I am more convinced that doctors are throwing the FMS blanket at people who have other more seriously underlying issues. Rather than do a little more digging, it's easier to shove a handful of perscriptions at the habitual patient who's probably got something closer to Munchausen inverted
( ... )
What bothers me is that I don't think the woman IS an idiot. She struck me as very thoughtful and considerate when we first "met" via another LJ friend. She's also a Christian, so the level of her anger/bile/fury/offence was really shocking to me
( ... )
Jett, you've been part of my (in)sanity through most of this! *laughs*
I'm not really trying to get on people with FMS, either. I admitted during that mess with Naomi that I have been diagnosed, myself. But I prefer to remain positive and to take whatever actions I can to do as well as I can for as long as I can.
My only real complaint I guess is that when I think of you, I think "Jett". When I talk about myself, I think "Grey". When I think of her, now...and others like her...I think "FMS". They've so identified with their illness that they cannot conceive of anything else beyond that worldview. It's when you constantly look at what everyone else does through the coloured lenses of your Victimology ("I'm a Rape Victim", "I'm a Cancer Survivor", "I was Abused") then you're no longer talking about people, you're talking about something that happened TO you. It's not YOU.
I have a Dental Floss Dialogue I usually throw at people who have "Pet Adjectives" for everything. I started doing this when I was surrounded by gay men
( ... )
I missed all that. I read that post, and as I so often do, I put it in my head for stewing. See, I don't think very quickly, and to think about deep stuff, I have to let it sit for a long time, sometimes. Days or weeks, even. But I was thinking about it, and I had come to the conclusion that you are, in large part very very right about that. It's something I need to work on, and it's really hard for me. I'm wrestling with it tonight; right now, in fact.
And now this, to go back, see the drama, and find out that she was so upset about something that was not about her . . . just . . . wow.
It's a fact that truth is often unpleasant and hard to bear, and that if you are saying things that are true, hard to hear and harder to live and practice, you will attract people who will disagree with you, not just violently, but personallyI can't help but feel very sorry for her. And I don't mean that in a smarmy, obnoxious kind of way. I mean it's genuinely awful that she's so hurt and so sensitive that she can't see past her
( ... )
It is something you get better at. I sucked at it until quite recently. There are still days when I wonder if I shouldn't be on drugs to help me, but then I remember what taking those felt like, and I know I couldn't do it again.
She was acting like a child, or an animal. Very defensive, wounded . . . I understand it, but it's unfortunate. She made it worse on herself. By insisting it was about her, she made it all about her, brought in a lot of negativity, and fulfilled her own prophecy.
I honestly considered just deleting my whole LJ after that mess.
I could almost understand if you wanted to delete your LJ if the blow-up involved one of your friends. Not a veritable stranger whose opinions do NOT matter and is FAR from rational.
Naamah said it better but I'll give my own brief summary: Your words help too many people for you to allow an insignificant nobody threaten your sharing that voice. Don't give those kind of people this sort of power over you. They are unworthy of that kind of power.
Tha and I'm a selfish bitch and I'd never forgive you for depriving me of you. *g*
Not so eloquent (or focused) this morning, but I have to say that I agree with most of what's been said so far.
I know how tempting it is to just shut up and go away when the insanity of a stranger starts exploding all around you. I'm glad you're stronger than I am.
And your brain won't ever stop niggling at the "why?" of the situation. Mine still does, and it's been what? About a year since such insanity blew up at me? Having had it happen to me a times before that time, I can tell you that eventually the niggling will lessen, or maybe you just grow accustomed to it and don't notice as much, but it's still there and will rear its head from time to time just to remind you that it is. The key is to not let it drive you as insane as the person that caused it.
*hugs* Your experience and that of our beloved mutual friends R & D is never far from my thoughts. I'm still sad when I see what was done to all of you--and in your case, still breaks out here and there. It's not right.
I just wish I could walk away from things like that without the psychic bruises one carries. I was still working out recovering from what exploded all over me in November and now THIS.
