend to do at nights, when you can't sleep?: ( Read more... )

Okay, I'm going to make a legitimate attempt at updating my LiveJournal on a regular basis, even though Mariah is gone.

I have to go register for school on Monday the 28th. My hands just started getting sweaty and my heart is pounding because I'm thinking about it. I don't even know why I'm so nervous. I've been back in school since February 2012, ( Read more... )

I don't know, I'm not doing that great. My mood is getting progressively lower day by day, and my anxiety is starting to get out of control. Every night as I'm laying in bed, my heart starts pounding, and my thoughts just start racing through every possibility of anything that could go wrong, ever. It fully has taken me like 2+ hours to get to ( Read more... )

"Depression is humiliating. It turns intelligent, kind people into zombies who can’t wash a dish or change their socks. It affects the ability to think clearly, to feel anything, to ascribe value to your children, your lifelong passions, your relative good fortune. It scoops out your normal healthy ability to cope with bad days and bad news, and ( Read more... )

I'm okay right now. I'm doing really well in school, and I've managed to somewhat (for the time being) handle the problem with Brandon and the phone company, so we can talk, for now. But I can't help feeling like this is all going to be taken away from me. I feel like something really awful is going to happen. My dad is going to die, or Brandon and ( Read more... )

I meant it when I said I wanna get well, I wanna get well. Are the rest of you so content? Say what you want, but it hurts like hell.

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Lately, when I think about going back to school and how happy I am to be doing so, it scares me to death. I know this sounds so fucking stupid and self-indulgent, but like.. who am I without my disorders? I'm ( Read more... )

Liars like you who pretend to be sick for attention are the reason why people like us will NEVER be taken seriously by those who have been lucky enough to have never had to struggle with a mental illness. I am disgusted and repelled by you using mental illness, of ALL things, as a way to garner attention for yourself. As a person who has struggled ( Read more... )