Switzerland's a funny place sometimes.

Walking home in the evening, I find that some fuckwit has put up a poster deriding evolution and promoting their own whackjobbery in its place. (Islamic in tone-a refreshing change from the monotonous fare provided by some who think they're Christians.) Am I just biased, or is there something about the ( Read more... )

While I was at coffee with my old colleagues in Zurich this morning, they said-without formal commitment, but pretty bluntly-that there was a job going in the data-storage section of The Bank, and that I could have that job if I wanted it ( Read more... )

I almost didn't go to Zurich this weekend, but akeela more or less pushed me out of the house. "It'll do you good," he said. He was absolutely right. What a wonderful weekend ( Read more... )

This morning I received a letter by registered post, from the Steueramt, the Swiss tax office. Final demand. They say they sent me a tax declaration form for 2005 and they want it back, filled in, within ten days. And if you are failink to komply, the letter reads in the desiccated duckspeak of administrative German, zen we are hurtink you. And ( Read more... )

I’ve come to the conclusion that the driving and cohering force behind Swiss society is little old Swiss grandmothers. I don’t know why, but you just don’t mess with Swiss grandmothers. If you did, something would happen: you don’t know what it is, but you know you’re not gonna like it. She might hit you over the head with her handbag; she might ( Read more... )

alarm clock 06:00 / greasy-gritty fatigue taste in mouth / no shower, dress / walk to bus stop in rain / bus doesn’t come / second bus doesn’t come, WTF!?!!? / third bus comes on time, to work / work all day, no serious issues thanks to expert advice and documentation from colleagues / book eight hours’ overtime / home / washing-machine is booked ( Read more... )

Bloody hell, but it’s hard work living in another language.

It’s been four weeks since I started speaking German at home. I’m coming along by leaps and bounds-Naut says so, Aki says so-but it takes continual effort and occasional despair. It’s not that I’m bad at the language (I am, but that isn’t exactly the problem); it’s those moments when ( Read more... )

To tail off my recent spate of Swissishisms, a small quote from Quaxo’s nice Xenophobe’s Guide:“Thousands of items are lost every year on Switzerland’s public transport system. The recovery of lost items functions smoothly under a strict system: one must be able to state the bus, tram or train line as well as the date and time when the property ( Read more... )

I just paid my medical-insurance bill for August. (In Switzerland it’s illegal not to be insured.) Normally I pay it on the nail, but somehow I missed that one. Now they sent me a final demand, with a twenty-franc surcharge. It pokes a still bigger overrun in my budget for the month, but... fair enough. I paid without demur ( Read more... )

A French child, a German child and a Swiss child are discussing the provenance of babies.

“Ach,” snorts ze German child, who is probably from Bavaria. “Babies coming ven ze Babydeliverungsstork coming and zem down ze Chimney dropping is are.”

“Mais non!” exclaims the French child, his dark eyes shining. “Les chers petits bebés, arrive because ( Read more... )