I have to admit, it doesn't help when Clueless is playing Let's Beat Her Up in his irrational mindgame he plays at work. He is back to blaming me for every computer glitch the Snake Oil software creates and his own errors despite the incredible mass of work I have produced and things I've done right. He decided last Wednesday was the day to browbeat me continually for SEVERAL HOURS. I stumbled home with one of the worst migraines I've ever had and nearly had an accident.
I think it's almost a case of the wolves sensing a weakness and going in for the kill. Emotionally, I'm totally drained.
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I'm not really trying to get on people with FMS, either. I admitted during that mess with Naomi that I have been diagnosed, myself. But I prefer to remain positive and to take whatever actions I can to do as well as I can for as long as I can.
My only real complaint I guess is that when I think of you, I think "Jett". When I talk about myself, I think "Grey". When I think of her, now...and others like her...I think "FMS". They've so identified with their illness that they cannot conceive of anything else beyond that worldview. It's when you constantly look at what everyone else does through the coloured lenses of your Victimology ("I'm a Rape Victim", "I'm a Cancer Survivor", "I was Abused") then you're no longer talking about people, you're talking about something that happened TO you. It's not YOU.
I have a Dental Floss Dialogue I usually throw at people who have "Pet Adjectives" for everything. I started doing this when I was surrounded by gay men ( ... )
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I missed all that. I read that post, and as I so often do, I put it in my head for stewing. See, I don't think very quickly, and to think about deep stuff, I have to let it sit for a long time, sometimes. Days or weeks, even. But I was thinking about it, and I had come to the conclusion that you are, in large part very very right about that. It's something I need to work on, and it's really hard for me. I'm wrestling with it tonight; right now, in fact.
And now this, to go back, see the drama, and find out that she was so upset about something that was not about her . . . just . . . wow.
It's a fact that truth is often unpleasant and hard to bear, and that if you are saying things that are true, hard to hear and harder to live and practice, you will attract people who will disagree with you, not just violently, but personallyI can't help but feel very sorry for her. And I don't mean that in a smarmy, obnoxious kind of way. I mean it's genuinely awful that she's so hurt and so sensitive that she can't see past her ( ... )
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She was acting like a child, or an animal. Very defensive, wounded . . . I understand it, but it's unfortunate. She made it worse on herself. By insisting it was about her, she made it all about her, brought in a lot of negativity, and fulfilled her own prophecy.
Sad.
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I could almost understand if you wanted to delete your LJ if the blow-up involved one of your friends. Not a veritable stranger whose opinions do NOT matter and is FAR from rational.
Naamah said it better but I'll give my own brief summary: Your words help too many people for you to allow an insignificant nobody threaten your sharing that voice. Don't give those kind of people this sort of power over you. They are unworthy of that kind of power.
Tha and I'm a selfish bitch and I'd never forgive you for depriving me of you. *g*
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Just remember - I'm close enough to find you if you do something crazy like deleting your LJ. :P
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*hugs*
Grey
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I know how tempting it is to just shut up and go away when the insanity of a stranger starts exploding all around you. I'm glad you're stronger than I am.
And your brain won't ever stop niggling at the "why?" of the situation. Mine still does, and it's been what? About a year since such insanity blew up at me? Having had it happen to me a times before that time, I can tell you that eventually the niggling will lessen, or maybe you just grow accustomed to it and don't notice as much, but it's still there and will rear its head from time to time just to remind you that it is. The key is to not let it drive you as insane as the person that caused it.
*hugs* Hope you have a beautiful day.
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I just wish I could walk away from things like that without the psychic bruises one carries. I was still working out recovering from what exploded all over me in November and now THIS.
I have to admit, it doesn't help when Clueless is playing Let's Beat Her Up in his irrational mindgame he plays at work. He is back to blaming me for every computer glitch the Snake Oil software creates and his own errors despite the incredible mass of work I have produced and things I've done right. He decided last Wednesday was the day to browbeat me continually for SEVERAL HOURS. I stumbled home with one of the worst migraines I've ever had and nearly had an accident.
I think it's almost a case of the wolves sensing a weakness and going in for the kill. Emotionally, I'm totally drained.
Love you,
Grey
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